


You or Someone Like You

by len1985



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2018-11-15 14:44:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 78,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11233179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/len1985/pseuds/len1985
Summary: Serena meets Alex and Bernie at a bar. Alex is charming and forward, she thinks they have a lot in common, while Bernie seems timid and awkward. She thinks she gives her number to Alex, but the texts that follow are really from Bernie. How can she explain that the Alex she dates seems so different from the one in their texts? How can she explain that she feels more drawn to Bernie in person? Will she admit that she's falling for the wrong friend?Slight nod to a Cyrano de Bergerac concept but no real reference to the work itself...





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh come on, Bern! Put that thing away, will you? It's a bar, not a book club. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why we're even friends.” Alex scoffs at the blonde to her left.

  
Bernie peeks out over the top of her book with an eyebrow raised as if to say ‘me too. Believe me, me too...’ Here she is, head buried in her favourite novel, slowly sipping her Shiraz and her friend is guzzling beer like nobody's business, literally rating every woman who passes. Much to Bernie’s chagrin, out loud. It worries her that she might be considered just as bad as the brunette by association, but then Alex is never short of a date and Bernie hasn't even been on one in almost a year. Maybe this kind of brazen objectifying worked...? Bernie shook her head, baffled. They couldn't be more different if they tried really. Chalk and cheese. Oil and water. “This is my favourite part...” Bernie’s head disappears again and Alex has had enough.

  
“You've read it before?! Right, that's it. Give me the bloody book and start acting like a wing woman should!” Alex snatches her friend's novel away.

  
“Hey!” Bernie tries to take back her book but Alex holds it aloft, out of reach.

  
“You can have this back when I leave. Preferably with a gorgeous lady on my arm.” Alex smirks and hangs onto the book, while Bernie sulks, arms folded.

  
They both see her at the same time. Brunette, cropped hair and laughing at something that the woman with her has said. Bernie feels like pushing her friend's jaw closed, as she ogles the woman while Bernie just stares at her in wonder. She's beautiful...

  
“Nice tits.” Alex nudges Bernie out of her stupor and points the nose of her beer bottle straight at the woman's cleavage.

  
“Great smile.” Bernie retorts in a soft whisper, unheard by Alex, dropping her chin down to her hand and resting her weight on her elbow on the table top. A tiny sigh slips out as she watches the brunette. No point going there, she thinks. If Alex wants her, Alex will no doubt have her.

  
“Look alive, my friend. She's headed our way. Just follow my lead.” Alex sits up a little taller in preparation. “Be cool.” She says under her breath.

  
“Oh yeah, of the two of us, I'm renowned for being the cool one.” Bernie quips and braces herself for witnessing the Alex Dawson charm offensive up close. Again.

  
“Do you read many of her works? I love this one.” The woman's words are directed solely at Alex of course. She looks as if she doesn't even see Bernie. The blonde couldn't say she was surprised.

  
“Huh?” Alex offers the rather inarticulate reply and Bernie tries to chuckle unnoticed but Alex kicks her in the shin.

  
“Ouch! Oh em sorry... old injury.” Bernie rubs at the sore spot and flushes furiously. “She means the book oh smooth one.” She offers into Alex's ear and looks pointedly down at the novel.

  
Alex stares at it as if she's never seen a book before in her life, let alone read one. She'd set it on the table in front of her so the other brunette must think it's hers. “Oh well, yes I think... Louisa May Alcott...is wonderful.” Alex reads the author’s name slowly off the cover. Never heard of her or these Little Women, she muses to herself. She fixes Bernie with a ‘help me’ expression.

  
“It's a classic. I read it as a kid and it's always been one of my favourites.” Bernie whispers to her friend.

  
“Oh well, yeah. It's a classic, right? I read it when I was a kid and it's always been one of my favourites since.” Alex echoes Bernie’s words and mouths a quick ‘thank you’ to the blonde when the woman smiles brightly down at her answer.

  
“Who's your favourite character?” The woman seems to be engaging now. If only it wasn't about Bernie’s stupid book.

  
“Well, I like all of the Little Women really...” Alex stumbles out an answer. Not the right one, if the furrowed brow was any indication.

  
“Oh now, Alex don't be shy. She was just telling me, before you came over, that Jo was her favourite. Weren't you? Something about fierce independence and fighting against societal roles to find her place in a man's world. Defying convention, I think you said.” Bernie saves her friend by giving her own answer.

  
“Here here!” The brunette cheers and throws another gorgeous smile at Alex. Bernie was mesmerized. “I see you like your reds. Can I buy you another? I'm Serena, by the way.” She sticks her hand out and shakes Alex's.

  
“Alex Dawson.” Alex smiles up at Serena and forgets to even introduce Bernie. “Reds?”

  
“Your wine. What kind is it? I'll get you another, you've almost finished that one.” Serena points out Bernie’s glass, thinking it belongs to Alex.

  
“Shiraz.” Bernie helps her friend out again.

  
“That's my tipple of choice too.” Serena beams.

  
“Yes. Shiraz. Love the stuff. Can't get enough.” Alex downs the rest of Bernie's wine and tries not to gag at the taste. “Aren't you drinking your beer, Bern?” Alex pushes what was her bottle at the blonde. No doubt payback for Bernie silently laughing at her attempts to swallow the Shiraz.

  
“Great, thanks. Yum.” Bernie eyes the bottle suspiciously for a minute before having to take a drink, just to stop Serena's strange look. God she hated beer.

  
“How about I get us another round?” Alex offers, chivalrous to a fault when trying to get into a woman's underwear. “Same again?” She smiles and heads off to the bar. One glass of wine would be worth it to win points with Serena.

  
“So, you and Alex aren't a couple or anything?” Serena turns her attention to Bernie, now she's the only one there.

  
Bernie's only response for a while is to laugh. A great honking, belly laugh that Serena finds oddly intriguing. Bernie catches the brunette staring at her with an strange look in her eye that cuts Bernie off. “No. Just friends. She's free as a bird. I doubt I'm her type.... Or anyone's.” Bernie adds at the end, under her breath.

  
“Sorry, I don't think she told me your name. Serena Campbell.” She extends a hand to the blonde.

  
“Berenice Wolfe. Everyone calls me Bernie.” She flashes Serena a small smile and shakes her hand. Both women feel a spark of something as they touch but Bernie pulls away first, as if she's been burned by the brunette’s skin on hers. No point reading too much into, she supposes, once Alex comes back, Bernie will be invisible again. She takes a swig of Alex's beer, at a loss for something else to do and almost spits it right back out, choking rather gracelessly on the liquid.

  
Serena tried to ignore the jolt sent through her when she shook the blonde’s hand but it had been quite pleasant, certainly never happened before. “I don't know how you drink that stuff.” Serena giggles as she gestures at Bernie's beer.

  
“I don't normally, Shiraz is much nicer.” Bernie forgets herself for a moment. “...is what Alex would say if she were here.” She adds pathetically. “Where is Alex anyway?” Bernie searches for her friend, anything to end the torture of Serena's proximity. There's a reason why no one will date you, Wolfe. She chides herself for being such an oddity.

  
“Here we go. Talking about me while I was gone, I hope.” Alex sets the drinks down and Serena laughs at what she assumes is humour. Bernie knows Alex is at least partially serious but is captivated by Serena’s laugh all the same.

  
“So, Alex. What do you do for a living?” Serena takes a quick, satisfying sip of her Shiraz, while Bernie stares at a second beer she'll have to get through, in disgust.

  
“I'm an anaesthetist. Over at St James' you?” Alex finds the wine hard to swallow but powers through.

  
“I'm a surgeon at Holby. Vascular.” Serena explains.

  
“Trauma.” Bernie offers, unprompted and then goes a deep shade of purple when she remembers that no one asked her.

  
“That must be quite challenging. Exciting.” Serena throws her a lifeline.

  
“It has its moments.” Bernie mumbles into another revolting mouthful of beer. “Listen, Al. I might just shoot off. Early shift, you know how it is?” Bernie lies, anything to get away from playing third wheel.

  
Just then Bernie’s phone rings on the table, filling the space with the first bars of Swan Lake.

  
“Oh I do love Swan Lake.” Serena grins and waits for someone to pick up the phone.

  
“Yep, that's mine. Love a bit of Swan Lake.” Alex snatches up the phone and rejects a call from Bernie's Mum. Bernie will pay dearly for that later. Her eyes plead with Bernie to play along.

  
“Yes, I have tickets for the performance in two weeks.” Bernie plays along. “Alex loves the ballet.” She smirks as her friend's face falls.

  
“Ballet?” Alex sounds anything but enthused at the prospect.

  
“Yes, you remember Al. We go every year.” Bernie winks, highly amused by the thought of her friend having to sit through it with her. Alex's idea of hell.

  
“Well, there are four tickets. Maybe Serena would like to join us.” Alex grins at her ingenious plan.

  
“Could I have a word, Alex?” Bernie pulls her friend away sharply. “Excuse us for a moment.” Bernie offers to Serena, never let it be said that Berenice Griselda Wolfe had poor manners. “What are you doing? Those tickets are for my family to go with me, not so you can dupe some nice lady into sleeping with you!” Bernie hisses.

  
“Relax, I'll pay my half. You can take your parents and your brother to another night. That way you can see it twice.” Alex winks at her friend. “Besides, I'll find a nice date for you and bring her along. Win win.”

  
“Alex. No, wait. Alex.” Bernie struggles not to raise her voice as her friend walks away, back to Serena.

  
“Problem?” Serena looks between the two.

  
“Not at all. How about it? You, me. Bernie and her date. Swan Lake. Two weeks from...” Alex turns to Bernie for the day.

  
“Saturday.” Bernie huffs.

  
“Saturday! Sound good?” Alex gives Serena her most seductive look and Bernie rolls her eyes.

  
“I'd love to. Here, let me just give you my number and you can send me the details.” Serena lifts what she thinks is Alex's phone and punches in her information. It is in fact Bernie's phone.

  
The other phone on the table rings then, serenading them all with Alex's actual ring tone: Baby Got Back.

  
“Aren't you going to answer your phone, Bern.” Alex slides what is really her phone at the blonde. Apparently ‘Tiffany’ is calling.

  
Bernie fumbles with the call button. “Hello....” She screws her face up waiting for it.

  
“Alex, baby. You never called. Do you want to know what I'm wearing right now...?”

  
“Right, well. Goodbye then. Goodbye!” Bernie jams her finger on the end call key and slams the phone down on the table. Her face is a mixture of totally embarrassed and utterly furious when her eyes meet Alex’s. Not helped by Alex's innocent, wide eyed expression.

  
“Call me.” Serena stands and squeezes Alex's arm gently. She shakes Bernie's hand with a smile, there it was again, like electricity, before returning to the party she was with.

  
“You bet.” Alex winks and beams as she watches the brunette slink away. “Some ass on her too.”

  
Bernie cringes and buries her head in her hands. “Right, put her number in YOUR phone so I can go home and pretend tonight never happened.”

  
“Oh no. You gotta help me, Bern. What if she wants to talk about Swan Lake or those Tiny Women?” Alex bats her eyelashes at the blonde, big hopeful look on her face.

  
“Little Women.” Bernie corrects. “No way. Not a chance. Don't look at me like that. Alex!!” Bernie whines out her name, wondering how she lets her friend do this to her. “What happens if she calls? Obviously she'll know I'm not you.” Bernie tries to reason.

  
“Just stick to texts and I'll do the rest in person.” Alex assures her it's a great idea.

  
“I'm not lying to her. She's too lovely for that, Alex. It's sneaky and unfair. I won't trick her into liking you.” Bernie narrows her eyes, determined that no is her answer.

  
“Just until after the ballet. Then I'll tell her I got a new phone, changed my number.” Alex bargains. “I just want to be sure she turns up, then I'll take it from there.”

  
Bernie reluctantly agrees, two weeks maximum.

  
“You got a deal my friend.” Alex takes back her beer and taps the bottle neck against Bernie's glass. “Exactly how do they dance with all that water anyway?”

  
Bernie’s face scrunches in confusion.

  
“The lake, is it like synchronised swimming or something?” Alex clarifies.

  
Oh boy, Bernie shakes her head. This was going to be a long two weeks....


	2. Chapter 2

“Have you texted her yet?” Alex slinks into Bernie’s office after a tough surgery, clearly only one thing on her mind.

  
Bernie knows exactly who she means and shakes her head as she searches for Mr Jameson's chart in the chaos on her the desk. Bernie knew she was messy but Alex was something else. “Could we maybe at least pretend to have a system here?” Bernie’s hand sweeps over the piles of unsteady paperwork in front of her.

  
“I know where everything is. I only make notes and pass them to you, oh great leader, and then I'm out. This is my system.” Alex smiles and pulls the chart from the heap, to prove her point and infuriate Bernie further. “Text her.”

  
“Give me a minute.” Bernie puts it off again. She really wasn't comfortable with the whole thing.

  
“We both know you have no game but you are meant to be me. I would have texted her by now.” Alex mocks her friend's lack of moves.

  
“And kicked her out of your bed, I'm sure.” The idea of Alex sleeping with Serena didn't sit well for whatever reason, and she didn't want to help her add the lovely brunette to the long list of Alex's conquests. She should never have agreed to this. “You're not going to do what you always do. She's worth more than a one night stand, Alex.” Bernie looks sternly at the brunette.

  
“You wound me.” Alex mock gasps, hand flying to her chest. “You make me sound like some hideous womanizer.”

  
Bernie’s eyes snap up to the brunette with an ‘aren't you?’ look. God knows Bernie had heard about it often enough. A trail of broken hearts and running mascara and weird phone calls from the ‘Tiffanies' of the world just proved it. “Please, promise me. She deserves to be treated well. She’s special.” Bernie whispers the last part, a sad sort of longing in her eyes.

  
“Jeez, ok Casanova. Do you want to date her?” Alex jokes and Bernie shrinks under the possible truth of the suggestion. “I've got to run upstairs for an appendectomy. Text her. Today.” Alex’s final words leave no room for argument.

  
Fine. Bernie lifts her phone and stares at the screen. Could she do this? If Serena ever found out... Bernie had no chance with her anyway she rationalises, so this would make little difference.

  
B: Hello Serena. Just thought I'd send you my number. Swan Lake is 2 weeks tomorrow, 8pm at the Grand Theatre. If you're still free?

  
Bernie presses send and hates herself instantly. Her phone beeps almost right away.

  
S: Hi Alex, I assume? I thought you'd maybe changed your mind. Good to hear from you. Looking forward to it. X

  
Bernie can't do this. As soon as she sees Serena call her ‘Alex', she knows she can't do this. She's just composing a text to explain and apologise when her phone beeps again.

  
S: You've inspired me to dust off my copy of Little Women. Ashamed to admit that I'm crying at the part where Beth gets ill.

  
Bernie smiles at her screen and replies without thinking.

  
B: No shame in that! I cry every time.... x

  
What is she doing? What's with the ‘x'?! End this now, Wolfe. For your sake and hers.

  
S: I knew you were a big softie really! ;-)

  
Bernie is saved from having to reply or trying not too read into what the winky face means by the trauma phone.

  
Alex snatches her phone from her later that day and reads the thread of texts with a frown. “Is this the best you have? You're supposed to be me. Stop being all you! Tell her she has a fantastic...”

  
“Breasts.” Alex finishes.

  
“Eyes.” Bernie breathes out at the same time, thinking fondly of those endlessly deep brown pools. Perfect for getting lost in, that gorgeous rim of amber that flashes around her pupils when she smiles...

  
Alex stares at her and Bernie shakes herself out of her daydream. “Try to be a bit more me from now on. If it ain't broke...” Alex slaps her on the back, thrilled with her own woman snaring prowess.

  
“Do you want to see her before Swan Lake?” Bernie thinks she should at least know what she was working towards, and maybe if Alex saw her in the meantime, she could just give her her real number and end Bernie’s suffering.

  
“Nah. I'm booked out until then.” Alex winks and saunters out of the office.

  
“Alex! You promised... No other woman.” Bernie’s reply floats out the door and onto deaf ears, as Alex waves the notion away.

  
“I won't sleep with them, if that is more palatable to your delicate sensibilities.” She throws over her shoulder. It wasn't. Bernie felt sick and panicky.

  
Serena and Bernie (as Alex) share a string of texts in the following week, including one first thing on the Monday morning before Swan Lake:

  
S: Am I the only one who remembers when coffee was just coffee?

  
This one is tagging a photo of Serena next to a huge list of varieties and flavours on the menu of what must be Holby City’s cafe. A cute perplexed look at her face, as though trying to choose one.

  
Bernie laughs out loud at this while standing at the nurses station, and everyone turns to check if she's lost her mind.

  
B: I know, right?! Double shots of this, caramel swirls of that. Even a regular coffee has to be called an Americano now! :-)

  
S: Strong and hot is all I care about!! ;-)

  
That one leaves Bernie blushing for the rest of the day.

  
In theory Bernie knows she should stop this. It's completely out of hand now. She texts Serena almost constantly and it is always the highlight of her day. But Serena thinks she's Alex... On the other hand, there is a tiny voice in her head telling her that it's the only way she'll ever see Serena again. She has to do it.

  
The night of Swan Lake is all too quickly upon them, and Bernie is fussing over her appearance in the mirror for the thousandth time. Why is she bothering? No one is there to see what she looks like. Serena will only be there to see Alex and God only knew what the date Alex had found for her would turn out like. She had chosen to go simple, classic little black dress. One of very few she owned. Off the shoulder sleeves, reaches her knee and sheer stockings with a small heel. She wore silver, diamante drop earrings with a matching necklace and bracelet. Her bird's nest of blonde curls was swept up into a clip and really not playing fair, as she tries to tame it. Judging by her reflection, her hair was winning. She had applied, removed and reapplied her make-up countless times and she couldn't afford to spend any more time on it. She grabs her grey shawl that matches her shoes and runs out to the taxi, before the driver breaks down her door and drags her out. Trying and failing to breathe normally, she opens the car door with a shaky hand when they reach the theatre. Her other hand isn't much better as she hands off a couple of notes to the cabbie and croaks at him to keep the change.

  
She looks to be the first to arrive and orders a large glass of Shiraz to settle her nerves, swallowing huge gulps of the red liquid with very little decorum.

  
“Not a beer then?” Serena startles her by being next to show up and creeping up to offer the observation in her ear. She spits the wine out in surprise, luckily avoiding any patrons with the spray and only slightly coughing and spluttering. “Sorry, didn't mean to sneak up on you.” Serena pats her back to ease the choking. It doesn't help. “Looks like we're the first one's here.”

  
“Looks like it.” Bernie spins to face the brunette. Big mistake.

  
Serena is wearing a figure hugging dress in a shade that can really only be described as Shiraz red. It's floor length and satin, paired with peep toe silver sandals. Both sets of nails painted to match the dress, of course. Hair and make-up perfect. Hint of cleavage (Alex will be beside herself) and stunning jewellery to set the whole thing off.

  
“You look amazing.” Bernie gasps out before she can stop herself. Never had anyone looked better.

  
“Thanks. Your dress is lovely too.” Serena turns suddenly shy at the compliment.

  
Bernie smoothed down her dress with a small sense of pride. “Thanks. Um, drink?” Bernie points to the bar.

  
“Shiraz.” They say together and giggle as Serena starts to rummage in her purse.

  
“I'll get it.” Bernie smiles and heads off for more wine.

  
Serena catches herself watching Bernie walk away, drawn to the sway of her hips and has to tear her eyes away. Best not to read too much into that.

  
Bernie comes back over with a glass in each hand, clutch tucked under her arm, as Alex makes her entrance in a three piece tux, undone bow tie around her neck. Bernie had almost forgotten her.

  
“Woah. You are smoking hot.” She looks Serena up and down. Predatory is the only way to describe it.

  
Serena bristles slightly, finds that she much preferred Bernie’s appraisal and looks. “Hm.” Is all she says.

  
“Bern. This is Sian. Your date.” Alex steps aside and this Sian swoops in.

  
“Hello there, Bernie.” Sian offers her hand to the blonde with a salacious grin. “Alex has told me all about you.”

  
“Really? She's never mentioned you.” Serena spits her wine back into her glass, stifling a laugh at Bernie's cutting remark.

  
“Do you like my breasts?” Sian isn't for being deterred. It's Bernie’s turn to lose her wine.

  
“Oh, well I... yes they seem fine.” Bernie looks anywhere but at them, burning with shame.

  
“Fake. Touch them if you like.” Sian moves towards the blonde.

  
“I really think I'd rather not.” Bernie backs away, absolutely terrified.

  
“I insist.” Sian’s eyes shine with flirtatious mirth.

  
“I'm fine, honestly. I...” Bernie catches Alex laughing at her and tries to signal at her to help her. She has nowhere left to go, as she has backed right into a wall, Sian is literally pinning her to it with her bosom. Bernie leans as far into the wall as she can and keeps her hands rigid by her side. She actually closes her eyes, as if that might make it stop.

  
“Spoilsport.” Sian swaggers away. “Check out my ass. It's almost as good.” She winks at the blonde over her shoulder and makes her way to the bar.

  
“Do you really hate me this much?” Bernie turns to Alex. Serena’s gaze flicks between the two friends.

  
“What? She's fun, I thought she could liven things up a bit for you.” Alex looks decidedly smug.

  
“I'm going home. That woman is crazy. I can't do this anymore, Alex. You're on your own.” Bernie is sweating and nauseous and she thinks she might cry.

  
“No, Bern. I'll talk to her. She'll tone it down. Cross my heart.” Alex knows she needs Bernie to explain this stupid ballet to her so she won't look like a complete moron in front of Serena.

  
“Are you ok?” Serena looks concerned when Alex leaves them to reign Sian in.

  
“I'm not very good at the whole dating thing. I get all flustered and women don't really find my whole socially inept thing particularly attractive.” Bernie says too much.

  
“Sian seems to be taken with you.” Serena jokes, but there's an edge of something like jealousy, that she surprises herself with.

  
“Not really sure that's a good thing. She's not my type. I think I might just go now before she comes back.” Bernie doesn't seem to notice Serena’s tone and tries to leave again.

  
“I'd like it if you stayed.” Serena has no idea why she says that. Bernie neither, if her shocked expression was anything to go by.

  
“Um, I....well I....” Bernie never gets to finish the thought because the five minute warning is announced and they all head to their seats.

  
Somehow Serena and Bernie end up seated together in the middle, with their dates either side of them. Sian only tries to put her hand up Bernie's dress once. What the blonde doesn't know is that it's a Serena Campbell death stare that halts all further attempts.

  
The only thing Bernie loves watching more than Swan Lake, is watching Serena watch it. She is so taken in by everything happening on stage, eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas and Bernie has never seen anything more beautiful. She notes Alex is fast asleep on the other side of Serena. Typical.

  
Sian gets a little handsy again in the interval and Bernie excuses herself sharpish to go to the bathroom. She leans her weight against the door once she's inside, sighing in relief that Sian didn't follow her.

  
“Not be seeing her again I take it?” Bernie jumps when Serena comes out of a stall to wash her hands and catches her hiding.

  
“She really is just too.... everything for me I think. Not my cup of tea.” Bernie runs the tap and lets the cold water run over the insides of her wrists, soothing her constant blush from this evening. “How are you enjoying the show?” She smiles at Serena in the mirror.

  
“It's spectacular.” She replies.

  
“First time?” Bernie asks and Serena nods.

  
“I remember the first time I came to see it. My grandmother brought me for my 8th birthday. I've loved it ever since. We go every year, my parents, my brother and I. Wish she was still here to share it with me. She was always so enthusiastic and she would always buy me a programme and somehow get all of the dancers to sign it. Never did figure out how she managed it.” Bernie realises she's rambling. “Sorry, got carried away there. We should get back.” She dries off her hands and misses Serena's fond smile entirely as she dashes out ahead of her.

  
Alex sleeps through most of the second half too but Serena doesn't notice. She's too busy grabbing onto Bernie's hand for dear life as they reach the climax of the piece. Her cheeks are soaked with tears by the end and she hasn't let go of Bernie, even as the lights go back up.

  
“Wow. That was so beautiful.” She breathes as she turns to Bernie, rubbing away the tears. “Sorry.” She offers a sad laugh at her current emotional state.

  
“It's alright. I cry every time.” Bernie squeezes her hand, her own eyes wet with unshed tears. Serena remembers Alex said those exact words about Little Women...

  
“Who's up for drinks?” Alex breaks the mood in usual Alex fashion, forcing the women to drop hands.

  
“I think I'll call it a night, Al.” Bernie declines and Sian sulks.

  
“Me too.” Serena stands to head off in search of a cab home.

  
“Let's do dinner one night next week.” Alex asks Serena.

  
“Ok.” Serena agrees but a tad unenthusiastically.

  
Alex catches Bernie on the way past. “Arrange it for any night but Thursday.”

  
“Oh no. We agreed, after tonight no more. You give her your real number.” Bernie tries to keep moving.

  
“Please Bern. I really like this one and your texts must be working. She could be it. Like you said, stop my philandering ways, settle down. You know, like the one.” Alex pleads with her friend.

  
As Bernie watches Serena retreat through the crowd, her expression turns crestfallen as she remembers she has no chance. “Very much The One.” She has to turn her head away then, can't look at Serena.

  
Bernie is just lying in bed, staring gloomily at the ceiling when her phone goes off.

  
S: Thank you for tonight. The ballet was wonderful. X

  
B: It was my all-time favourite performance, sharing it with you. It will be almost as good with my family again tomorrow. X

  
Bernie smiles widely and sends it without thinking. Serena frowns as she seems to remember Alex sleeping through most of it, not sure why she'd want to go again. She thought it was Bernie who always went with her family...

  
B: So dinner? Any night but Thursday. X

  
Bernie wishes that she could send that as her. She resigns herself to knowing that Serena would never want to have dinner with someone like her and vows to put an end to this soon. It was bad enough knowing that she would end up with Alex, without helping it along.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena suggests Tuesday night for dinner, she was working late most of the other nights. They'd decided on 7.30pm at a little Italian restaurant in the centre, handy to both hospitals if either were forced to head in straight from work.

  
“Hey, Bern. Bit of a blip for tonight. I can't be there until maybe 8.30pm.” Alex drops that particular bombshell at 7.15pm, just as their shift finishes and starts to walk away.

  
“Hang on! Shall I tell Serena you're running late, you'll meet her at 8.30pm instead?” Bernie chases after her.

  
“Might be best if you entertain her until I get there. Not sure how long I'll be for definite.” Alex throws out, barely slowing down.

  
“What? You're not serious?” Bernie must have picked her up wrongly. “Where are you going to be? Please don't tell me you've arranged two dates on the one night.”

  
“Ok, I won't tell you.” Alex grins and grabs Bernie by the upper arms. “Thanks. You're a pal.”

  
“Stop!” Bernie bellows as Alex walks off again. She spins back to the blonde. “You can't do this to her. She’s great and you're treating her terribly. You need to pick one date and go on it.” Bernie says with more authority than she feels.

  
“Bern, it's not another date. I swear. Something came up and I just can't be there by 7.30pm. You'd really be helping me out if you keep Serena sweet until I get there.” Bernie can't tell if she's being played or not, but seeing Serena again would be worth it.

  
“Alright.” She relents. “I'll text her and make sure she doesn't mind though.”

  
B: I know this is a bit unusual, but I'm running late for tonight. Something unavoidable has come up and not sure how long it will take me. Would you mind if I send Bernie down to keep you company until I can get to you?

  
Bernie isn't sure which answer will be worse, as she holds her breath and waits. If she says ‘yes’ what does that mean? Bernie could work out rather easily what it meant if she said ‘no’.

  
S: I've just arrived. This is a nice place. Send her on ahead! ;-)

  
Serena can't deny that she really doesn't mind the thought of seeing Bernie again.

  
Bernie runs all the way to her locker and throws her own clothes back on. She tries to flatten down her hair, static causing it to stick out in all directions, in her haste she hadn't even bothered to unbutton the dress shirt she was wearing now.

  
She speeds out of the car park and stops at a local shop to pick up some flowers: white roses, Serena’s favourite. She enters the restaurant, breathless and heart beating wildly at 7.45pm.

  
Serena spots her and waves her over to the table with a smile. “Hello again.” She seems genuinely happy to see Bernie and the blonde's resulting smile almost splits her face in two.

  
“Sorry, I know this is a bit unorthodox. Alex only sprung it on me half an hour ago. I hope you don't mind being stuck with my company, until she turns up.” Bernie huffs out as she sits down. “Oh here. They're your favourite, right?” Bernie passes over the bouquet. She remembers this isn't their date and suddenly adds. “An apology from Alex.”

  
Serena smiles and accepts the flowers, not entirely convinced that Alex has any idea what her favourite flowers are. She had mentioned that when she was sure Alex was snoring through the second half of Swan Lake. “Thank you. They're beautiful.” Serena smells them and strokes them affectionately, while Bernie smiles at her choice. She'd buy any amount of them just to make the brunette smile like that again. “Great choice of restaurant. This seems lovely.” Serena smiles at their surroundings.

  
“I thought you would like it....I mean, Alex did. She thought you would. How was your day?” Bernie asks as she signals to the waiter for a glass of whatever Serena was drinking, Shiraz no doubt.

  
“Converted you from beer then?” Serena looks at the blonde, not sure now if she ever drank beer in the first place.

 

“Hm, we could share a bottle if you like? This is good.” Bernie smacks her lips together appreciatively at the first sip.

  
“I'm driving.” Serena turns down the offer and Bernie feels awful and remembers she wasn't here to spend the whole evening anyway.

  
“Oh yeah you're right. Me too. I guess I'll be going soon anyway.” Bernie starts to fidget and can't look at Serena.

  
“My day was ok. Long and tiring, like most days. But it's picking up.” Serena catches Bernie's eye with a quirked eyebrow.

  
“Yeah, Alex will be here soon I suppose.” Bernie misunderstands her completely. “Do you want to order food or wait for her?”

  
Serena shakes her head at the blonde's lack of self confidence. “We could start without her. I'm starving and we don't know how long she'll be.”

  
“Alright. What do you fancy?” Bernie buries her head in the menu and doesn't catch Serena's expression.

  
“I wonder.” Serena sighs and turns to her own menu. “Did you enjoy your second viewing of Swan Lake? You must have bumped into Alex and her family.” She wants to test a thought.

  
“She barely stayed awake for the first one....” Bernie twigs suddenly what she'd done. “...but you'll have to ask her how it was. We didn't see her.” She'd have to let Alex know she supposedly saw it twice.

  
Serena narrows her eyes at the blonde, it wasn't possible. Was it? “Maybe I should text her. See where she is.”

  
Bernie almost falls off her seat. “Oh well, why don't you order for us. Carbonara for me, please. I'll just go and call her. Be right back.” She scurries outside and fires Alex a text.

  
B: Where the hell are you? If Serena asks later, you took your family to see Swan Lake again on Sunday.

  
“No answer. I'm sure she'll be here soon.” Bernie sits just as the food appears. “Oh good, I could eat a horse!” Bernie fills her mouth with pasta, hoping Serena will follow suit and not bring up contacting Alex again. If she did text or call her, she could just say she must have lifted Alex's phone by mistake.... Christ, this was complicated!

  
“How did you become friends with Alex? You don't seem very similar, if you don't mind my saying?” Serena likes Bernie better.

  
“Oh, um we just stumbled upon each other, you might say.” Bernie replies, not really an answer.

  
“I feel a story there somewhere.” Serena points her fork at Bernie, prompting for more.

  
“We went to med school together. Our first night, Alex took a shine to my roommate. Climbed into what she thought was her bed. Butt naked. It was my bed.” Bernie tells the brunette.

  
“No!” Serena laughs so hard she almost chokes on her lasagne.

  
“On my honour. She scared the shit out of me. And the roommate actually.” Bernie finishes and chuckles too. “She never did agree to go out with Alex.”

  
“But you two were never...” Serena raises an eyebrow in question.

  
“No. Nothing like that. She's my friend, that's all. Though most of the time that's more than enough.” Bernie quips. “Oh shit, sorry. She's your date, I should be bigging her up. Don't tell her.” Bernie smiles awkwardly and tucks back into her carbonara.

  
“My lips are sealed.” Serena returns the smile and watches Bernie for the rest of the meal. She was so much quieter and softer than Alex. In person anyway. The texts from Alex were still a mystery. She was undeniably beautiful but she had no clue how nice she was. Devastatingly attractive if Serena was honest. “So have you heard from Sian since Saturday?”

  
“God no! Perish the thought. That woman would be the death of far braver than me.” Bernie answers quickly and goes back to eating.

  
“You don't go on many dates?” Serena asks.

  
“Not really. I've been on a few dates and had some serious relationships but mostly I'm useless on dates.” Bernie shrugs as if it was obvious.

  
“You're doing fine right now.” Serena says without thinking.

  
“Well, this isn't a date. I'm just a distraction until Alex arrives.” Bernie looks up shyly before pushing her empty plate away. “I'll just go use the bathroom.” She stands up and strides away from the table. Serena watches her go and wants to follow her, tell her that she's not just a distraction, that this was the best non-date she'd ever been on, but Alex turns up then.

  
“Hey babe. Where's Bernie?” Alex takes the blonde's seat. Serena hates being called ‘babe’.

  
“Bathroom.” Serena suddenly loses her appetite.

  
“No worries. I'll just grab something and maybe we can go back to mine for coffee.” Alex winks and calls the waiter over.

  
“Hey, Al. Guess I'll leave you to your date now.” Bernie waves and goes to leave.

  
“Thanks for warming her up for me, Bern. Hope I didn't keep you from anything too exciting.” Alex knows full well that the last thing Bernie's life could be called was ‘exciting’, if the small, derisive laugh says anything.

  
“No. You know you didn't...” Bernie looks forlornly at her shoes, flushed with shame that Serena now knows just how sad she is. She turns to go.

  
Serena grabs her by the wrist to keep her there. “Don't you want to stay? For dessert.”

  
“Oh I think we can whip up our own dessert back at mine.” Alex suggests, fixes Serena with a loaded look.

  
Bernie jabs her hands into her pockets and says her goodbyes. She couldn't stand here anymore listening to Alex's advances, watching her drool over Serena. “Here...” She throws some money down for the food. “...enjoy your night.” Her voice barely holds to get the words out.

  
“We will.” Alex strokes the back of Serena's hand and grins at the thought.

  
“Bye.” Bernie turns and runs, actually runs, out towards her car. When she gets there, she sits behind the wheel, fuming. “God dammit!” She hammers the steering wheel and tries to keep it together. Serena would be sleeping with Alex tonight and Bernie would have to forget her. She resolves to do just that as she sits staring at the restaurant, tears in her eyes. She could go back in, but no matter how much she wants to, she knows it's not what Serena wants. She wants Alex. Bernie was a lot of things, but nothing like Alex...

  
Serena smiles and tries to remain pleasant, but the more Alex says, the more she is starting to think that she isn't the woman from the texts. Even if she insists she was at the second performance of Swan Lake.

  
“Back to mine?” Alex pays the remainder of the bill.

  
“I'm tired. Maybe some other time. I'm just...I have to go. Thanks for dinner.” Serena fobs her off and rushes out to the car park, maybe she could catch Bernie. She was gone by the time Serena got outside.


	4. Chapter 4

“You're doing something wrong.” Alex doesn't even bother with ‘hello’ when Bernie picks up.

“Excuse me?” Bernie wasn't sure Alex had even meant to call her. She was having dessert with Serena by now surely.

“The texting needs to ratchet up a notch. She's not as compliant as she might be. Up your game, Wolfe!” Alex barks down the line.

“She turned you down...” Bernie couldn't decide if the overarching feeling was relief or a tiny glimmer of hope. “So the mythical creature that's immune to Alex Dawson’s powers does exist.”

“She didn't turn me down, she just needs more time, a gentle nudge in the right direction. It must be you. I'm amazing in person, it's the texts. Sort it out.” Bernie wants to point out the numerous flaws in that logic but Alex is talking again. “Ask her to have coffee with me at the hospital. Lunchtime tomorrow.” She hangs up then, leaving Bernie to stare at her phone. Alex was rattled, Serena wasn't falling at her feet and it was driving her crazy. No woman had ever said ‘no' to Alex in all the time they'd been friends (except Bernie’s first roommate). What did that mean? It could just mean she wasn't attracted to Alex. Rare, but the law of averages said it had to happen eventually. It wouldn't have anything to do with Bernie. Would it?

B: Are you free for coffee/lunch tomorrow at St James'?

S: Depends... Do they have as extensive a coffee list as at Pulses? ;-)

Bernie smiles at the shared joke.

B: Worse possibly! :-)

S: That I'd like to see!!

B: Say 1.15pn. Bernie's office is on the ground floor, Ward 3. I'll meet you there.

Serena can't stop herself from asking:

S: Will she be joining us? :-)

Bernie’s heart leaps against her ribs. Did Serena want her there?

B: Not sure. She might be free...

Bernie would see how she felt about sitting and watching Alex in flirt mode before she made up her mind.

S: Cu tomorrow. Goodnight x

B: Goodnight Serena x

Bernie’s morning had been full of tricky surgeries and now she has just managed to clean her desk up of Alex's mess and glanced up to see it's 1.10pm when Serena knocks.

“Come in.” She calls around the sandwich stuffed into her mouth.

“Oh. Aren't you coming for lunch?” Serena tries not to sound disappointed when she sees that Bernie is already eating hers.

“Um...” Bernie chews frantically and tries to swallow the mouthful before she answers. “...you guys don't want me crashing all of your dates.” She grabs her phone from the desk and stuffs it into her scrub pocket. “I'm due in theatre soon anyway.” Lies, all lies! She had an elective scheduled for 2pm so she had plenty of time. She just had decided that she really couldn't stomach playing gooseberry, while Alex tried to convince Serena to sleep with her. “Alex will be here any minute.” She sits heavily in her chair and concentrates on her sandwich.

“Right. Great.” Serena stands awkwardly waiting for the woman she didn't want to have lunch with, while the one with whom she did, wouldn't even look at her.

“Take a seat. If you like.” Bernie gestures at the chairs beside her desk without looking up from her lunch.  
Bernie’s phone rings then. Swan Lake. She reaches it out of her pocket and then realises. “Alex must have left it here. I was just minding it for her...” She can feel her face, her whole body blush and she's sure Serena can see it.

“Really?” Serena crosses her arms over her chest and raises both eyebrows at the blonde.

Bernie is saved from having to answer by Alex.

“Hey! You came! Great. Let's go. See ya at 2pm for that laparotomy, Bern.” Alex sweeps Serena towards the door.

“Aren't you forgetting your phone?” Serena indicates the mobile now on Bernie's desk and notes the look of confusion on Alex's face.

“You left it here earlier.” Bernie has to give Alex her phone.

“Oh yes! Of course. Wondered where that was...” Alex takes it and shoves it into her scrubs.

“If you have nothing else on, maybe you could have a quick coffee with us. I'm dying to see how many ways they have of calling it something other than just plain coffee.” Serena looks to Bernie who half laughs before she can catch herself. Alex seems to have no idea about the joke.

“Right, well whoever's coming... I'm hungry!” Alex pulls Serena out of the office and towards the cafe.

Serena watches Bernie over her shoulder drag along behind them. She smiles when she sees that she's joining them after all.

“You know who can't stop talking about you?” Alex shoulder bumps Bernie as soon as they're all seated. “Sian. Been bending my ear something shocking since the ballet. I could give her your number...”

“No!” Bernie says a little too forcefully and shrinks back into her chair. “I'd rather you didn't. Please.” She inhales the rest of her coffee and stands to leave. “I'll leave you to it.” Bernie offers the pair a tight, closed lipped smile and starts to move.

“You know, we should do something. The four of us. Like a double date.” Alex suggests as Bernie crushes her coffee cup violently in her hand. “What do you say? Drinks? Friday night?” She looks between Bernie and Serena, thinking she's come up with a cracker this time.

“Al, I really don't think -” Bernie tries to back out of it.

“Lighten up, Bern. What else are you doing?” Alex challenges as Bernie glares at her.

“I'm not interested in Sian, Alex. And we both know she's not interested in me. Not really.” Bernie replies sadly.

“Come, Bern. Please. Serena, you'll come yeah?” Alex runs the outside of her pointer finger along the brunette's arm and Bernie tenses.

“Sure, why not? Bernie can tell me more hilarious stories about your time in med school.” Serena winks at the blonde and Bernie's heart skips a beat.

“You told her how we met didn’t you?” Alex can't believe it.

“Might have done.” Bernie's smile is aimed entirely at Serena then.

“Right, I need to be heading back. Thanks for lunch.” Serena nods to Alex. “I'll see you on Friday.” Serena beams with a glint in her eye, never once taking her eyes off Bernie.

Bernie seems destined to always arrive first to these things she thinks, as she grabs a Shiraz and nabs a four seat table in the bar on Friday night. She figures she has some time, so she digs her book out of her satchel and starts to read while she waits.

“You always sit alone in bars reading...” Serena tips the book up so she can see the title. “...Little Women?” She knows she has her now, Bernie can't deny it anymore.

“Oh it's Alex’s copy. She let me borrow it since I've never read it before.” Bernie slips the book back into her bag. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Serena takes the seat next to Bernie.

“Can I get you a drink? Shiraz right?” As if she has to ask. Bernie scurries off to the bar and Serena watches her go.

“Thank you.” She smiles brightly up at Bernie as she puts the glass down for her. “Looking forward to seeing Sian again?”

“Would you be?” Bernie laughs and Serena concedes that she would not. “So how about you? You and Alex seem to be getting on.”

Serena really doesn't know how to answer that. Luckily she doesn't have to because the other two show up.

“Hello again, hot stuff.” Sian plonks herself down beside Bernie. “I do like the strong, silent type. Under all that shyness, I can just tell you're amazing in bed.” She slides her hand up the inside of Bernie's thigh. Bernie jumps up away from her with a yelp, fighting to get her to keep her hands to herself.

“Drinks? Sian, Alex? I'll get these.” Bernie's voice is high pitched and strained. She takes their drinks order and scampers off to fetch them.

“She's a hard nut to crack but I like the challenge. Playing hard to get is so sexy...” Sian's eyes rake over the blonde as she leans against the bar, waiting to be served. If Bernie catches her eye when she looks over, she turns back fast enough to get whiplash, afraid what might happen if she looks straight at Sian for any extended amount of time.

“I'll go help her.” Serena offers, standing to follow in Bernie's footsteps.

“Is she looking? Please tell me she's not looking.” Bernie hides behind one hand.

“She's looking. I'm surprised you can't feel the heat from that stare on your back.” Serena quips, but she still can't shake her jealousy. Bernie wasn't one bit attracted to Sian, so what was the problem?

“You should get back to Alex. I've got this. Don't let me ruin your date.” Bernie smiles and turns to give the barman her order.

“I'm fine right here.” Serena squeezed Bernie's forearm gently before coming to her senses. “Besides, too much time spent with Sian and she might start hitting on me.” She lets her hand slip away from Bernie, clearing her throat, she tries not to think about how it feels every time they touch. Like being electrocuted but in the best way.

They all settle in after a few drinks, then Sian squeals with glee when a DJ starts up and people head off to dance. “Dance with me, cutie.” She turns to Bernie, who looks as though she may as well have requested that Bernie shoot her to the moon.

“I don't dance.” Bernie looks petrified.

“Awwww, please.” Sian pouts, knowing that usually works to get what she wants.

Bernie’s expression remains stoically blank as she repeats. “I don't dance.”

“I'll dance with you.” Alex doesn't mind dancing with the buxom blonde in the slightest.

“I'd like to dance.” Serena whispers to the blonde as they watch the other two.

“You would? I'm really not very good. I might step on your toes.” Bernie explains.

“I'll take my chances.” Serena links hands with Bernie and leads them on to the dance floor.

Just as they reach the floor, the DJ puts on a slow song.

“Oh, well I guess we can sit back down now. Or I could get Alex. She'll dance with you.” Serena only holds on more tightly to the blonde's hand as she tries to pull away.

“Dance with me.” Serena places Bernie's hand on her waist and brings the other hand up to match it on the other side. She loops her own arms around Bernie's neck and holds her close. “Maybe you can help me with something. A mystery of sorts.”

“Hmm?” Bernie tries to concentrate on her dancing.

“Why is Alex not the same in person? The Alex I meet and the one who texts me. They could almost be different women.” Serena waits for Bernie to take in what she's said and look up. “I prefer the one who texts me.”

Bernie says nothing, just watches their feet the whole time after that, trying not to cripple the brunette with her clumsy dance moves.

“Relax, it's meant to be fun. Aren't you having fun, dancing with me?” Serena encourages the blonde to look at her and not the ground.

Bernie is lost in Serena then. The warmth of her body pressed against hers. The feel of her under Bernie's hands, as she tries desperately not to gently stroke at the brunette's waist with her fingertips. The smell of her perfume, so completely intoxicating. The soft glow that just seems to exist all around her. Her beautiful face, her eyes, her smile. Just all of her. Bernie needs to tell her the truth, wants to kiss her. “Serena, I-” 

“Dancing with my girl, eh Bern?” Alex shatters the illusion then.

“No, I... I would never... I was just...” Bernie backs away then, suddenly aware of what she was doing. What she had been about to do, if Alex hadn't interrupted.

Serena sees the look on Bernie's face and she knows what it means. She sees that Bernie wants her too, but she's noble, too good a friend to do that to Alex. Serena was falling for her and Bernie would never do anything about their feelings.

Bernie makes her excuses and leaves after that. Rushing outside, she fights to push air back into her lungs. She needed to stop this now. She could not fall in love with her best friend's girl. Trouble was, she already had...


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not sure about this one. Got a bit long but takes me where we're going so...

“Alex isn't here, I'm afraid.” The last person Bernie had expected to knock on her office door after a hellish day was Serena Campbell. “She's not on the rota for today.” The blonde finishes up what she was working on and gets ready to go home. She hasn't texted Serena since that night in the bar, as either herself or Alex. Serena hadn't contacted ‘Alex’ either. Bernie didn't know how she felt about that, she knew the brunette had her suspicions, but couldn't be certain if she knew who was really texting her all that time. “Right, that's me. I can tell Alex you were looking for her....” Bernie just wants to get changed and leave.

“Couldn't I just text her if it was her I was after?" Serena's voice is harsh, sharp and Bernie hadn't looked at her until now. She'd been crying.

“Serena. What's wrong?” Bernie wants to reach out to her, wrap her up in her arms, keep her safe. She doesn't dare. “Did Alex do something to you?” Bernie clenches her fist, ready to take on whoever had hurt Serena. She knew Alex could be pushy but she wouldn't...

“Can we please go 5 minutes without mentioning Alex bloody Dawson?!” Serena snaps.

“Alright, ok. We can do that. Please, tell me why you're upset.” Bernie’s face is so soft, so caring that it only makes Serena cry again.

“Bad day.” She sobs out. “I just wanted to see... to see...” Serena breaks off as she weeps into her hands.

“Alex?” Bernie chances. “Why don't I call her for you?”

“Not Alex! You!” Serena shouts at the infuriatingly blind, totally wonderful woman in front of her.

“Me?” Bernie stutters out. “Right... Let me just go change. I have ice cream and silly movies at home. What do you say?” Bernie smiles warmly at the brunette.

“Yes please.” Serena cries a bit more and nods her head.

“Do you want to sit for a minute? I won't be long.” Bernie guides her gently to sit and sets her box of tissues on the chair beside her for good measure.

Serena seems a little calmer when she returns. “Did you drive here? Do you want to follow me in your car or I can give you a lift?” Bernie keeps her voice low and even, trying not to upset Serena any further.

“I can drive.” Serena sniffles and takes a few tissues from the box just in case.

Bernie walked her out to her car and ran off to bring hers round, so that the brunette could follow her home.

Serena tried to work out what she would say to the blonde as she drove. It had been a snap decision to come see her, but she supposed they really didn't know each other that well. Why had she ended up seeking out Bernie? How did she feel about her being the one who was really texting her? Relieved that it wasn't Alex if she was honest with herself. But Bernie had tricked her, hadn't she? It was a lie. That didn't seem to matter somehow...

Bernie pulled up in front of a small end terrace and Serena slides into the space behind.

“Can I get you a drink?” Bernie holds the front door open for Serena to go on ahead. “Tea? Coffee?”

“What kind of coffee?” Serena seems in better form as she jokes.

“The regular kind.” Bernie calls over her shoulder as she searches the kitchen cupboards for everything she needs. “I might have some decaf, but that's as fancy as it gets.”

Serena smiles and asks for decaf. Milk, no sugar. “I'm sorry for earlier.” She looks a little shy and embarrassed.

“It's ok, bad days happen. We can talk about it, if you want. Or we can just talk about something else if you want.” Bernie gives Serena’s hand a tiny squeeze on her way to the kettle.

“Tough surgery. Lost a child.” Is all Serena will tell her.

“Never gets easier.” Bernie fills the kettle at the sink and then puts it in the stand, flicking it on. “It's always harder when it's someone young. I know you probably hear this from everyone, but I'm sure you did everything you could.” There's not much else she can say really.

Bernie pours them a cup each of decaf and points out the living room. Setting both cups on the coffee table, she tucks one leg under herself as she sits on the sofa. “Make yourself at home, please.” Bernie smiles up at Serena who promptly slumps into the space right beside her.

“I suppose you're wondering why I'm here. Can't say I haven't wondered that myself.” Serena sips her coffee and then sets it back down, shifting on the sofa so that she is more face on with the blonde.

“I don't understand.” Bernie’s forehead crinkles with confusion.

Serena takes her phone out of her bag and seems to scroll through it looking for something. After a moment, Bernie's phone starts to ring in her pocket and she fumbles to grab it. Serena turns her phone around to show that she's calling ‘Alex’. She puts her free hand out for Bernie's phone and the blonde reluctantly hands it over, still ringing. It very clearly says ‘Serena’ on her screen and the screensaver is a picture of Bernie and her family from Christmas just past.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Serena asks quietly.

“I... I... I wanted to. That first night at the bar... I tried to just get Alex to take your number, but she said that she just needed me to chat to you about the ballet, because she didn't know anything about it. She swore she would tell you that night at Swan Lake. I didn't want to trick you. I only wanted to help Alex make it seem like you had more in common. I just figured that she would win you over in person and that would be the end of it. I'm so sorry I lied. I felt terrible doing it, not that that makes it better. I tried to tell you so many times but I didn't know what to say.” Bernie stands up and strides back into the kitchen.

Serena follows her in. “Bernie?”

“She says she really likes you. I just wanted to be a good friend...” Bernie slumps against the countertop, leaning on her hands. “I'm sorry.”

“What if I wasn’t interested in Alex -” Serena hazards.

“Oh no, please don’t say that. This is my fault. I should have said ‘no’ to begin with. She's an acquired taste for sure but she tries to be a good person. She thinks you're the one. She'll never forgive me for telling you the truth.” Bernie looks desolate. “Just give her a chance. She promised me that she wouldn't mess you around.”

“You're a good friend, Bernie. A good person. The reason I'm not interested in Alex is because I want the woman who sent me all those texts.” Serena steps toe to toe with the blonde and holds eye contact.

“Serena, I... you don't really want me. I'm not bubbly or outgoing like Alex. I'm not dating material. Ask anyone. Ask Alex! She's much better with all the flirting and the excitement. I'm just weird and... Give Alex some time. You'll see that I'm nothing special.” Bernie never once looks up at the brunette.

“Bernie -” Serena tries to make her see.

“No. I'm the one who sits alone reading books in bars, who doesn't dance, who women like Sian, even Alex sometimes, make fun of. I know she only flirts with me because she knows I get uncomfortable and flustered. I'm entertainment, not somebody's girlfriend. I'm the one who doesn't end up with someone like you. It's Alex you want.” Bernie starts to rinse through her cup, anything to do but look at Serena.

“No it isn't.” Serena won't stand for Bernie talking about herself like that. “Would Alex know my favourite flowers, never mind buy them for me, just to make me smile? Would she hold my hand while I cry at Swan Lake for the first time and not laugh at me? Would she dance with me even though she was scared of doing it wrong? Would she drink beer when she hated it or drop everything to sit with her friend's date just to keep her company, make her laugh? I care about those things, Bernie. That's what I want.”

“It was just a few texts, Serena. Let's not pretend that you wouldn't get bored of me in person. I have nothing to offer a woman like you.” Bernie sighs and tidies away the cup.

“And you think Alex does?! She only wants to sleep with me because I turned her down. You think I don't know she was probably shagging someone else that night and that's why she was late? I'm sure she's perfect for someone, but not for me.”

“And you think I'm any better?! I helped her!!” Bernie cries in the space.

“You were trying to be her friend. You wanted to believe she would hurt me.” Serena brushes her hand over Bernie's arm. “It doesn't feel like that when anyone else touches me. Don't you feel it too?”

"I can't think about anything but touching you. We can't do this, Serena. Please don't ask me.” Bernie walks off, she has to get away from her.

“Why not?” Serena’s voice is laced with hurt and disappointment.

“Because she's my best friend! I was meant to be helping her, not falling in love with you!” Bernie wishes as soon as she's said it that she could take it back.

Serena stands speechless for about half a second. And then she's on Bernie. Kissing her. Hard but soft at the same time. Hungry but tender. Certain that this is what she wants, but unsure if she will survive kissing Bernie Wolfe. Or more precisely, survive being kissed by her. She wonders why more women haven't thought of doing this. Idiots, every single one. She will be eternally gratefully for their stupidity. Because here she is being kissed to within an inch of her life and it is fucking amazing. Her hands are lost somewhere in those ridiculous curls and Bernie has her by the waist and is quite possibly sucking her very soul out through her mouth. Serena will give it to her if she wants it, as long as she keeps up the kissing. But then she considers that maybe she could kiss her other places and moans into Bernie's mouth at the thought.

Bernie will never be able to forget what kissing Serena is like. She vaguely wonders if she could describe the taste, the texture, all the accompanying sensations. Nothing could have prepared her for the sheer perfection of it all. If someone tried to convince her that she'd never been kissed before, she'd probably believe them. This could easily be her first kiss, her only kiss, nothing before it truly existed, nothing after it will matter. Except maybe doing it again. Her life now would just be filling time between getting to kiss Serena again. There is a tiny niggle that wonders if Serena is enjoying this as much as she is, but she can't really bring herself to care. She'd have to stop to ask her. There was nothing in the world that could make her stop now. Well, maybe just to relocate the kisses elsewhere on Serena’s delicious body.

Without thinking, she lifts Serena and carries her upstairs. Time to discover what kissing other parts was like. If it was anything like this, Bernie would die one happy woman.

Serena gets a thrill from knowing that Bernie can carry her. Is carrying her. Oh God, she hopes they're going to Bernie’s bedroom. That idea makes every part of her hum with excitement.

Bernie smiles into another kiss as she feels Serena shiver in her arms. Knowing that she is anything but cold. There is something undeniably arousing about causing this woman to shiver with anticipation.

They fall through the bedroom door and onto the bed. Bernie smiles down at the woman of her dreams. In her bed. “Holy shit.” She can't imagine what she did to get here and the moment hits her full force.

“What's wrong?” Serena sees something pass over the blonde's features.

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Bernie tries to calm her nerves by kissing Serena again, but she has to pull back. Serena searches her face for clues as to what was going on in that head of hers.

“Tell me.” Serena quietly requests, tenderly stroking her face with the backs of her fingers.

“I haven't done this for a while. Quite a long while. I can't say I was ever an expert. Alex on the other hand -”

“No. No. Please don't talk about Alex now.” Serena pushes up to sit on the edge of the mattress.

Bernie panics. Shit, she'd ruined it. She knew she would...

Serena stands up and undresses both her and Bernie before pulling them back on to the covers.

“I don't want Alex.” Serena kisses the tips of the fingers on Bernie's right hand, then slowly drags the hand straight down the middle of her body. “You do this to me.” Bernie gasps when she reaches Serena's wetness, eyes snapping up to meet Serena's. “Just you. No one else.” Serena’s voice catches as the digits begin to explore unguided now. “I only want you...” Serena arches her back, another one of those irresistible shivers takes over as her body becomes covered in goosebumps. “...BERNIE!!” She is lost completely when the blonde enters her.

Bernie beams at the look on Serena’s face. She put it there. She can do this, she will do this, just to keep that look aimed at her. “Serena...” She breaths the brunette’s own name against the warm flesh under her lips. Taking a firm nipple into her mouth, she sucks in time with her thrusts in and out of Serena. “You feel so good...” she releases the nipple to move to the other one “...in my mouth...” she devours the other nipple, tracing the area with her tongue “....underneath me....” she brings her hand up to attend to the nipple she had just left, grinding her hips down into the brunette “...around my fingers...” Serena is left reeling when she curls said fingers inside her, hitting the magic spot perfectly.

“Bernie... please... I need you...” Serena knows she sounds desperate. She bloody well is. Bernie had made it sound like she was bad at this. Fucking liar. “You are going to make me come. I can't... please Bernie... I have to come.” Serena has never had anyone do this to her. Fuck, it's amazing!

“Come then.” Bernie smirks and pushes her over the edge with such force that Serena can barely breathe.

“Bernie...” Serena can only whisper the name, as her body is too busy enjoying the earth shattering orgasm to allow for something as unimportant as oxygen intake. Bernie slows everything down when she knows Serena needs her to. Seeing her through the slowest, longest, deepest release she has ever experienced.

Serena is a mess when it's over. She would care, she really would, if she didn't feel so incredible. Her limbs ache and she is sweating and panting like she just ran a marathon. Nothing could wipe the smile off her face.

Bernie comes out of her and settles beside her. She runs her fingertips up and down Serena’s arm. The brunette knows it should tickle but she can't feel anything other than delirious happiness.

“Was that ok?” Bernie breathes against her ear and kisses her neck softly.

“Are you kidding? Ok? Look at me woman! That was...” Serena searches for an appropriate adjective. There just isn't one. She softly giggles instead.

“What? Why are you laughing?” Bernie kisses her into submission.

“Sian was right about one thing...” Bernie raises an eyebrow at that. “... it's the quiet ones you have to watch. You are amazing in bed.” Serena pulls her back on top of her and kisses her passionately. “Let me make love to you, Bernie.” She flips them so that she is on top. She stays slightly out of reach as she waits for permission. As soon as Bernie nods, she leans in with that dazzling smile and kisses Bernie's own smile from her lips, to be replaced with wide eyed amazement.

Bernie knows instantly when Serena touches her that she will not last. It's been so long since anyone's hands had brought her to climax, except her own, and even just the thought of Serena's touch could make her come. She would be embarrassed by the speed with which she is on edge but it just feels too fucking good. “Serena, I can't hold on much longer...” She gasps out the confession as the familiar tingling starts running up the insides of her thighs. She's close. So fucking close. Has to fist the sheets in her hands to ground herself.

“Who said anything about holding on?” Serena thrusts harder, deeper, with a knowing smile tugging at her mouth. She licks her way up Bernie's torso, right over her jaw to whisper in her ear. “I want you to let go. That's what I want. Come for me. Please Bernie, let me see you come.” Serena palms her breasts softly with her free hand, fingers tugging gently on Bernie's nipples, and holds eye contact as she drives in and out of her.

“I'm... oh fuck!” Bernie's whole body contracts and quivers as she gives Serena exactly what she asked for. She sobs through the most fantastic orgasm she'd ever had. Nothing but Serena controlling her body and making it feel glorious. “I... Serena...” Bernie just groans as the waves of release roll over her.

Serena kisses over the blonde's skin trying to soothe her once she knows that she's coming down again, then she stills and lies back down beside her. They are both slick with sweat, chests heaving and completely happy.

“That was incredible. I can't believe how amazing that was, right? It just felt so... Did you feel it?” Serena turns on her side to lie halfway across the blonde. Eyes soft and full of wonder.

“You are perfect. I can't say how much that meant to me.” Bernie matches the brunette's expression as she pushes her back down to have her again. “It’s as if I've always been waiting for you, I'm not wasting another second now that you're here.” She searches Serena's eyes for any hint of objection, elated to find none.


	6. Chapter 6

“I think I've been falling for you since I first heard your laugh, at the bar when we met. I knew even then.” Serena snuggles in further to Bernie's side and kisses her neck softly.

  
“I felt it from the very first time I saw you. I guess I just tried to push it down because I never thought you'd want me when you could have anyone.” Bernie is glad to have been wrong.

  
They had spent most of last night and parts of this morning just making love. Bernie smiles at the memory. They couldn't get enough of each other.

  
“Weren't you mad when you figured out that it was me all along?” Bernie’s tone is hesitant, apologetic.

  
“I suppose I should have been but I'm so glad it was you. I wanted it to be you.” Serena turns Bernie's face to her and kisses her deeply.

  
“I never meant to trick you, I hated lying to you. I really never thought I stood a chance -” Bernie is silenced by Serena’s mouth on hers again.

  
“Now, I do believe I was lured here with the promise of ice cream and silly movies.” Serena smiles as she tickles her fingers over Bernie’s front.

  
“It's only 8am. You want ice cream?” Bernie knows she would give Serena anything she asked for. Everything she wanted.

  
“Unless you have anything else to eat?” Serena kisses her way down Bernie's body, with a cheeky grin and an insatiable glint in her eye.

  
“No. Please. No more. At least let me refuel before we do that again.” Bernie can't believe she is actually turning her down.

  
“Party pooper.” Serena slinks back up the way she came. “Can I help it if you're irresistible?” She sucks Bernie's earlobe into her mouth and the blonde almost relents.

  
“Please. Breakfast first.” Bernie gasps out the shaky request.

  
“Fine. I can contain myself. Maybe.” Serena slides out of the bed with a wink. She gathers up yesterday's clothes and sashays into Bernie's ensuite.

  
Bernie couldn't shake the grin from her face. The sight of a naked Serena Campbell would never get old. She throws off the duvet, puts all her clothes in the hamper and heads after Serena to shower and get dressed.

  
“There should be a new pack of toothbrushes in the cabinet if you want one.” Bernie starts the shower and stands with Serena at the mirror to brush her own teeth.

  
“Are you working today?” Serena asks as she washes what little was left of her make-up off her face. Bernie hands her a towel and waits for her to dry off before answering.

  
“Unfortunately, 11am-7pm. You?” Bernie opens the shower door to step in.

  
“Day off.” Serena smiles and buttons up yesterday's shirt.

  
“Would you like to do something later? I... We... Dinner maybe? Or a movie? Or both?” Bernie sighs, exasperated at herself. She had just made love to Serena for hours and now was totally incapable of asking her out on a date...

  
“Sounds like a plan. I can meet you in town? What time suits?” Serena heard the uncertainty in Bernie's voice, but she thought her shyness was rather endearing.

  
“Maybe 7.30pm? I'll take a look at what's on at the cinema.” Bernie offers, switching the shower back off and walking out to grab her towel.

  
“Suits me. I'll head home in a bit to get changed. Can't go out on a date like this.” Serena inspects her reflection with derision. “I look frightful.”

  
“Not possible. You are beautiful.” Bernie catches her eye in the glass, pecks her gently on the cheek and heads off in search of clothes.

  
A warmth fills the brunette at Bernie's words, had anyone ever said it so matter of fact? Maybe if she was dressed up to the nines or they were trying to seduce her. Never when she arguably looked her worst and with not a hint of self interest. She could tell that Bernie had just said it because she thought it. Serena couldn't help but smile at this sweet, sincere woman. She was a rare find and Serena suddenly felt so lucky.

  
“Would you really like ice cream for breakfast? Or I can whip us up something else?” Bernie's head pops round the door with a soft smile.

  
“Let's do ice cream and movies another time.” Serena hopes Bernie can tell what she's saying. That she wanted to see her again, maybe spend the night again.

  
“Whatever the lady wants. How about bacon sandwiches?” Bernie asks.

  
“Ooh yes please.” Serena smiles in reply.

  
Bernie bounced downstairs to make a start and leave Serena to finish up. Serena comes into the kitchen a few minutes later to keep her company.

  
“Now I really should do this...” Serena fishes her phone out of her bag, showing it to Bernie as she scrolls to ‘Alex' and deletes the name, changing it to ‘Bernie.’ “....much better!” She says with a flourish and a smile.

  
“Alex...” Bernie hadn't given her friend a second thought until she saw her name. Her colour drains and guilt settles like an elephant on her chest. “Oh God, what have I done?” She gazes up at Serena, the beginning of tears in her eyes. “I can't do this to her.” Bernie sweeps her fringe out of her eyes and grabs a fistful of her own hair.

  
“Bernie.” Serena sees the conflict wash over the blonde and she knows what she's thinking.

  
“I slept with my best friend's girlfriend. Fuck! How could I have let this happen? This can't happen again. She's never going to forgive me. We can't do this anymore. Jesus!” Bernie paces her kitchen, clearly agitated.

  
“I'd hardly say I was her girlfriend -” Serena points out.

  
“You think she'll see it like that?! She thinks you're the one. Oh shit, I feel sick...” Bernie’s face falls.

  
“Thanks for that.” Serena suddenly feels angry. “Glad to know where I stand.”

  
“What choice do I have? She's my best friend. You think she's gonna just be happy for us?! There's no future here, Serena.” Bernie puts it to her straight.

  
Serena blinks at the tears forming and searches for what to say.

  
They are disturbed by the sound of the doorbell.

  
Bernie watches the brunette for a moment more, turns off the ring with the bacon on it and then goes to answer the door.

  
“Ready gym buddy?” Alex greets her as she pushes into the hallway.

  
“Alex.” Bernie dies on the spot, she'd forgotten she promised to go for a session with Alex before work. Oh shit. This was bad, this was very very bad.

  
“Who stole my spot?” Alex points to the car parked behind Bernie's. “Actually, isn't that Serena's car?” She suddenly recognises it.

  
“Um, I...she...” Bernie looks away and just nods wordlessly.

  
“Is she here?” Alex takes a second to join all the dots and then her face goes cold, hard as she looks at her friend.

  
“I would say it's not what it looks like but...” Bernie figures now that she knows, there's no point trying to deny it or lie.

  
“You slept with her?! You had sex with Serena?! Are you fucking serious?!” For every step Alex takes towards her, Bernie takes one away.

  
“I'm sorry, Alex. I just...we... I didn’t... I wasn't trying to hurt you.” Bernie feels terrible.

  
“Well, mission very un-fucking-accomplished! How could you do this to me?” Alex actually goes for Bernie then, grabbing her by the collar, fist raised.

  
“Go ahead, hit me if it'll make you feel better.” Bernie doesn't even try to defend herself.

  
“Don't even think about it!” Serena steps into the hall, having heard everything, eyes blazing at Alex.

  
“You're not worth it.” Alex snarls right in Bernie's face before pushing her away. “Did she tell you that she's been tricking you into liking her all this time? Lying to you, pretending to be me? Or were you just too busy fucking each other for conversation?”

  
“I know that Bernie's been texting me as you, yes. And don't act like you had nothing to do with it. It suited you perfectly fine at the time, thinking it meant you had a chance with me.” Serena squares up to the other woman.

  
“Only way she could get anyone to sleep with her anyway. Pretend to be me and wait for sloppy seconds.” Alex hisses out.

  
“Don't talk about Serena like that! She's done nothing wrong.” Bernie tenses at her friend's spite.

  
“Well, she'll get tired of you soon enough. Decide she wants a real woman to satisfy her properly.” Alex seems sure of herself.

  
“She did more than satisfy me last night and well into this morning don't you worry.” Serena retorts.

  
“How could you do this to me? You stole her from me. Didn't think you had it in you. Not exactly popular with the ladies.” Alex turns childish, hitting below the belt.

  
“I'm not yours to steal.” Serena challenges. “Tell me this, Alex...” Serena says the name with venom and scorn. “...if you're so taken with me. What's my favourite flower?”

  
“What? What does that have to do with it?” Alex snaps.

  
“Not even a guess?” Serena won't back down.

  
“I don't know. You don't even like flowers.” Alex chances her arm.

  
“Bernie?” Serena asks the same thing.

  
“White roses.” Bernie mumbles.

  
“How many times have I seen Swan Lake?” Serena keeps going, looking at Alex.

  
“If you're anything like her at least a million times.” Alex chides.

  
“Bernie?”

  
“Once. First time with us five weeks ago.”

  
“What did I order at that Italian restaurant?” Serena continues.

  
“Some kind of pasta. I wasn't even there!” Alex huffs.

  
“I wonder why? Bernie?” Serena raises an eyebrow at the other brunette.

  
“Lasagne.”

  
“What kind of surgery do I specialise in?” Serena was on a roll now.

  
“Couldn't care less.” Alex loses her patience, no one makes a fool of her.

  
“Vascular.” Bernie answers unprompted.

  
“You're not interested in me, except maybe to get into my pants Alex. Why can't Bernie and I be together when we actually care about each other? She didn't do this to hurt you and it was my doing just as much as hers. I love her. You only wanted me for one night. It's hardly the ultimate betrayal.” Serena pleads with Alex to let it go.

  
“You and I are done.” Alex jabs her finger at Bernie. “You’re welcome to each other.” She storms out with a slam of the door.

  
“I'm so sorry, Bernie.” Serena reaches for the blonde, who backs away from her. “Bernie?”

  
“We can't... You need to go.” Bernie turns away from her completely then.

  
“What? No. Please. Didn't you hear what I told her? I love you.” Serena tries to hold Bernie’s hand.

  
“No, you were upset last night and I took advantage of that. You were vulnerable and I should never have -” Bernie feels even worse when she sees it like that.

  
“You could never take advantage of anyone. Besides, I kissed you first. And I was a more than willing participant in everything else we did.” Serena assures her.

  
“It shouldn't have happened. It won't happen again.” Bernie spaces every word, emphasising her point.

  
“You don't mean that. Please Bernie.” Serena turns Bernie's face to her own and tries to kiss her.

  
“I need to get ready for work and you need to leave.” Bernie pulls away from the brunette.

  
“Please...” Serena is begging her now, tears falling on to her cheeks.

  
Bernie’s heart breaks with every step as she fetches Serena’s things, before showing her to the door and closing it in her face.


	7. Chapter 7

Bernie leaves the house a little while later and finds Serena sitting at the kerb inside her car, tears streaming down her face. She scrambles out of the car when she sees Bernie step outside.

“Bernie, please. You can't do this. I don't accept that last night is all we have. I want more and I know you feel the same.” She grabs desperately at the blonde. She knew how she looked but she didn't care, she'd never felt like this about anyone and she wasn't letting go.

“Please don't cry.” Bernie rests her forehead against Serena's, hands on either side of her face. She couldn't bear to see the brunette upset or hurt in any way. To think that she caused it was devastating. “I never want you to be unhappy.”

“Then don't do this. Please.” Serena grips Bernie's wrists and moves her mouth closer to the blonde’s, until Bernie can feel her breath on her lips. “If you don't love me, if you don't want me, I'll go. But you have to say it.” She knows she's risking a lot by giving Bernie an out, she just hopes she knows the blonde's heart as well as she thinks.

Bernie shakes her head at that. “You know I can't say that. It's not true. I do love you and I want you so much.” Her voice breaks as she struggles to get the words out. “I've made such a mess of everything.” She chokes as she bites back a sob. “I wish I'd met you first. I wish I was braver and had just texted you as me. I wish I had told Alex that she couldn't have you because I wanted you. You deserve someone brave enough to do those things.”

“I just want you.” Serena can almost taste Bernie, they are so close to kissing now.

“Alex hates me anyway, I guess she can't hate me more for being with you. I don't care if she does.” Bernie pulls away slightly to look at Serena.

“Does that mean -” Serena starts to ask.

Bernie kisses away the question and feels the brunette smile against her mouth. “I'll pick you up at 7.30pm. Text me your address. You have my number, right?” Bernie teases.

“Yes.” Serena nods and half laughs, half sobs into another kiss.

“I have to go.” Bernie makes no effort to move as she mumbles the words into Serena's mouth.

“Ok.” Serena just keeps kissing her, neither of them pull away.

“I really have to go.” Bernie pulls away breathless.

“Call in sick.” Serena kisses a trail over Bernie's jawline and pleads into her ear.

“Don't tempt me.” Bernie lifts her chin to give Serena more room as she nips at her neck with her teeth.

“I'll see you tonight.” Serena smiles as she pushes Bernie away gently, otherwise they'd never leave.

“Can't wait. I love you.” Bernie smiles and blows Serena one last kiss before getting into her car.

She has just pulled up at St James’ when her phone beeps.

S: I love you too, Bernie x

It shouldn't make her smile so much to see Serena text her as ‘Bernie’ but she grins like a fool well into the hospital. Until she sees Alex. The stab of guilt is still there but now she also feels like she can't give up what she could have with Serena just for the sake of Alex's pride. That's all it would be. Alex never really believed Serena was the one, she didn't even stop dating other women long enough to find out. Serena wasn't interested in Alex and that could just as easily have had nothing to do with Bernie. She had a chance at real happiness with Serena and she wasn't letting go.

Alex wouldn't speak to her, barely looked her way. If she did say anything, it was bordering on the unprofessional and Bernie didn't want to have to report her, so she stayed out of her way. She only got through the day by thinking about seeing Serena. That and by texting her:

B: So looking forward to seeing you tonight x

S: Me too! Is it 7.30pm yet? X

B: Almost. Any ideas where you want to go? Not much on at the cinema... x

S: How about the Italian place again? We could make a night of it this time x

B: Sounds perfect, cu soon x

Bernie just about stuck to the speed limit getting home and changed that night after her shift. Rifling through her wardrobe she changes in a flash and heads back out. She picks up some more roses on the way and is only a few minutes late arriving at the address Serena gave her.

She grabs the flowers and walks up to ring the doorbell, but Serena is already opening the door as she raises her hand.

“I've booked a taxi so we can share that bottle of Shiraz this time.” She smiles as Bernie throws her arms around her, bouquet and all, kissing her hello.

“These are for you.” Bernie grins as she untangles herself and passes over the roses.

“You don't have to buy me flowers every time.” Serena ushers her in to put them in water before they go. “Thank you, they're gorgeous.”

“Nothing compared to you.” Bernie grabs her by the waist from behind and drops delicate kisses to the side of her throat.

“Charmer.” Serena teases as she lifts the vase to set in the middle of her dining table. “Ready for our first official date?” She smiles as she looks at the roses.

“Were there unofficial ones?” Bernie wonders out loud.

“Every time we saw each other, I just wanted to be on a date with you, if I'm honest. The night we danced at that bar, my heart was hammering so hard, I'm surprised you couldn't hear it. I thought we were going to kiss.” Serena tells her.

“I wanted to kiss you then.” Bernie admits.

“I wish I'd told you sooner, that I knew you were really texting me. Maybe we could have been together all these weeks and Alex wouldn't have minded so much. I only went out with her because I hoped you'd be there each time.” Serena curses her bad decisions. “I've fallen hard for you, Bernie Wolfe, but I never wanted to come between friends.”

“I seriously doubt you were the great love of her life or anything. I just think she's mad because I got the girl. And she's the most amazing girl in the world.” Bernie pulls Serena close and leans the sides of their heads together, so she can whisper into Serena's ear. “I've never been happier.” She turns to rest her forehead against Serena's temple and kisses her gently. “You look beautiful by the way. You always do.” 

Serena would never tire of hearing the blonde say that, and nothing could stop the huge smile spreading across her face. “You are pretty gorgeous yourself.” Serena thinks it's adorable when Bernie blushes at the compliment. “My beautiful Bernie.” She tucks some stray blonde curls behind Bernie's ear and kisses her gently. 

The kiss is just deepening when the taxi shows up.

“Shall we?” Bernie laces her fingers through Serena’s and leads them outside.

They shared a pizza and a bottle of Shiraz this time. Pepperoni on Serena’s half and Hawaiian of all things on Bernie's.

“Pineapple on pizza?” Serena scrunches up her face as she sees Bernie tuck in.

“At least I know you won't be stealing any of mine then.” Bernie grins at the look on the brunette’s face.

“Not a chance!” Serena chuckles as she takes another sip of her wine. “So... I was thinking that we could go back to mine later.” Serena raises an eyebrow to indicate what she was hinting at.

“Sure, I'd like that.” Bernie looks up at the brunette shyly through her eyelashes. It took some getting used to, believing that Serena wanted her as much as she wanted her right back.

“Are you free tomorrow, I have another day off?” Serena looks up at the blonde and eats some more of her pizza.

“Yes, as luck would have it.” Bernie smiles. 

“We should do something together.” Serena suggests.

“What do you have in mind?” Bernie asks.

“I don't mind really. It would just be nice to spend some time with you.” Serena just wants to be with her.

“It would.” Bernie agrees. “We'll think of something.”

“How did work go today?” Serena refills her glass from the bottle and catches Bernie's eye.

“Fine. Hectic as usual.” Bernie says very little.

“And Alex?” Serena adds hesitantly.

Bernie flinched at the mention of her friend. “She won't speak to me. And if she does, it's only to say something unpleasant. I think I'll just give her some space. She might come round eventually.”

“I really am sorry. I never meant for -” Serena felt responsible.

“No, don't. It's not your fault.” Bernie reaches for her hand and gently runs her thumb over the back. “I don't regret meeting you, falling for you and I hope you feel the same...” Bernie looks a bit unsure.

“I don't. None of it.” Serena reassures her.

“We can't help how we feel and I don't want to. I know that I want to be with you and see where this can go. I reacted badly this morning and I'm sorry for that.” Bernie squeezes Serena's hand in her own.

“Let's not worry about any of that now. We can just enjoy each other.” Serena returns the squeeze, before moving her hand away and they both finish off their food.

“I guess it might be a bit presumptuous to ask this, given that we're only on our first date...” Bernie twists the stem of her glass with nervous fingers and keeps her eyes firmly on the tablecloth. “...St James’ are having a fundraising gala at the end of next month. I was wondering if you'd go with me. Feel free to say no -”

“I'd love to be your date for the evening.” Bernie’s head snaps up, she really was going to have to learn to accept that Serena liked spending time with her. “When is it?”

“28th. It's black tie, dinner, drinks, dancing. It's at The Wyvern Hotel.” Bernie explains.

“We should book a room, we could stay the night.” Serena’s eyes shine with flirtation at the suggestion.

Bernie swallows thickly, suddenly feeling very warm and dry mouthed. “Ok.” She mumbles, flushing from head to toe.

“Dessert?” Serena asks with the same look still on her face.

“Let's skip it and head back to yours.” Bernie replies, bravery recovered.

“My thoughts exactly.” Serena licks her lips and fixes the blonde with a telling stare.

The taxi is booked and quickly despatched. Bernie insists on paying the bill and they walk out of the restaurant, hands linked, Serena’s head resting lightly on the blonde’s shoulder and upper arm. They are lost in each other and laughing together, the picture of happiness. 

They don't notice Alex across the car park, in the shadows watching them. No one made her look like an idiot and got away with it. She'd bide her time, but she'd make sure they paid for what they'd done...

Serena can't wait any longer as she pins Bernie against her door when it has barely closed behind them. “I think it's about time I finished what I started this morning, don't you?” She kisses the blonde fiercely as she unbuttons her shirt, pushing it and Bernie’s coat off her shoulders, to pool on the floor.

They leave a string of clothes from there to the brunette’s bedroom, until they are horizontal on Serena’s sheets. Serena holds Bernie’s arms above her head by the wrists with one hand, as she bombards Bernie's skin with warm kisses. Working her way down Bernie's body, she softly worships her breasts and keeps moving lower, the hand that was restraining the blonde following her down, she sweeps it over the curves underneath her.

Bernie watches her, eyes ablaze as she keeps kissing towards her goal: the waiting arousal between Bernie's thighs. She pulls on Bernie's hips to bring her to her, spreading the blonde's legs to leave her as open, exposed as she wants her. With one last dark look she dives in.

“Serena!” Bernie’s hands go to her hair, holding her where she needs her. “Right there, oh yes! Just like that...” Bernie smiles as the pleasure takes hold. She was so fucking turned on by this woman, making her feel so much more aroused than she'd swear she'd ever been. Serena only had to look at her a certain way and she was almost undone. “Fuck, I love you. Serena. I love you!”

Serena smiles as Bernie begins grinding her hips up to rub herself against Serena's face and tongue. She was gritting her teeth, with a half desperate groan escaping, almost as if she couldn't quite get what she needed. A frustrated concentration etched on her face as she sought out release.

“Oh God, there. Yes, yes. Please. Don't stop. I'm so close. Serena, please. Don't stop.” Bernie looks gorgeous, so completely undone and Serena can't stop looking at her. “Almost.... Oh I'm....Uh. Serena, you're making me come!” Bernie’s head flies back as she reaches the peak.

Breathing heavy and heart beating wildly, she is finally spent and flops down on the covers. “I'm dead, aren't I?” She pants out, judging by the look on her face she isn't one bit worried.

“I sincerely hope not.” Serena kisses her way back up to the blonde's mouth. “I need you alive for what I have planned.” She smiles that smile that makes Bernie's heart sing and the blonde feels her energy return.

They take their fill of each other well into the night, before clinging to the other's body, limbs tangled and falling into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

They saw each other regularly over the next few weeks, alternating whose place they stayed at and they stayed together most nights. It was only when conflicting shifts forced them to, that they really spent any time apart. The love making was mind blowing and they were arguably the most satisfied they'd ever been, in every way. Who knew that the slightly awkward, painful shy blonde that Serena has met all their weeks ago would be the sweetest, most lovely and loving partner she'd had? And the fact that she was the cause of the most toe curling divine and intense orgasm of her life was just a bonus really. Bernie, for her part, had really come out of her shell. She felt more confident and self assured, she was the happiest she'd ever been. They both were. Alex still wouldn't speak to Bernie, but it was something she was learning to live with.

It was the Tuesday night before the gala that Friday and they were huddled together on Bernie's sofa finally having their ice cream and silly movies night. Both had small, telling smiles on their faces as they pretended to watch the movie.

“All set for Friday night? Dinner’s at 8pm but I'm on shift till 7pm. Is it ok if I meet you there? Room is all booked. A suite with strawberries and champagne, HUGE bathtub, breakfast and late check out the next day.” Bernie smiles as she brushes her lips teasingly from Serena’s shoulder to her ear.

“Sounds like heaven.” Serena sighs out her reply as Bernie continues to work on her neck with her mouth. “Hmmm, I bought a new dress just for the occasion. Maybe something else to go under it too.” Serena gasps as the blonde nips at the shell of her ear.

“You do know how to show a girl a good time.” Both smile against the other's mouth as they crash together in a battle of lips and tongues.

“You have no idea.” Serena purrs seductively as she pulls away to catch her breath. “What would you say to taking the rest of that ice cream upstairs?” She was already unbuttoning Bernie's shirt and feasting on the exposed skin now at her disposal.

“You grab the ice cream. I'll grab you.” Bernie grins as Serena squeals when the blonde scoops her up effortlessly to take her to the bedroom.

“I love it when you do that.” Serena was beside herself, she couldn't help but remember their first night together. It was so sexy that Bernie could carry her so easily. “Wait! The ice cream...” Serena points to the coffee table. Bernie carries her back over and dips them so that Serena can pick up the tub.

“Spoons?” Bernie tilts her head at them.

“We won't be needing those.” Serena’s look is positively sinful. “Just imagine, you are my bowl and this...” Serena runs her tongue up the side of Bernie's neck. “... is what I will be using as my spoon.”

“Right then.” Bernie practically sprints upstairs with the brunette in her arms. The throbbing between her legs was already unbearable. They were in for one hell of a night.

She careful sets Serena down on the bed and takes the ice cream to place on the bedside table.

“You're wearing far too many clothes. Take them off.” Serena commands.

You too?” Bernie is already obeying, tugging everything off as quickly as possible. She gets a little bit stuck in her damn skinny jeans and Serena laughs as she watches her trying to unstick herself.

“I do love you, Bernie Wolfe.” Serena smiles with warm eyes as the blonde continues to struggle. “Come here.” She sits on the edge of the bed, encouraging Bernie to stand in the space between her legs as she sets to her task.

With a valiant, combined effort they manage to free Bernie and Serena unclasps the blonde's bra while she's there. With a small tug to pull down her pants, she is rewarded with the sight of one extremely naked Berenice Wolfe. The evidence of her excitement glistening on the wiry curls at the apex of her thighs.

“Maybe we don't need the ice cream for me to have something sweet and wet and sticky to eat.” She says all this while pressing open mouthed kisses to Bernie's tummy, one hand exploring through her folds.

“Serena...” Bernie grips the brunette by the shoulders as she watches her movements, her head tilts back in pleasure as the brunette strokes at her now distended and almost painful clit.

Serena pulls her hand back and slips the fingers that were just touching Bernie into her mouth and sucks them clean.

“Fuck.” Is all Bernie can say as she watches her.

“I think you are my favourite flavour.” Serena’s eyes smoulder as she slowly starts to undress for the blonde.

Bernie pounces on her the second she is fully uncovered. “Fuck, you are so sexy. Jesus, Serena you are gorgeous.” She peppers the brunette's skin with wet kisses and soft words of adoration, as she rubs the full length of their bodies together. “I love you.” Her smile is so bright and her eyes so obviously full of said love that Serena knows it's true.

“You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Serena threads her fingers through Bernie's messy but perfect curls and pulls her to her, kissing her soundly. “I love you too.” 

The ice cream has well and truly melted when they get to that. They are practically drinking it off the other’s skin. The air fills with the sound of pleasured cries and happy laughter, as they explore and discover and share everything that they have, everything that they are.

When they lie side by side later, exhausted and sated, Serena is the first to break the silence.

“I've finished with that book I borrowed.” She turns to rest on her side facing the blonde.

“Seriously? That's what you're thinking about right now? After all that!” Bernie moved to face her, false indignation in her face. “I can see I'm going to have to try harder to keep your mind on me.” She chuckles as Serena pinches her playfully.

“Why, what are you thinking about right now?” Serena counters.

“You. Always you. About what we just did and how amazing it was. Torn between really wanting to do it again and knowing that if I don't sleep soon I doubt any of my patients will make it tomorrow.” Bernie smiles and kisses Serena’s hairline, pulling her in to keep her close as she starts to drift between sleeping and awake.

“Do you want it back?” Serena has the blonde resting in the crook of her shoulder and is running her fingers through her curls, dropping a kiss every so often to her forehead.

“Hm?” Bernie tilts her head up in response but her eyes remain closed, content and sleepy.

“The book.” Serena clarifies.

“Why are we still talking about the book?” Bernie pouts and Serena kisses it away. “If you must give it back, why don’t you swing by the hospital for lunch tomorrow? I won't see you otherwise...” Bernie pouts again waiting for more kisses. Serena happily obliges with a grin and a soft kiss.

“Alright, say 1.30pm. I'll pick you up at your office. There's a new sandwich bistro in town we could try?” Serena offers.

“Sounds good.” Bernie replies round a yawn. “Sleep now, you've worn me out woman.” She cuddles further into the brunette with a small smile, Serena could wear her out as much as she wanted and they both knew it.

“Sleep now.” Serena confirms as they fall asleep in each other's arms.

Bernie loved waking up with Serena. She was always adorably sleepy first thing. Groggily shooing away the blonde's kisses while she begged for ‘just five more minutes, please’.

“I'll make us some breakfast.” Serena watches her go with one eye half open, always so bloody perky in the mornings, she thinks.

Bernie comes back upstairs carrying coffee and lots of buttery toast.

“You are an angel sent straight from heaven.” Serena brightens when she smells the coffee.

“Not what you were calling me twenty minutes ago.” Bernie holds the cup just out of reach. “Uh uh. You know the rules. Kiss first. Then coffee.” Bernie puckers her lips exaggeratedly.

Serve smiles as she leans up for the kiss. “I'll have to go soon and get changed for work.”

“You should just leave some stuff here, that way you don't always have to rush off.” Bernie says the obvious thing, as she munches on her food. “I can clear you out a drawer in that thing...” She points to her tallboy. “...and I don't use half the space in the ensuite cabinet, so feel free to leave whatever you need in there too.”

“Well, now isn't this all becoming very domesticated.” Serena teases but really she's over the moon. “Will I have to clear you some space at mine in return?” She quips.

“If you want.” Bernie grins and sets the breakfast things to one side, before settling on top of the brunette, poised to have her again.

“As much as I would love to see where this is headed, I really do have to go.” Serena explains apologetically.

“To be continued then.” Bernie kisses the tip of her nose and lets her up. “You wanna grab a shower before you go?” She gathers up all the dishes and heads to take them back downstairs.

“No time. I'll get sorted at home. See you for lunch?” Serena quickly dresses and kisses Bernie at the door before heading to her car.

“1.30pm! See you then.” Bernie calls after her.

Bernie has been up to her eyes all day and Alex must have requested not to work with her anymore because there was now some other anaesthetist in all her surgeries. The thought made her more than a little sad in honesty. She peels her blood soaked scrubs off, feeling like she really needs a shower but there was no time, Serena would be here any minute. She settles for a thorough wash and changes into her clothes, ready to head out for lunch. She had her pager with her just in case, but a few of her registrars were on duty so she hoped they'd be undisturbed.

She heads back to her office to grab her satchel and blanches when she sees the time, she half jogs the rest of the way trying not to be late.

“What the fuck? ALEX?!” She can't believe her eyes, has to put her hand up to shield them from the sight if she's honest. The entire contents of her desk is littering the floor. They needed the space clearly because there on top of it, spread eagle and half naked is who Bernie supposes is Sian. She wasn't moving her hand to check anyway. The woman's shirt was open, bra pushed aside and skirt bunched up round her waist. Bernie could see her pants lying on the floor and would unfortunately never un-see her best friend grinding in and out of the blonde.

“Get her out of here! NOW!!” Bernie is incensed at her friend's carelessness. “Do you have any idea what would have happened if someone else found you?! You could lose your job!! Christ, Alex.” Bernie says all this while looking anywhere but at the pair. “Serena was the one, really? I find that hard to believe given this little show. Is this what you were doing the night you made me go to that restaurant?” Bernie was livid.

“Might have been.” Alex just shrugs and goes to lean against the filing cabinet behind the door, totally unfazed.

“So all the shit you gave me, you haven't spoken to me in weeks and all this time you hadn’t the slightest interest in Serena. You've been sleeping with Sian!” Bernie couldn't believe it.

“Be a dear and pass me those, sweetie.” Sian looks to Bernie and gestures at the underwear at the surgeon’s feet. She shows no signs of getting dressed.

Bernie extremely reluctantly reaches for the garment, touching as little of it as she can and holds it out for Sian. Anything to make her leave.

“Thanks gorgeous.” She slinks over to Bernie who is speechless. Was she actually trying to hit on her now?

“Ready for...” Serena bursts through the door just then and takes in the scene. “...lunch?” All the air leaves her lungs as she puts two and two together but comes up with five. “Oh no. Guess not. Looks like you've already eaten!” She throws the bloody book she'd bloody well borrowed at Bernie's stupid head.

Bernie had to admit it did look bad. Her office was in total disarray, Sian was still mostly undressed and post coital and Bernie was holding her underwear. “It's not what it looks like.” This time it was true. “It was Alex... She...” Bernie searches for her friend to explain all this away. Where the fuck was Alex?!

Alex had slipped away unseen through the adjoining door and back into the corridor. A perfect plan already formed as she walked back up to the other door behind Serena.

“Jesus, Bern! Well, well, well one woman not enough for you now?” She plays innocent but Bernie sees the look on her face, Serena does not.

“You... you did this! Tell her!” Bernie didn't know whether to be furious or devastated.

“Nothing to do with me.” Alex holds up her hands in mock surrender. “You are a dark horse, Wolfe. Screwing them both. That's cold even by my standards. What, did you figure that Sian could give you a few tips to bring back to Serena?”

Serena feels sick and light headed, she needed to sit down but she couldn't stay here any longer. “I have to go.”

“No, Serena wait! I didn't do this, you know I wouldn't do that to you.” Bernie pleads for the brunette to believe her. “How could I be sleeping with her, I don't even like her?!”

“Hey! I'm still here, you know?” Sian pouts, rather unhelpfully snatching her pants back from Bernie.

“I spend all of my time with you, I'm not -” Bernie tries again.

“That would explain why you're fucking her in your office! I'm sorry if I monopolised so much of your time in the evenings, that you were forced to get your jollies with her at work!!” Serena can't even see Bernie anymore through her tears.

“Serena, you have to believe me.” Bernie reaches for her.

“Don't you touch me!! Don't you come anywhere near me ever again!” Serena stalks away.

“Is this what you wanted? I've lost the woman I love. The woman who you're not even bothered about. Admit it, Alex. You don't care about Serena. Are you happy now?” Bernie races after Serena, hoping she can make her see the truth.

Alex had thought this would make her happy. Perhaps for a tiny moment she was. Seeing the results of her childish spite, she only feels hollow and guilty. What had she done?

“Serena, Serena please!” Bernie chases her to her car.

“Stay away from me!!” She screams at the blonde and gets into her car, speeding off.

Bernie turns and walks back up to her office, fighting back the tears. Alex is there when she arrives, Sian thankfully has finally left.

“Bern, I'm so sorry. I can fix this.” Alex tries to apologise and make amends.

“Don't you think you've done enough?!” Bernie loses it with her friend. “GET OUT!!!”

Alex doesn't move.

“Get out, before I throw you out myself.” Bernie wasn't messing around and Alex leaves.

Bernie slumps down in her office chair and weeps for what she's lost.


	9. Chapter 9

“Figures.” Bernie scoffs as she tidies her office up after calming down a bit. “She makes the mess and I'm left to clean it up.” Meaning Alex. She manages to keep it together until she picks up the book Serena had thrown at her, the one she'd borrowed. She cries again and soaks the pages with tears as she leafs through it. Serena had read all of these words and touched the pages and this was as close as she'd probably ever get to her again. She reaches for her phone, screensaver now changed to a selfie of them on a night out. Her fingers trace over Serena's beautiful, happy face as she shudders out a sob.

B: Please, Serena. Just let me explain. I would never cheat on you. I was in surgery all day until you arrived, you can check if you like. Come over tonight and I'll tell you everything. I love you x

Bernie fires off the text, desperate for the brunette to hear her out.

S: Leave me alone. Don't contact me again. I'm not going anywhere near your house to hear more lies!

B: Why would I be with Sian when I’m in love with you? Please believe me x

S: Go away, Bernie!

It was hopeless. She knew that what Serena thought had happened was more plausible than the truth, given what she'd walked in on. Bernie couldn't fix this, she doesn't even know where to start. She’d just have to make Serena listen to her.

Serena was in bits for the rest of her day, she somehow managed not to kill any patients and went home to drown in Shiraz. Every time she closed her eyes she could see them together. She was beyond devastated. She had never imagined Bernie could be capable of such betrayal. She was only drawn out of her misery by the doorbell.

“What do you want?” She snarls at Bernie on her doorstep, as she guzzles the rest of her glass, eyes red and swollen from crying. “I told you to leave me alone.”

“Can I come in?” Bernie looks just as bad and she'd obviously been crying too.

“No.” Serena moves to close the door. She didn't have the strength for this.

“I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me. Please.” Bernie holds the door open with her palm.

“I don't have anything to say to you. Get off my doorstep or I'll call the police.” Bernie can tell she means it.

“Please Serena, I didn't do what you think I did. I know how it must have looked but I swear to you, I'm not with Sian. Or anyone else.” Bernie looks so sure and Serena wants to believe her, so she falters for just a moment.

“You're a very convincing liar, I'll give you that -” Serena’s pain resurfaces.

“I'm telling you the truth!” Bernie insists.

“Don't give me that crap! I caught you with her knickers in your hand for fuck sake!” Serena screams at her.

“If you let me in, I promise I can explain all this. I would never do anything to hurt you. Especially not this.” Bernie takes a step towards the hallway.

“I don't want you here! Don't come back.” Serena pushes her back out on to the street.

“You can't ignore me forever.” Bernie knew that in reality she could give it a good go.

“Watch me.” Serena spits out and slams the door.

Bernie considers knocking and banging again until Serena relents, but she thought maybe she should give her time.

Serena could not believe it. She had made the mistake of telling Hanssen about the fundraiser when she'd arranged to attend and he was insisting that she go. Something about networking and developing the working relationship between their two hospitals. He even suggested that perhaps Ms Wolfe would like to liaise with her to discuss the trauma facilities that Serena had been pushing for. The glare on Ms Campbell’s face at that comment implied that perhaps not.

Bernie had pushed Serena’s invite through her letterbox the evening before, as she tried again to get her to talk to her and failed miserably. It had taken all of Serena's resolve not to rip it to shreds. She'd have to go to the bloody thing and she'd have to see Bernie. Fantastic...

The night of the gala saw Bernie in an anxious fluster. Her last surgery had been horrendous but eventually successful. She had to change at the hospital and go on from there. She had no idea if Serena would show up but she doubted it. It was unlikely that she'd even acknowledge her if she was there anyway. She gets into her taxi and heads for the venue.

They are already inside at the bar when they see each other. Bernie was wearing a dark blue, floor length, backless halter neck dress with matching silver shoes and bag. Her hair is swept up in a clip, much as it had been at Swan Lake. She is breath-taking.

Serena had bought a new dress alright. It was a emerald green colour with silver diamante detailing at the waist. Falling to about mid calf, with shoes and bag to match the detailing on her dress. Hair and make-up flawless as usual. Bernie can't take her eyes off her.

“Serena? I didn't think you would come.” She takes a step closer.

“I'm not here for you.” Serena makes herself perfectly clear from the offset. “My CEO insisted, so here I am.”

“Right. I see. Have a good night then.” Bernie turns and walks swiftly away.

Avoiding each other was fine in theory, but because Serena was technically still her guest, they have to sit together at dinner. Serena spends the entire meal with as much of her back to the blonde as she can and still manage to eat and network, as requested. Bernie pushes the food around with her fork and doesn't really eat at all. Both would look longingly at the other when they weren't watching. Serena gets cross with herself when she realises what she’s doing, she shouldn't miss a cheating liar who used her so badly.

“Here. It's the room key. You can stay if you like. I'll be heading home soon and someone might as well use it.” Bernie pushes it to the brunette once dinner is over and stands to go spend the rest of her evening propping up the bar.

“Aren't you going to use it for you and Sian to fuck each other again?” Serena throws at her back.

Bernie stiffens when she hears the remark and marches straight back to Serena. “I did not sleep with Sian! How many times do I have to say it?” Her temper was not holding as well as she'd like.

Alex watches the pair for a while, knowing she has to do something. Never had two people been so clearly in love or so hopelessly miserable without each other.

“Dance?” She steps between the arguing couple and extends her hand to Serena.

Serena really doesn't want to dance with Alex but a tiny part of her knows it will kill Bernie and she wants her to hurt as much as she is. “Absolutely.” She leaves her bag at the table and takes Alex's hand as they head to the dancefloor.

Bernie watches them open mouthed and wide eye, somewhere between cripplingly jealous and heartbroken. She finds a seat at the bar and orders a double whiskey to down in one, as she watches her so-called best friend and the woman she loves dancing together.

“I think I owe you an apology and an explanation.” Alex starts to tell Serena the truth. “Bernie didn't have sex with Sian. I did. You couldn't see me behind the door, I slipped out the other way and came back up to the main door.”

“You don't have to protect her or lie for her.” Serena isn't buying it.

“I guess it might seem that way, but she would never do that to you. I just wanted to get my own back for her sleeping with you. But that wasn’t fair either because you were right. You love each other and I was just trying to get into your pants. Please don't let me being an asshole come between you.” Alex hopes Serena can see that she's telling the truth. “You wanna know how good a person she is? She was trying to get us out of the office so that I wouldn't get fired when I did that to her. Even now, she could report me, I'd lose my job for sure. She hates me for breaking you up, but she still won't take it that far. She's too nice for her own good, a much better friend than I ever deserved.”

“It's admirable that you're covering for her -” Serena tries to walk away.

“You're not listening. It was me. I slept with Sian. I haven't spoken to Bern in weeks, why would I start defending her now?” Alex reasons.

Serena considers that this could be true but Bernie interrupts them.

“Alex, the big boss is looking for you. Something about kissing ass and you being the best of the best.” Bernie doesn't wait for an answer.

“Follow us.” Alex hisses at Serena. “I'll prove it to you. Just stay out of sight and listen.”

“What?” Serena looks at Alex as if she's crazy.

“Just do it.” Alex persists.

“Bern, I need a word. Outside.” She grabs the blonde and leads them to the gardens but stays close to the door, hoping Serena is eavesdropping, as intended. “Serena will come round, you'll see. Do you want me to ask Sian to tell her the truth?”

“I don't want anything from you.” Bernie replies.

“Come on, Bern. I'm sorry. I'm just trying to help.” Alex tries again.

“Oh well that'll fix everything. Alex Dawson wants to help me. Thank God, I'm saved!” Bernie bites out sarcastically. “Shall I tell you where all your ‘help’ has gotten me?” She jabs her pointer finger into Alex's chest.

“Bern, please. We're friends. I never meant for it to go this far.” Alex looks upset.

“Friends?! You don't know the meaning of the word... Were you being my friend when you bullied me into texting Serena as you? Or every time you lied to me and swore you'd tell her but left me to continue tricking her instead? When all you bloody wanted was a quick shag! I love her and thanks to you she won't speak to me!! So come on, tell me Alex, were you being my friend when you set me up with Sian, just so you both could laugh at my expense? Did you have a good chuckle together that night you sent me to that Italian place with Serera and fucked each other’s brains in? You promised me that you weren't screwing around behind her back. I twisted myself in knots, feeling terrible when you insisted that Serena was the one for you, the guilt almost crippled me when I realised I was in love with her and you supposedly wanted her. I tried to push it down because I thought you had feelings for her and now I find out that you were fucking Sian behind her back the whole time. Were you my friend when you almost punched me after you found out I slept with Serena and wouldn't even look at me for weeks? Oh no, I know! It was when I found you knuckles deep in Sian in MY office and then you told Serena that I fucked her!!” Bernie could barely see through the angry, heartbroken haze descending upon her. “I will never be with Serena again because of YOU!! So congratulations, you win. She's single again now and you're free to do whatever you want with that.”

“Bernie, I'm sorry. Please, you have to forgive me. We've been friends for 25 years...” Alex feels like shite.

“Yeah, well not anymore. Leave me alone.” Bernie storms away, wiping at the tears on her face. She doesn't see Serena loitering by the door listening to their conversation. She stalks straight back to the bar and downs another whiskey.

Alex comes back in and spots Serena.

“She really wasn't sleeping with Sian...” Serena felt awful for doubting her wonderful Bernie, she wanted to go to her but she'd been so dreadful to her.

“Nope. Told you that was me.” Alex has the good grace to look ashamed.

“Can I fix this?” Serena searches the other brunette’s face for an answer.

“I'd say so. Just talk to her... Oh no, no, no, no, no. What the fuck is she doing here?” Serena follows Alex's gaze to a small, dark haired woman in a grey dress.

“Who?” Serena looks back round at Alex.

“That's Sophie. Bernie's ex. They were together for almost 3 years. Until Sophie dearest decided to accept a 5 year post in Kiev. Broke it off with Bern before she left about 15 months go. She was heartbroken for months, Bernie had it bad for her. ‘The one that got away’ she said at the time. I never saw her so gutted, she was in bits. Until you came along, I really thought she'd never get over her.” Alex explains.

“What is she doing here then?” Serena feels her blood run cold, she could guess the answer.

“Looking for Bern, it would seem.” Alex tilts her chin back in Sophie’s direction.

Serena sees Sophie spot the blonde and make her way towards her. Her feet don't work as all she can do is watch the woman tap Bernie on the shoulder and throw her arms around her when Bernie turns to face her.


	10. Chapter 10

A stunned Bernie can do very little at first, as the very last person she could expect to see taps her shoulder and flings her arms around her neck. She gathers herself and grabs the woman’s wrists and moves her arms away from her. Serena feels heartened by seeing the blonde pull away from the embrace.

“Jesus, Soph. What are you doing here?” Bernie keeps hold of her wrists, as she can feel her ex trying to move towards her again.

“I got home last night. I missed you. I had to see you.” Sophie confesses and lunges at Bernie, trying to kiss her.

“Hang on, Soph. Sophie!” Bernie steps away from the kiss but her ex keeps trying. “I haven't heard from you in over a year. I thought that you were in Ukraine.”

Serena’s heart leapt into her throat when she saw the other woman attempt to kiss Bernie, then relief assailed her when Bernie dodged the effort and held the women at arm's length.

“Right, I'll keep Sophie busy and you go get Bernie back.” Alex forms their plan.

“They were together for 3 years. I can't compete with that.” Serena looks sadly at Alex. It was a lost cause.

“Why don't you let Bernie decide for herself? I've never seen her as happy as she's been with you.” Alex grabs Serena by the hand and practically drags her across the floor.

“No, Alex. Let go. It's no use. I should just go.” Serena tries to pull free.

“You don't know until you try. You love her, right?” Alex asks.

“Yes.” Serena sounds anxious.

“And you would have been together tonight if I wasn't such a dick. Sophie would be irrelevant. Now let's go!” Alex tugs on her hand to get her to move.

Serena resists and stands still. Alex turns to see what's wrong. “What if she chooses her, Alex?” Alex had never seen anyone look so small and unsure.

“It won't come to that.” Alex wraps her arms around the smaller brunette to comfort her.

Bernie has partly managed to shake off Sophie and is back to ordering whiskies. “Drink?” She tips her glass at her ex.

“You don't normally drink those.” Sophie observes.

“Today seemed like a good time to start.” Bernie knocks back her drink and waves her empty glass at the bartender.

“Tough day?” Sophie rubs at the blonde’s back but Bernie shrugs her away.

“Why are you here, Soph?” Bernie’s question comes out more bluntly and harshly than she'd intended.

“I want another chance. With us.” Sophie confesses and tucks a strand of blonde hair behind Bernie ear.

“Bernie?” Serena has been standing unobserved behind the pair, watching and listening. She had witnessed enough and has to intervene.

Both woman swivel at the intrusion and Bernie looks at the brunette with sad eyes.

“Could we talk for a minute?” Serena asks hopefully.

“I don't think we've been introduced.” Sophie steps up to Serena. “Sophie Davis, I'm Bernie's girlfriend.” She smiles and holds out her hand to Serena.

Serena regards the hand as if it might scald her if she touches it and fights to keep herself together as she throws Bernie a forlorn look. “Serena Campbell.” She croaks out and quickly shakes the offered hand.

“How do you know Bernie?” Sophie cosies up to the blonde, slipping her hand into Bernie's as Bernie goes rigid.

“I...well...I'm...we....” Serena flounders as she watches Sophie and looks beseechingly to Bernie for a definition of what they are to each other.

“Serena is a vascular surgeon at Holby. We met a couple of months ago through Alex.” Bernie tries to extricate herself from Sophie.

“Did someone say my name?” Alex appears with a smile. “Sophie, great to see you. Let me get you a drink.” She doesn't wait for the woman's agreement, just pushes her to the other end of the bar.

“Your girlfriend?” Serena’s voice is laced with pain.

“No. She was before. I haven't heard from or seen her in over a year. I though she was in Kiev.” Bernie explains.

“You never mentioned her.” Serena keeps her eyes on the floor.

“I don't know the names of all your exes. It hardly matters now.” Bernie sets her glass back on the bar and moves to find her bag.

“Dance with me.” Serena says the first thing that comes to mind, trying to keep Bernie there.

“What?” Bernie looks at her like she's gone mad. “No, Serena. I really don't think-”

“One dance. Please.” Serena pleads and extends her hand to the blonde.

“Why are you doing this?” Bernie can't help but wonder what this was about. Serena had barely looked at her all evening and now she wanted to dance with her all of a sudden.

“I just want to talk.” Serena moves her hand at her again.

“Fine.” Bernie sighs and shakes her head. “One dance. Let's get it over with so I can go home.” Bernie ignores the brunette’s outstretched hand and walks out onto the dancefloor.

Serena follows her into the middle of the floor and laces her hands around Bernie's neck. Bernie hesitantly sets her hands on the brunette’s hips.

“So you and Sophie are getting back together?” Serena asks but has no idea why.

“Looks like she wants to.” Bernie is watching her feet as they dance and it reminds Serena so much of the night they danced at the bar that she feels her eyes start to sting with tears.

“What do you want?” Serena feels physically sick waiting for Bernie's answer.

“I don't know. She showed up out of the blue and I haven't thought about her in months. I guess we need to talk everything out. But I'm not in love with her anymore. Friends maybe.” Serena could cry with relief.

“Alex told me that she was the one who was with Sian. I know it wasn't you. I'm sorry for doubting you.” Serena takes her chance.

“So you believed Alex over me. Again.” Bernie shoots her down.

“Bernie, please. I love you.” Serena clings more tightly to the blonde.

“But you just don't trust me.” Bernie starts to tug free. “I'm sorry, I really am. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. Goodbye Serena.” She turns to walk away from the brunette.

“Bernie, no please. Please!” Serena pulls her back in. “I love you and I know you love me. Just give me another chance.”

“You have no idea how much it hurt me that you didn't believe me, that you wouldn't even listen...” Bernie tries to untangle herself from Serena’s grip. “...I think we just got in too deep, too quickly. It would never last. I'm sorry.”

“Tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this. I can't lose you.” Serena tightens her grip as she feels Bernie slipping away.

“It's over.” Bernie removes Serena’s hand with her free one and leaves.

“No. NO!” Serena chases after her. “I love you. Let's go up to the room and I'll show you how much.” She places her hands either side of Bernie's face and kisses her deeply. She knows how pathetic she must sound but she can't lose Bernie.

“Don't do this, Serena. It's too late.” Bernie breaks the kiss and keeps walking, grabbing her bag on the way.

“What the hell was that?!” Sophie challenges Bernie, having seen the whole thing.

“Not now, Soph.” Bernie pushes past her ex.

“Why was she kissing you?” Sophie persists.

“I said NOT NOW!!” Bernie doesn't even turn around until Sophie grabs her. “Why are you even here?” The blonde snaps. “I don't want you here. We were done the second you got on that plane. Go back to Kiev!” Bernie is almost spitting with fury as she storms away again.

“Do you love her?” Sophie's face twists with sadness. She was too late...

When Bernie hears the question, it feels like a bolt of lightening, like the first time she's really considered the answer and she stops dead. Spinning to look at Serena still standing on the dancefloor, rooted to the spot, watching her and shaking with sobs. “I do.” Bernie takes a step back the way she came. “I really do.” And another step. “I love her.” She strides back over to Serena, who can only stare, not sure why Bernie is heading back towards her. “I love you.” She doesn't give Serena time to respond as she slams into her with a bruising kiss, the force almost knocking them over.

“Bernie...” Serena sighs out, breathless from the kiss. “...I love you.” She rests her face against the blonde's and smiles as she feels Bernie softly kissing her cheek over and over again.

“Let's go upstairs. I want you all to myself.” Serena's whole body floods with arousal when Bernie whispers the request into her ear.

They walk to the table hand in hand to fetch Serena’s bag and the room key before heading to the lift. Once the doors close behind them, Serena has Bernie pinned against one wall and is kissing her soundly. “You look incredible tonight.” She nips at the blonde’s bottom lip and dives back in.

“You are so beautiful.” Bernie pushes back against the brunette and presses her into the opposite wall. “Are you wearing the new underwear you promised me?” Bernie smiles into Serena's lips and kisses the air from her lungs.

“Only one way to find out.” Serena smirks as she pulls them out of the lift at their floor and they half run to the room.

Once inside, they kick off their heels and Bernie turns suddenly shy in front of Serena.

“I've missed you...” Serena unzips her dress to remove it and Bernie can only stare at the brunette in her underwear as the dress floats to the floor and Serena kicks it away. Bernie can hear her pulse thumping in her ears and feels like ever breath takes all of her strength. “...kissing you...” She brushes her lips gently against Bernie's. “...touching you...” She runs her hand up the length of Bernie's arm, relishing the resulting goosebumps. “...making love with you...” She reaches behind the blonde to unfasten her dress.

Bernie is left topless and in just her pants as her dress falls away to the carpet. She arches into the brunette as Serena bends slightly to focus her attention on her bare breasts. This woman did unbelievable things to her body and she could only revel in the sensations as she feels Serena’s mouth latch onto one of her nipples. There was nothing in the world that could make her think of anything but Serena's lips on her skin. “I...Serena...that feels amazing...” She whimpers when Serena releases her nipple and stands to come level with the blonde.

“I am so in love with you.” Serena frees Bernie's hair from its clip and scissors her fingers in the locks to pull her to her. They kiss and probe and touch for the longest time, just lost in each other.

“You ok?” Bernie feels Serena pull back a little.

“What about Sophie?" Serena didn't want to ask but she couldn't bear to see Bernie change her mind.

“I...really...? You want to talk about Sophie...now?” Bernie sees the look on the brunette’s face. “We were together off and on, mostly off, for about two and a half years. It was never serious, she wasn't looking for commitment and I was just swept up in her. We weren't very good together, we were convenient. We never lived together or anything. We were over long before she left if I'm honest with myself. It took me a while but I got over her. I haven't thought about her since before I met you, now you're all I think about. I'm not interested in a reconciliation with her. Her showing up tonight doesn't change how I feel about you.”

“Are you sure?” Serena looks worried.

“Serena Campbell, I am almost entirely naked in a hotel room with you. Do you really need to ask that?” Bernie grins as she moves to kiss Serena again and is delighted to see the brunette mirror the smile just before their lips touch.

“I just have one problem.” Serena breaks away but Bernie can tell by her tone and expression that she's teasing. “You're only almost entirely naked. Not good enough, Wolfe. I'm gonna need the whole thing.” They laugh into more kisses, as Serena leads them down onto the bed...

God this felt good, maybe it wasn't her brightest idea and maybe it was fuelled mostly by alcohol, but it was quickly becoming likely that she was about to have one hell of an orgasm. Possibly her best yet, thanks to the brunette working stridently between her thighs. Who knew that one woman's tongue could reduce her to this? It had never felt like this before. As she reached out to grasp a handful of brown hair she cried out. 

They were absolutely drenched in sweat and she seemed to be only able to breathe in short, sharp bursts. As she saw the woman look up at her with a dark, wicked quirk of her eyebrows, she knew this was it. She was going to make her come. Now. She held onto the hair between her fingers for dear life with one hand, while the other reached behind her to grip the headboard, knuckles white and straining, she uses the extra leverage to ride that ridiculously amazing tongue. 

“Oh right there. That's perfect. Fuck, don't stop. Don't fucking stop.” She begs as the brunette quickens her pace, fingers tugging almost painfully at her swollen, hard nipples. She wasn't kidding when she said she knew how to mend a broken heart. Ironically, she feels something else entirely inside her break, with one final lashing from that fucking impossible tongue on her pulsing clit.

“Oh fuck, yes!! Fuck me! I'm coming. ALEX!!!!” She felt amazing. How was she doing that? “Oh God, fuck me... Alex...” The room starts to swim back into focus as her heart beats a crazy rhythm against her ribs.

Alex grins into her and then works her way back up the other woman’s body. They were doing something very bad but it felt anything but, she’s not sure how they ended up here, if they should be here, her head was too heavy from all the drinking. They didn't even like each other, did they? She really can't remember and forgets to give a damn, as she reaches the woman’s face and moans as she feels her lick herself off Alex's mouth and chin. Fuck that was sexy!

“What are we doing?” She whispers into Alex's ear, there is a hint of uncertainty but mostly she just sounds playful, teasing. Alex wants her again.

“Do you really need me to explain it, Sophie?” Alex smiles as she makes her way back down the way she came. “Ok... let me show you once more. Pay attention this time.” She smirks and settles in to enjoy.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one got ridiculously long... Sorry!

Bernie and Serena had stayed up most of the night, drinking their champagne and feeding each other strawberries. They had ensured that the bathtub was thoroughly tested and had collapsed into a post coital slumber at some point afterwards.

Serena wakes first, unusually for her, and just lies staring at Bernie. She had almost lost her, even the thought was enough to fill Serena with dread. She curls herself more tightly around the blonde, kissing her hair as Bernie stirs slightly to smile at her, before they both doze off for a while longer.

Christ on a bike, her head was killing her, like someone was rather thoughtlessly playing the drums on her brain. Alex could feel the chill of the morning air on her left butt cheek and moved to cover herself with the sheet. Even that tiny movement made her feel a million times worse, as she muffled a pained groan into the pillow underneath her.

She hears a similar groan to her right, coming from the body beside her. “Urgh, too early. Too bright.” Sophie’s head pounded against her skull as the morning rays landed right in her eyes.

“Tell me about it.” Alex turned her face towards the voice and blinked away the vestiges of a dreamless but totally unrestful sleep. “Sophie?” Oh shit. It all came flooding back to her like a bad dream. She had slept with Sophie last night. Too much alcohol, not enough common sense. They had sat for a while at the bar and Alex had told Sophie that Bernie really cared about Serena and that they were good together. She had listened for a bit as Sophie lamented the end of her relationship with the blonde. Drinks had been consumed and woes shared, before she had offered to see Sophie up to her room. How she had ended up inside or who had initiated the sex was a blank. She did remember that it was great sex though... No, mustn't think about that. She'd slept with her best friend's ex. This was bad. Terrible even.

“Morning.” Sophie offered her a small, sheepish smile, obviously feeling as awkward as she did about last night. Oh God, she had slept with Alex Dawson. Not only Bernie's best friend, but also quite possibly the queen of one night stands and broken hearts, if she remembers the brunette correctly. They'd met a few times over the course of her intermittent relationship with Bernie but she didn't really know her that well. You know her a lot better now, she thought. Intimately in fact. She lifts the sheet to find that they are both still very naked and lets out another groan. Although it was quite a lovely naked body and it had done a fair number of not unpleasant things to hers last night.

“Do I...uh...owe you anything for the room?” Alex looks uncomfortable and flustered.

“Um, no. Just...no don't worry about it.” Sophie could die from mortification.

She watches the brunette get up and fumble around for her clothes. Sophie traces the other woman’s form with an appreciative eye and has to clear her throat and turn away sharply when Alex catches her staring.

“Do you mind if I...um...shower?” Alex wasn't normally this useless the morning after but she was kicking herself for what she'd done. How was she going to explain this to Bernie? The guilt made her feel nauseous and she really hated herself right now.

“Feel free.” Sophie smiles and slips out of the covers to retrieve her own clothes when Alex heads for the bathroom. She had to admit that it had been quite a night with Alex but they probably shouldn't do it again. Was she thinking about doing it again? Should she be? Was Alex? No, probably not.

“Listen. About last night...” Alex comes out fully dressed and slightly damp from the shower, drying off the tails of her hair with a towel.

“We were drunk.” Sophie offers.

“Very. Judging by this hangover.” Alex tries unsuccessfully to make light of things.

“We don't like each other...” Sophie continues.

“Exactly!” Alex is relieved they're on the same page, but neither would admit to the sting of the admission.

“Let's just pretend it never happened.” Sophie concludes.

“And Bernie...” Alex starts.

“Doesn't need to know.” Sophie finishes.

“If you think that's best.” Even Alex wasn't really sure about keeping this from her.

“I do.” Sophie slips past the brunette to go use the shower.

“Do you want me to order some breakfast or I can just...?” Alex points to the door indicating that she can leave, if that would be better.

“I'll go for the works. Full English and apple juice please.” Sophie puts in her order before heading for the shower.  
Alex phones down for room service and asks for two of what Sophie wanted. They had to eat after all. She refused to admit to herself that she wanted to stay in the other woman's company a little longer and she definitely wouldn't dwell on what that meant...

“At least we're doing the walk of shame together.” Bernie chuckles as they wander downstairs for breakfast in last night's clothes. Neither had expected to be staying, so they had nothing else with them.

“Come on then, I'm starving!” Serena smiles as they enter the restaurant. “Probably all that exercise we had last night.” She winks and pats Bernie’s bum as she heads over to the food.

Bernie holds back a few steps, silly grin on her face as she replays scenes from last night's ‘exercise,’ how did she get so lucky? She'd have to hang on to her this time.

“Aren't you hungry?” Serena turns back when she realises that Bernie is no longer beside her. She reaches her hand back for the blonde and beams when Bernie takes it.

“What do you want to do with the rest of our day off?” Bernie asks once they sit down to eat.

“We could have a look at the cinema listings? Obviously we'll have to go home to change. Do you have any plans already?” Serena asks.

“I hadn't made any arrangements to do anything. Maybe we could see if Alex fancies a drink later? I think we have some bridges to build.” Bernie shrugs shyly.

“I do owe her a beer for coming clean. She made a mistake and she knows that, but she wanted to put it right. I think her heart's in the right place when all's said and done.” Serena squeezes Bernie's hand affectionately.

“Maybe she'd like to bring Sian. She’s the first woman I've ever known her to sleep with more than once in a long time. Maybe it's serious enough.” Bernie didn't relish the idea of spending time with Sian but if she was important to Alex...

“If you like. Text her and see what she says.” Serena consents, not overly pleased to see Sian again either.

“You're kidding! Bernie never told me that story...” Sophie laughs when Alex tells her how they met.

“I’ve never told anyone and if you repeat it, I will come after you.” Alex warns jokingly. “It's weird that she never told you, she told Serena...” Alex may as well have cut off her foot and shoved it into her mouth. “Shit, sorry.”

“It's ok. It was a long shot coming back for her. It was homesickness as much as anything. We were never made for each other and I'm glad she's happy.” Sophie tries to be a grown up about things.

“You're being very mature about it all.” Alex smiles before shovelling a forkful of food in her mouth.

“What about you? Bernie always made you sound like a heart breaker. No one special?” Sophie takes a sip of her juice, watching the brunette intently.

“No one special.” Alex shrugs off the notion. “I'm not a ‘bring her home to meet the folks’ type. Haven't had a long-term relationship since I can't even remember.”

“Why not? You seem to have plenty going for you and I can see past all that bravado. I think you’d make a great partner for the right woman.” Both women blush at the sentiment.

“Just haven't found the right one then I guess.” Alex mops up the remaining juices on her plate with the last of her bread and hoovers it up. “That hit the spot!” She licks her lips and cleans up the ends of her fingers with her tongue. Sophie watches open mouthed and speechless, as parts of last night flood back into her memory.

She is startled out of her reverie by the beeping of Alex's phone.

B: Hey, Al. Serena and I were wondering if you want to go for a drink later. Say 8.30pm at Albies? Bring Sian if you like. :-)

“Bernie...” Alex explains. “Wants to go for drinks later.” Alex couldn't shake the idea that she didn't want Sian there.

A: Sure thing. Sian might be busy though. Cya then!

B: Ask her anyway. We should get to know your girl better! ;-)

She's not my girl, Alex wants to reply, but it might cause more questions than she could answer if she didn't bring her. And it wasn't like she could invite Sophie...

A: Ok, I'll check with her.

“Right. I'd best be off.” Alex clears away their plates and makes a fuss about checking that she hasn't forgotten anything. “I'll see you around, Sophie.” She smiles and heads for the door.

“Yes, you definitely will. I've been offered the paediatric consultant post at St James’, so we'll be seeing a lot more of each other.” Sophie smiles, suddenly pleased at that thought as she watches Alex leave.

“Sian not joining us?” Is the first thing Bernie says when Alex arrives later. Not the best start, Alex decides as she plonks herself down in one of the empty chairs at the table.

“She's on her way.” Alex tried not to grit her teeth in frustration, she didn't want Sian to be on her way, but it would look weird if she didn't invite her.

“You two are serious then?” Serena interrupts her inner musings.

“I wouldn't say that...” Alex glances at the door then and has to do a double take. “Sophie.” She looked good, Alex watched her all the way to the bar. She had to shake herself out of this, she was acting like she was attracted to Sophie. Was she?

Bernie and Serena turn to see Bernie's ex enter the bar. “She's not following you, is she?” Serena quips, only half joking.

“Not her style. She's probably just meeting friends. She texted me earlier to say no hard feelings. I think she means it.” Bernie holds Serena's hand reassuringly.

Sophie notices them all watching her but her eyes settle on Alex. The look that passes between them has both swallowing hard and having to force themselves to look away. Ok, so maybe she was attracted to Sophie. Get a grip, Alex. Best friend's ex. Definite no-no. She gives them all a small wave hello and Alex finds herself waving back like some lovesick teenager.

“Urgh.” Alex can't believe she's getting all doe eyed over a woman. Over this woman.

“You ok, Al?” Bernie looks concerned.

“Peachy. I'll get the next round in, yeah? Shiraz, ladies?” She smiles at the couple who nod.

“Hello stranger.” Sophie greets her with a smile. “Long time no see.” She winks at the brunette.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Alex returns the smile, every flirtatious quip, every smooth chat up line, every tried and tested dating technique she knows just falls out of her head.

“Waiting for some friends. Can I buy you a drink?” Sophie offers kindly.

“I got this. What would you like?” Alex turns to the barman. “Two glasses of Shiraz, a bottle of Bud and a...” She turns to Sophie.

“Pinot Grigio, please.” She confirms.

“...and a Pinot Grigio for the lady, please.” Alex hands over her cash and waits for the drinks.

“Here you go.” Alex passes over the wine glass to Sophie. “Enjoy your evening.” She balances the rest of the drinks in her hands and moves to head back to the table.

“Thank you, Alex. I owe you one.” Sophie smiles and kisses her cheek softly as she passes. Alex almost drops what she's carrying.

“My pleasure.” Alex mumbles as she flushes red hot at the contact and scurries off to her friends.

Thankfully Serena and Bernie are too wrapped up in each other to have noticed the exchange.

“Thanks, Alex.” Serena smiles as she sets one Shiraz in front of her.

“Yeah, thanks.” Bernie grabs the other Shiraz to free Alex's hands a bit.

Alex tries to concentrate on her friends, God help her, she really does. It's just that every time some jerk or other staggers up to Sophie and clearly tries to hit on her, Alex wants to jump up and deck them. She wasn’t used to feeling jealous, but she imagines that's what must be churning in her stomach right now. She wants to be up there with Sophie and the thought alone knocks the wind out of her. She didn't do this. Love ‘em and leave ‘em. No gooey emotional stuff and no seeing them more than once. Well, except Sian, but that was mostly stress relief and to piss off Bernie at the time. She needed to let this go, it couldn't go anywhere and it wouldn't lead to anything good, if Bernie ever found out.

“Well hello everyone!” Sian struts into the bar and over to their table then. “Hey, lover.” She startles Alex by planting a hot, deep kiss straight to her mouth. Alex doesn't want this, it feels nothing like kissing Sophie last night had. Even blind drunk, she knew it felt completely different. No kiss she'd ever had compared. She pushes away from Sian, disgusted with herself, a crazy idea that she was betraying Sophie stuck in her head.

Serena and Bernie watched the spectrum of emotions play out on Alex's face, confused that she'd almost immediately pulled away from the kiss.

Alex catches Sophie watching the whole thing, a hurt look on her face. “Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom.” She almost runs the whole way. Sophie had looked at her like she was betraying her somehow and Alex couldn't stand it.

Sophie sees the entire interaction and Alex's hasty retreat to the bathroom. She couldn't account for the strange, unexpected stab of jealousy that knifed through her as she's seen Alex lock lips with Geriatric Barbie. They'd had one drunken mistake of a night, she should not be reacting like this. And yet, her feet followed Alex totally uncalled for and completely of their own volition.

Alex splashes furiously at her face with cold water, before trapping the edge of the sink in a death grip, as she gives herself a stern talking to in the mirror. “You need to stop this, Alex. You slept with her one time. Well, several times...but one night. Pull yourself together. She's not interested and you can't be either. Best friend's ex, remember?” She curses herself, knowing she's not listening to a word.

“Are you talking to someone?” Sophie had heard the voice but thankfully not the words, as Alex jumps out of her skin when the other woman enters the bathroom.

“Shit! You scared me. Don't sneak up on people.” Alex's heart was beating wildly and not just from shock.

“Sorry.” Sophie smiles apologetically and locks the door behind her.

“Wha...w-what are you doing?” Alex trips over her question.

“No interruptions.” Sophie sets her clutch on the edge of the sink and stalks over to the brunette. “Who is she?” She pins Alex to the wall behind her.

“Who?” She was small but she was deceptively strong. Alex was trapped.

“The silicone on legs that was all over you out there.” Sophie obviously means Sian.

“You're jealous.” Alex observes, oddly pleased. Maybe she wasn't alone in this after all.

Sophie ignores her and begins undoing Alex’s jeans like a woman possessed.

“Sophie, I really don't think -” Alex tries to resist.

“Good. Don't think.” Sophie smirks as she slips her hand into Alex's underwear.

“Uhhhhh!” Is all Alex can say when Sophie’s fingers find her, sopping wet and ready. Her knees give way underneath her and she grabs for anything to hold on to as Sophie strokes at her perfectly.

The slight drop in Alex's height is welcomed by the other woman, who now gets to kiss her while she works her into oblivion.

This is more like it, Alex thinks as Sophie’s mouth moves against hers. This was nothing like kissing Sian. Or anyone. Sophie's kisses alone were enough to drive her mad. She was ruined for kissing anyone else. She didn't want anyone else to kiss her. She almost comes when Sophie’s tongue slips inside her mouth. She was in big trouble.

“Sophie. Oh my God. Don't stop. I'm so fucking close.” She breathes the words out around the other woman’s lips. “Please.” She is aware that she's begging. She never begs. Well shit, there really is a first time for everything.

“Are you going to see her again?” Sophie curls her fingers to rub against her deliciously.

“No. Never.” Alex needs to come, she can't stop it now.

“Right answer.” Sophie smiles into one final kiss, that swallows Alex's cries of ecstasy as she finishes her off.

“Jesus...that was...” Alex almost slides to the floor as her legs give up completely. “Fuck.”

“Have dinner with me tomorrow night?” Sophie asks the question against the skin of Alex's neck as she soothes her with gentler kisses.

Alex can only nod as her vision starts to clear. She's having trouble breathing and she could be having a heart attack, but it feels awesome.

“Here's my number.” Sophie grabs a pen and a scrap of paper from her bag to write the details out for the brunette.

“Thanks. I'll text you mine when I'm...” Alex takes the paper and waves her hand at the state she's in.

“I'll see you tomorrow night.” Sophie gives her one last soft kiss, washes her hands and goes back to her friends.

Alex takes a few steadying breaths and splashes her face with cold water again. She waits a few moments, so it looks less like she was just fucked into next week by the woman who left before her, and goes back to the table.

“Alright?” Bernie looks at her strangely, she was still flushed and a tad breathless.

“Yep. Fine.” Alex tries to smile but she feels like a shit friend again now, faced with Bernie. She locks eyes with Sophie and a telling grin breaks out before she can stop it, a grin that Sophie matches.

“Well, I think that you and I should go back to yours and have some fun.” Sian drags her out of the bar with barely a chance to wave to her friends.

“Sian. Look. It's been fun, it really has, but I think we just want different things...” Alex wants Sophie.

“Are you un-fuck buddying me?” Sian sounds incredulous.

“It's not you. It's me. I've met someone that I want to be more than fuck buddies with.” Alex never thought those words would ever pass her lips.

“Does she have a friend for me?” Sian raises an eyebrow, not entirely joking.

“I'll see what I can do.” Alex promises.

“It was fun while it lasted.” Sian hails a cab and blows Alex a kiss as she gets in. “Good luck with your new girl, sweetie.” Alex waves her off.

Fishing Sophie’s number out of her jeans she texts her.

A: No more silicone on legs! Here's my number. Looking forward to tomorrow night. Al x

She heads back in to her friends and Serena and Bernie seem surprised to see her again.

“No more Sian.” She sits with a ‘what can you do?’ shrug.

“I thought you liked her.” Bernie stands to get her round in.

“I've got my eye on someone else. This one could be serious.” Alex smiles and her eyes flick over to Sophie. The other woman was reading something on her phone. Maybe Alex's text. She smiles and begins tapping out something before looking up at the brunette.

Alex’s phone beeps in her pocket and she sees a text from the woman across the bar.

S: Glad to hear it! Let me know what the plans are for tomorrow night. Can't wait x

Alex looks back up to Sophie with a smile, both have a knowing look in their eyes as they watch each other.

“Beer for you, Al.” Bernie sets it in front of her, cutting off the eye contact with Sophie. A surge of guilt hits her in the gut. She tries not to think about what this might mean for her and Bernie. She was going to start dating her best friend's ex. It's not just her beer she finds hard to swallow for the rest of the night.


	12. Chapter 12

Alex looks at her phone again and a massive grin spreads across her face, as she starts to tap out a reply to Sophie's text.

“That's the third time you've done that since you got here 10 minutes ago.” Bernie nudges her friend playfully. “Who is she?”

“Who says it’s a woman?” Alex responds defensively, shielding her phone screen.

Bernie gives her a look that says she knows rightly that it is. “Oh please, it's written all over your face. So, do I know this mystery woman? You're not back with Sian, are you?” Bernie shudders at the prospect but recovers quickly, she'd be happy for Alex to settle down, even if it was with Sian. She hadn't seen that look on her friend’s face in forever and she obviously had it bad.

“No, it's not Sian.” Alex needs to tell her. “Listen, Bern the thing is... It's So -”

“Hello you two! Sorry I'm late...last minute call into surgery.” Serena joins them at the table for lunch. “How are you?” Serena reaches for Bernie to kiss her softly. “Hi Alex. Didn't know you were working today.” Serena pecks the brunette on the cheek.

“I'm the anaesthetist on call today. Figured I'd hang around here in case they need me and meet Bern for lunch.” That was mostly true, she also hoped she might bump into Sophie before dinner tonight. It was her first shift since she'd come home from Kiev.

“Do you know who Alex's mystery woman is?” Bernie shares the gossip.

“Oh, you've met someone! Do we know her?” Serena gives Alex an excited look, eyebrows raised.

“Well, actually, I was just telling Bern here that it's So -” Alex’s pager beeps and cuts off the confession. Bollocks. She glances down at the message and has to leave. “See you later.” She waves distractedly at her friends and rushes up to paeds. Sophie’s ward...

“Ok, Dr Dawson. Sorry to call you up, but we seem to have run out of anaesthetists today.” She stands beside Sophie as they scrub in. “10 year old involved in RTC, brought in with severe internal injuries. We need to open her up and see if we can repair the damage. No known allergies or heart problems.”

“Got it. I'll set her up and see you in there.” Alex nods that she's good to go and heads into theatre to get the girl prepped.

They work tirelessly for the rest of their shift to save Katie Jenkins, but it seems like every time Sophie and her registrar find and close one wound, another one comes to light. The girl crashes four times and they fight to bring her back each time, but the final time it's just taking too long. After almost an hour of shocking and CPR, Sophie has to call it.

“It's no use, we need to stop.” She says, even as she continues to massage the young girl's heart. “Time of death...” She looks up at the clock. “...8.16pm. Thank you everyone for your effort.” She pulls off her mask in temper, they should have been able to save her.

“I'll inform the parents.” The registrar offers.

“If they ask for me, I'll be happy to speak to them.” Sophie confirms as she heads to scrub back out. “Fuck!” She throws her gloves and gown in the bin provided, scrubbing furiously at her hands as she lists out everything she did wrong.

“You did everything you could. I know that doesn't help, but you gave her the best chance, there were just too many injuries.” Alex comes in after her and tries to offer some support. “The first patient you’ve lost since you came back, it's bound to be tough.” Alex squeezes her shoulder.

“She was 10, Alex...” Sophie sinks to sit leant against the far wall.

“You fought hard for her and sometimes that's not enough. It sucks!” Alex sits next to her.

“Yes.” Sophie laughs in spite of herself. “It does.” She leans her head on Alex's shoulder as she tries to gather herself. “Thanks.” She lifts her head slightly to smile at Alex.

“Any time.” Alex returns the smile. “About dinner... maybe we should leave it for another night...” Sophie looks at her as if she knows she's being turned down. “...I'm not cancelling, just postponing. This was a crap end to your day. Go home, have a long, relaxing soak in the tub, glass of wine... I dunno, whatever you normally do to unwind. Take it easy. We can have dinner during the week some time.”

“Alright.” Sophie is too shattered to argue and a lovely big bubble bath sounds perfect really.

“Come on, let's get changed. I'll give you a lift if you like?” Alex helps her up off the floor.

“My car...” Sophie starts to protest.

“Are you in tomorrow?” Alex counters.

“Yep. First thing, 8am.” Sophie answers.

“I'll pick you up and bring you back in.” Alex offers kindly.

“That sounds lovely. Thank you.” They walk together to the locker room, Alex holds the door open for her.

“If you have a preferred night for dinner, just give me a shout.” Alex lifts her scrub top over her head and starts to change back into her clothes.

“Alex, I just wanted to apologise for last night.” Sophie plucks at imaginary fluff on the scrub top in her hands.

“Why?” Alex turns to her puzzled.

“I guess I came across as some crazy stalker, possessive type. I had no right to make you feel like you had to break up with that woman.” Sophie pulls her own shirt back on and begins to button it. “I don't know what came over me.”

“It wasn't serious anyway. I would have done it sooner or later. You're not to blame. It wouldn't have gone anywhere.” Alex pulls on her jeans and throws her t-shirt on over her head, following it with her shirt. “Don't worry about it.” She puts her wallet and phone in her pocket and leaves the pager behind in the locker. “I won't lie and I'm sure you know from Bernie, I've slept with a lot of women. I've rarely been in a relationship and I'm not going to pretend I have the first clue how to be a real girlfriend. If that means you’re not interested, then I completely understand.” Alex looks despondently at her sneakers.

“Why don't we just take it one date at a time?” Sophie tucks the collar of the brunette's shirt down, smoothing the fabric with her fingers. “I'm no relationship expert.” She gives Alex a soft smile when she meets her eye.

“I tried to tell Bernie about you today at lunch. I don't feel right keeping it from her.” Alex’s eyes dart over Sophie's face, trying to read her reaction.

“If that's what you have to do. I'm not trying to come between you.” Sophie assures her that she's fine with whatever she chooses. “Come on, I need to drop by the office and grab the rest of my stuff.”

“Ok.” Alex follows her out. “Apart from Katie Jenkins, how was your first day?”

“Not too bad, thanks.” Sophie makes sure her computer is shut off, slings her bag over one shoulder and has a quick word with the night shift before heading with Alex to the lift.

“Where do you live?” Alex looks to Sophie once they're inside her car.

Sophie gives her the address and they fall into comfortable silence as Alex drives.

“How about Tuesday night for dinner?” Sophie asks after a while. “I finish at 6pm if that's good for you?”

“I'm on until 7.30pm but I can meet you afterwards. Anywhere in mind?” Alex turns into Sophie’s street.

“There's a nice pub by the post office. It always did good food. My parents still take us most Sundays for lunch. Mum takes the day off from cooking. The Speckled Hen it's called.” Sophie suggests.

“Ok. Shall I pick you up or meet you there? Maybe 8pm?” Alex agrees.

“I'll get a taxi, you don't need to drive. That way you can have a drink if you want.” Sophie starts to get her things together as Alex pulls up to her house.

“Great, 8pm, The Speckled Hen, on Tuesday night.” Alex smiles in confirmation. “And I'll swing by and pick you up in the morning. Say 7.30am?”

“I'm on to you, Alex Dawson.” Sophie grins and Alex’s forehead creases in confusion. “You’re not fooling me with the bad girl act. Really you're a sweetheart.” Sophie leans in and kisses her gently on the cheek. “Goodnight.” She beams as she pulls away.

“Goodnight, Sophie. See you tomorrow.” Alex grins like an idiot as Sophie climbs out of the car and walks up to her front door.

She turns to wave at Alex before going inside, smiling as Alex waves back before driving off.

The smile sticks as Alex makes her way home. It was the first time she could remember being happy not to be invited in to spend the night. In fact it hadn't even crossed her mind to suggest it. It was quite possible that Sophie Davis was something special and she was having a positive effect on her already.

Sophie closes the door behind her and smiles to herself. Alex was lovely and she could feel herself becoming very attracted to her. Who would have thought that she'd come home for Bernie and end up with the womanizing best friend? The thought tugged at her conscience though, she wouldn't want to cause any problems for the two friends. And what if she ended up just another notch on the brunette’s bedpost?

Shaking off the doubts, she grabs something light to eat and goes upstairs to run that bath. As she lets the water ripple through her fingers to check the temperature, she decides to take her own advice and just go from date to date with Alex and see where it goes. There was little else she could do and she had to admit that she couldn't stop thinking about her. That had to mean something...

As she undresses, ready to step into the bath, her phone buzzes in the bedroom. She wanders in to check it, smiling when she sees that it's Alex.

A: Home again. Any requests for breakfast tomorrow? I could pick us up some coffee and whatever you fancy from a local bistro x

S: Black Americano, two sugars and surprise me with the food. Thanks x

A: Aren't you sweet enough? Lol

S: Nice try, Dawson! :-p

A: Take care, sweet dreams x

S: You too, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow x

Both women go to bed happy and excited that night.

“So, who do you think Alex is seeing? She's playing it close to her chest. I've never seen her like this.” Bernie ponders as she and Serena climb into bed. “I saw on her screen, her name is listed as ‘S’ but she insists it isn't Sian.”

“Not guilty!” They both giggle at Serena's comment. “A woman's name starting with ‘S' could be anyone.”

“I hope she's serious about this one. I'd like to see her settle down and be happy.” Bernie cuddles up to Serena. “Maybe even as happy as we are.” She smiles and kisses the brunette softly.

“You make me very happy, Bernie Wolfe. I'm not sure Alex and her secret lover could match this.” Serena moves to straddle the blonde’s hips.

“Come here you.” Bernie pulls Serena down to her and kisses her thoroughly. “I vote against pyjamas from now on.” She tugs the brunette’s t-shirt off with a cheeky grin.

“I concur.” Serena removes the blonde's vest top and shorts to kiss over her warm skin. “We will just have to find other ways to keep warm.” She beams as she bends to kiss the blonde and gasps as their bare breasts rub together, the resulting friction making her feel incredible. “Have I told you how much I love you?” She fixes Bernie with a warm gaze.

“You might have mentioned it once or twice.” Bernie smiles that lopsided smile that just makes Serena love her more. “I'm very much in love with you too.” She helps Serena out of her pyjama bottoms and tickles her fingers back up the brunette’s legs and settles to cup her bum cheeks in her hands. Serena squeals in surprise when Bernie suddenly flips them so that she is on top. “Hello beautiful.” Bernie bumps Serena's nose with her own and kisses her gently.

“You're the beautiful one.” Serena traces the back of her pointer finger over Bernie's face. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Bernie's brow furrows in question.

“Loving me. Not giving up on me when I doubted you. Not being the kind of person who would betray me the way I thought....” Serena's voice fails her and Bernie can see tears brimming in her eyes.

“Someone did though.” Bernie wasn't asking and her heart breaks as Serena takes a shaky breath and nods. “I will never ever do that to you. I promise. My heart belongs to you. I hope you know that.”

Serena nods again and she can actually feel the love in the blonde's eyes. “And mine belongs to you. Always.” She allows the blonde to kiss away her worries.

Bernie shows her with every touch, every kiss and every look, just how much Serena means to her. It is so soft and gentle and loving, that Serena cries when she comes, overwhelmed by the strength and depth of feeling between them. Bernie holds her close and lets her cry, running her hands through her hair and soothing her with words of love and soft kisses.

“I love you.” Serena whispers into the blonde’s skin as she clings to her.

“I love you, Serena.” Bernie holds her as they both start to drift asleep, making sure that she knows she is safe and loved for long as she’ll have her.


	13. Chapter 13

“Hi!” Alex greets Sophie when she opens the door, holding up her offerings. “One large, black Americano with two sugars.” She hands the cup over.

“You are a lifesaver.” Sophie smiles and takes a satisfying gulp of her coffee. “Hmmm, that's good! Thank you.” She starts to walk back into the house. “Come on in.” She calls over her shoulder.

“I have a bacon sandwich or a sausage sandwich. You're not vegetarian or anything? I guess I didn't think of that...” Alex scratches her head and looks a little worried that everything she’d brought definitely had meat in it. “They had pastries, I knew I should have bought some...” She could kick herself.

“No this is great, not vegetarian. Don't panic.” Sophie takes the bag and signals for Alex to have a seat at the dining table. “Which one do you want?” She grabs a couple of plates and offers one to the brunette.

“I'm easy. You pick first.” Alex takes the plate with a nod of thanks. “Sauce in there too, red or brown. I grabbed plenty of both.”

“Fantastic. I'm starving.” Sophie lifts one of the wrapped sandwiches and checks what it is before selecting her sauce. “You on shift today?” She arranges her sandwich with the sauce now inside and takes a healthy bite, looking to Alex.

“Yeah 9am-6pm.” Alex does the same with her sandwich and digs in. “This is a nice place you have.” She says through a mouthful of food.

“Thanks. I'm lucky that the tenants who were here while I was away saw fit not to trash the place.” She smiles at the other woman, even with a face full of bacon sandwich, at this time of the morning, she was gorgeous.

Alex catches her watching and assumes it's because of her lack of table manners. “Sorry, my Mum would kick my ass if she saw the state of me...” She grabs a napkin and starts wiping at her mouth. “...and for talking with my mouth full.”

“Do your parents live nearby?” Sophie sips at her coffee.

“Yeah. Just two streets away actually. Yours?” Alex looks up from her sandwich.

“Over by the old mill. Brothers and sisters?” Sophie takes another bite, this sandwich was delicious.

“One sister, two brothers. All younger than me. Married, kids, the whole shebang. I'm the black sheep.” Alex says it as a joke but there’s a hint of sadness there too. “You got any siblings?”

“Yep, older sister, younger brother. I'm stuck in the middle. Same as you, both married. Lydia has kids, but Pete and his wife have just started trying.” Sophie explains.

“Not the marrying type or...?” Alex finishes off her sandwich and takes her plate to the sink to rinse through.

“I think I was too much of a career girl. Never been with anyone who made me think about wanting those things. I'm 41 now, I guess it's a bit late but never say never.” Sophie shrugs and drinks the rest of her coffee. “What about you?” She joins Alex at the sink to wash her plate.

“I always thought I had more time I suppose. Never stayed with one woman long enough to find out if it was headed there. They were all just for fun really. I guess I need to start growing up, huh?” Alex leans on the worktop behind her. “43 and never had a serious relationship. Don't know what that says about me.” She fixates on the floor tiles, a little embarrassed by the sum total of her life to date.

“Well, we're a right pair. Aren't we?” Sophie dries off her hands and stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss Alex on the cheek. “Thank you for breakfast.”

“You're welcome.” Alex turns to catch her eye and her gaze flicks between her lips and those huge blue eyes of hers. Alex knows she wants to kiss her but she pulls away. “Look at the time. Best get you to the hospital, can't keep you late on your second day.” Her smile doesn't go all the way to her eyes as she backs off.

Sophie ignores the sting of disappointment, she had thought Alex was about to kiss her. She had wanted it, she had seen that Alex did too, but something had changed the brunette’s mind.

“Sure. Let's go.” Sophie heads out to the hall and throws on her coat, lifting her bag from it's place on the hall table. She tries to stamp out the hurt, but it swims along with the butterflies in her stomach. They had been having mind blowing sex two days ago and now Alex couldn't bring herself to even kiss her. Maybe it was just a drunken mistake, but it didn't feel that way anymore for Sophie. Did it for Alex? But they'd been sober at Albies... Sophie’s mind raced with all the possibilities, perhaps she had read the woman wrong, had she just agreed to dinner out of politeness? Maybe she really was trying to turn her down yesterday in the scrub room.

Alex drove them to the hospital in silence, unlike last night, this silence was heavy and uncomfortable. She had almost kissed Sophie. What stopped her? She knew now that she was attracted to her. But what could Alex really offer her? She was rubbish at anything beyond one night stands. She couldn't do that to this woman. Could she be someone’s girlfriend? Partner? She wouldn't know where to start. Sophie deserved better than that. Better than her. Not to mention the fact that she was Bernie's ex. Could she go there? Would Bernie hate her? Would Sophie constantly be comparing them? The thought made Alex shudder.

“Is something wrong?” Sophie sees the other woman shake. This was it. The ‘it's not you, it's me' speech. Sophie inhales deeply and braces herself.

“Sophie...the thing is...well, I just...” Alex glances between her and the road. “What I'm trying to say is...” Alex huffs as words leave her altogether.

“We're not going for dinner tomorrow, right?” Sophie hazards a sensible guess. “It's fine, Alex. Just drop me here and I can walk the rest of the way.” Sophie points to a safe place to stop the car.

“Sophie -” Alex feels like a cad.

“Save me the ‘it's not you, it's me’ ok?” Sophie pulls her bag up from the foot well, ready to jump out when Alex parks.

“Just let me explain -” Alex reaches for the other woman’s hand.

“I understand. This is what you do, how you operate. It's not like you weren't up front about it. Quick fuck and then see you around. Got it.” Sophie scrambles at the door release, trying not to let Alex see how upset she was. It made no sense to be this worked up.

“Wait, Sophie. Please. I'm sorry.” Alex calls after her as she watches her walk away. “Well done, Dawson.” Alex berates herself as she thumps the steering wheel. “You just did what you always do, you stupid asshole!” Alex looks at her reflection in the rear view mirror. “Go after her.” She commands herself. Alex speeds off to find a parking space and catch Sophie.

“Come on, Soph. Get a grip. It's Alex Dawson, what did you really expect?” Sophie tries to talk herself round as she walks. “Three days ago you hardly knew she existed and now look at you. This is what she does. You're nothing special.” Sophie chokes on the thought, as ridiculous as it sounded, she wanted to be something special to the frustrating, gorgeous, hopelessly flawed, surprisingly sweet, mess of a woman.

“Sophie!” Oh God, here she comes. Sophie wipes quickly at her eyes and tries to breathe normally. She quickens her pace, maybe she could get away from her. “Sophie. Hang on. Just give me a minute to explain.” Alex wraps her hand around Sophie’s wrist.

“No need. It's not like we were exclusive or even actually dating each other.” Sophie smiles unconvincingly and tries to pull free. “I'm going to be late. Just let it go, Alex.” Her eyes plead with the brunette.

“I don't want to let it go.” Alex steps in to face Sophie. “I want to do this.” She places her hand in Sophie's hair at the base of her skull.

“Alex I -” She is cut off by Alex's mouth covering hers and kissing her soft and slow and full.

They stay there, locked in their tender kiss for what could easily be an eternity but it seems to end in a flash.

“Come for dinner tomorrow. We should talk. I want to be better at this. Not made the best start, I know, but I'll keep trying.” Alex vows to try harder from now on.

“I'm going to be late.” Sophie repeats and Alex’s heart drops like a stone, she'd wrecked it. “8pm tomorrow night. Be there.” Sophie's tone is a warning.

“I will. I swear.” Alex smiles, relieved that she was getting a chance to prove herself. “Hey, Sophie.” Alex has a sudden thought, calling after Sophie, and the woman turns back to her. “Do you have a favourite flower?”

Sophie looks confused. “Not sure. I like red roses or cerise gerberas. Why?”

“Just thought I should know these things about the woman I'm dating.” Alex looks like the cat that got the cream.

Sophie's grin is impossibly wide as she shakes her head at the brunette. Alex Dawson was a mystery, wrapped in an enigma and, if she could help it, Sophie was going to be the one to figure her out.

Alex is on cloud nine after that. She saunters into work almost an hour early and is actually whistling as she changes into her scrubs.

“You're very chipper this morning. And aren't you on at 9am?” Bernie looks to her watch and back up at her friend.

“Yep. Just in a good mood is all.” Alex shrugs the scrub top over her head and locks her clothes away in her locker.

“Something to do with this ‘S' on your phone?” Bernie teases.

“Bern, I need to tell you something.” Alex knows she deserves to know. To hear it from her.

“Can it wait? I'm about to head into theatre.” Bernie changes into her own scrubs. “Lunch?”

“Yeah. Ok. Sure. I'll see you at lunch.” Alex looks partly anxious, partly relieved.

“Everything’s ok though, yeah?” Bernie seems worried.

“Nothing to worry about.” Alex tries to reassure her.

“Are you with me today or upstairs?” Bernie says on her way out the door.

“Upstairs, I think.” Alex smiles and waves her friend off.

They never get the chance to have lunch, both stuck in surgery for most of the day, working well over their shift times, only passing each other on the way home.

“Hey, sorry about lunch. You wanted to tell me something?” Bernie heads to the locker room as Alex leaves it.

“It can wait. You seeing Serena later?” Alex knows she shouldn't put it off but they're both exhausted.

“Should be. We're going to the cinema tomorrow night if you wanna join us?” Bernie smiles warmly at her friend.

“Can't. Busy. So you're happy with her? Things are going well?” Maybe she would be fine about Sophie, if she was serious about Serena.

“Things are great. It's been almost three months now.” Bernie beams. “Plans with ‘S' eh?” She nudges her friend playfully.

“Yeah, dinner. So you think Serena is The One?” Alex wants to be sure.

“I'm sure of it.” Bernie slaps her gently on the shoulder. “You on tomorrow? I'll buy you lunch and you can tell me your news.”

“10.30am-7.30pm. Sounds great. See ya tomorrow.” Alex confirms.

“Night, Al.” Bernie throws over her shoulder, heading into the locker room.

Alex brings out her phone and texts Sophie.

A: Hey. I was thinking of telling Bernie about us tomorrow at lunch. Do you think it's too soon? X

Sophie doesn't answer until Alex is already home.

S: Sorry, stuck in theatre. Well, it's only our first date but whatever feels right. Do you want me to be there? X

Alex hadn't thought of that...

A: Would that be better?

S: Not sure....

A: Maybe we should wait and see how things go between us first??

S: Ok. If you want me with you when you talk to her, just let me know x

A: Thanks. Cu tomorrow night x

S: Can't wait x

Alex puts her phone on her beside table and settles in to watch some TV before bed. Her mind focuses very little on what's happening on the screen, she wishes she knew when was the right time to tell Bernie. What should she say?

Not really watching what was on, she shuts off the TV and changes for bed. It takes her quite some time to fall asleep, pummelling her pillow to get comfortable at various times, and it's anything but a restful night.


	14. Chapter 14

Alex tries to stifle another yawn as she struggles to function after such a terrible night's sleep.

“Keeping you up am I?” Bernie teases and sets the tray of lunch in front of her friend.

“Thanks. Just didn’t get much sleep last night.” Alex takes a gulp of coffee, willing the caffeine to kick in.

Bernie raises both eyebrows at the brunette. “Anything to do with Ms ‘S'?”

“No. Just stuff on my mind.” Alex shuts that conversation down straight away.

“So, you gonna tell me whatever it was you wanted to yesterday?” Bernie looks up at Alex expectantly as she bites into her sandwich.

“It's about the woman I'm seeing. What the ‘S' stands for... It's very early days and who knows if it will go anywhere... I just thought that you should know, before you hear it elsewhere...” Alex takes a deep breath, here goes nothing. “...it's -”

“Someone help. Please! He's choking!” A woman at another table shouts for help for her husband.

“Sonofa...” Alex follows Bernie over to help.

“What's his name?” Bernie asks as she begins assessing the man and commencing abdomen thrusts, trying to dislodge whatever was stuck in his airway.

“Tom. Oh my God he's going blue!!” The wife becomes hysterical.

“Alex, get a tracheotomy kit. Now.” Bernie lies the man flat on his back to check if she can see the obstruction. 

"Tom can you hear me? Nod if you can hear me.” Nothing. Bernie checks for sighs of breathing. None. Pulse is very slow but present.

Alex rushes back in with the kit, opening it and sliding it to Bernie. She holds Tom's head in position so that Bernie can work.

“Ok. I'm in.” Bernie waits for Tom to take a breath. The man gasps and splutters, flailing around as the air reaches his lungs again. “Can we get a trolley please?” Bernie hollers to the staff that had been alerted by the commotion. “Mrs...um...” Bernie turns to Tom's wife.

“Walters.” She offers.

“Mrs Walters. I'm going to have to take Tom in for a small operation to take whatever is stuck in his throat out and stitch his wound. If you'd like to follow us up, you can wait for him on the ward.” Bernie explains. “Ok, on my count let's get him on the trolley.” Bernie looks to Alex and they slide Tom carefully on, before it is extended to pushing height.

They fix Tom in no time and have him back on the ward to see his wife as soon as he's ready.

“Thank you.” She squeezes first Bernie's and then Alex's hand in turn, before going back to Tom.

Bernie requests half hourly obs and a check of his pain meds in another hour. With any luck he'd be home tomorrow and heading to his GP for suture removal in about 3 weeks. She makes her notes in his chart and heads off.

“Sorry, you wanna tell me what you were going to early?” Bernie smiles and pats Alex’s back to prompt her and leads them back to her office.

“I'm not sure if I should now. Someone might get hurt again.” Alex jokes, suddenly panicked.

“Al, what's going on?” Bernie looks concerned.

“I hear you pair are quite the heroes.” Sophie stands smiling in the open doorway.

“Hey Soph.” Bernie smiles warmly at her ex, while Alex does her best impression of a deer in headlights. “What brings you down here?”

“Need a second opinion. You got a sec?” She hands over the chart to the blonde.

Bernie takes in the details. “How close to the left lung? Might be better to have CT take a look.” Bernie lifts her head.

“X-ray shows a bit of leeway. Thought I'd check what you think from a trauma angle.” Sophie smiles and glances over at Alex, her smile widens.

“I can examine him, but let someone in cardio know, just to be on the safe side.” Bernie gives her honest assessment.

Sophie nods and lets Bernie go ahead of her up to paeds, with a parting wink at Alex.

Alex is sweaty and breathless by the time they leave. She couldn't do this. It would easily be the death of her. Bernie needed to be told before Alex gave herself some sort of cardiac episode. She is saved from having to dwell on it by being called into theatre.

She is scheduled to be with other consultants for the rest of her shift and doesn't see Bernie before she leaves. Alex finishes on time and heads home to change quickly before meeting up with Sophie.

Bernie and Serena meet in town once their shifts end, heading for the cinema hand in hand.

“You want to grab a takeaway afterwards and head back to mine?” Bernie suggests as they reach the door of the cinema, holding it open for the brunette.

“Lovely.” Serena smiles and goes to the kiosk for their tickets. “I'll get these, you get dinner?” She raises an eyebrow in question.

“Deal.” Bernie replies. “Do you want popcorn or anything?”

“Please.” Serena follows her over to the queue.

They had chosen a comedy and were settled in with their snacks, huddled together happily. Laughing and whispering between themselves, they thoroughly enjoy the film.

“I think something’s up with Alex.” Bernie mentions as they walk, elbows linked, back to their cars.

“Is she ok?” Serena turns to study the blonde's face.

“She seems a bit nervy and she keeps saying she wants to tell me something but we get interrupted and she puts it off.” Bernie gives her the idea. “It's about whoever this ‘S' she's dating is.”

“She doesn't really do commitment I gather. Maybe she’s worried about how to go about being in a serious relationship.” Serena hypothesises.

“Maybe...I'm no guru. Not sure why she'd come to me.” Bernie knows her awkwardness hasn't led to many long-term relationships.

“We're in a serious relationship. I like to think.” Serena shoves her gently. “You must be doing something right.” She smiles over at the blonde. “And you were with Sophie for quite some time...” Serena trails off, still not sure how to feel about the other woman’s return.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about there. I hope you know that.” Bernie senses the brunette’s unrest. “I love you. Sophie hasn't brought it up since, I don't think she will. You're who I want, Serena.” Bernie stopped them so that she could slip her arms around the brunette’s waist and kiss her. “There's no one for me but you. Only you.”

“I know...I just...” Serena can't find the words. Bernie hates to see her upset.

“Is this about an ex? You never did tell me who hurt you.” Bernie remembers what had happened the other night.

“We were together for almost 15 years. She cheated on me with several people. I came home early from a shift one night and found her in bed with someone else. It all came out then, all her secret affairs.” Serena tells the blonde.

“Oh Serena, I'm so sorry.” Bernie wraps her up in a fierce hug.

“It was a while ago now, I got over it.” Serena buries her face in the side of the blonde's neck, breathing her in to calm herself with Bernie's unique scent. “I guess it's made me more cautious, more suspicious. I overreacted when I saw you with Sian, I just thought...I should have known you're not her, you would never do that.” Bernie squeezes her to her more tightly.

“Never.” Bernie replies emphatically.

“And to think I could have ended up with Alex.” Serena huffs out a laugh and Bernie kisses her forehead.

“She seems serious about this new one. Who knows?” Bernie shrugs and Serena moves to hold hands as they walk the rest of the way to the cars.

“You head for food and I'll grab some stuff from home. Meet you at yours in 15 minutes.” Serena stretches away to break their hand hold but Bernie hangs on.

“Are you ok?” She grips Serena’s hand a little tighter momentarily.

“I am now that I have you.” Serena smiles and kisses her gently. “See you in a bit.” She releases Bernie’s hand but they both keep their arms extended towards each other as they part.

Alex is second to arrive at the pub, a little after 8pm. She notices Sophie wave to her from a table in the corner and heads towards her. As she walks, she takes in the other woman: dark, almost black hair in a bob cut, the most piercing blue eyes Alex had ever seen, she was wearing black skinny jeans and heels with a soft grey blouse. She looked fantastic.

Sophie returns the favour as Alex strides in her direction. Hair similarly cut to hers but a few shades lighter, eyes a striking mix of blue/green/grey, she was wearing jeans and converse, with a dark grey button up shirt. Sophie thought she was stunning.

“You look great.” Alex smiles and signals to ask if she wants a drink. “Pinot Grigio?”

“Yes please.” Sophie was inwardly impressed that she had remembered what she drank.

Alex drapes her jacket over the back of her chair and goes to the bar to order drinks, coming back with two menus tucked under her arm as well.

“Thanks.” Sophie smiles up at her as she accepts the wineglass. “So did the rest of your day measure up to the heroics in the canteen?”

“It was Bernie mostly. I was just the sidekick.” Alex chuckles and sips at her beer. “It would seem that every time I try to tell her about us, we get interrupted by medical emergencies.” She sighs, knowing she needs to tell her friend.

“Maybe do it outside of the hospital.” Sophie suggests with a sly smile.

“Fair point.” Alex laughs at that. “I might just wait. Like you said, this is our first date. You could never want to see me again after tonight.” Alex tries to joke but she hopes it doesn't happen that way.

Sophie glances up through her eyelashes at the brunette. She sincerely doubted the night would end like that, she certainly hoped not.

“What's good here?” Alex clears her throat, trying not to focus on the look coming from the other woman, and buries her head in her menu.

“We normally come on Sunday, they have a carvery then. Never eaten from the menu.” Sophie stares at Alex over the top of her own copy.

“It all sounds good.” Alex gazes up and catches Sophie's eye, looking away shyly straight away.

“Relax, would you?” Sophie smiles kindly. “I can't image this is what you're normally like on dates.”

“I’m trying not to be that Alex. You just make me nervous, ok?” Alex confesses. Sophie looks perplexed by that possibility, so Alex continues. “Well, usually I'm just trying to skip all this...” She sweeps her hand over the surroundings. “....less of the dating and just the fastest route to bed.” She flushes at how that makes her seem. “I don't want to be like that with you. I've no idea how to go about it and it terrifies me. I'm plain useless at this stuff, but I want to get it right.”

“I still want you to be yourself, feel comfortable. Don't go tying yourself in knots, dates are for having fun, getting to know one another. I'm not trying to scare the life out of you.” Sophie's face is open, soft and Alex feels some of her tension ease.

“So, have you always lived in the area?” Alex tries to shift the focus back to the date.

Sophie appreciates the effort. “More or less. I grew up about 20 minutes away, my parents moved when we all left home. Got something smaller. You?”

“Yep. My parents still live in the house we grew up in. Plenty of space for all the grandkids to run around like crazy.” Alex laughs at the memory.

They pause for a minute to give the waitress their order. Alex opts for the bacon cheeseburger with chips and Sophie chooses the chicken goujons, herbed potato cubes and a sweet chilli dip.

“Have you got many nieces and nephews?” Sophie rests her chin on her hand and sips at her wine.

“Hoards!” Alex giggles. “Both my brother's have two: Ben has twin boys, five years old; Craig has one of each aged 7 and 4. Then my sister has two boys and a girl, they're 6, 3 and 18 months.” Alex counts them off on her fingers.

“Are you cool Aunt Alex?” Sophie grins.

“Something like that. What about you? You said that your sister has kids...” Alex had really been paying attention.

“Yeah she has two girls who are 5 and 2. I'll have more I'm sure, since my brother and his wife are trying now. The girls are great, I missed them when I was away.” Sophie turns away when she mentions Kiev.

“I guess you missed Bernie too. That's why you came back?” Alex keeps her eyes firmly on the beermat she was now picking at.

“At first I thought so. She and I were never really suited, she's great but in all the time we were together, I don't think either of us said that we loved the other. I can tell already that what she has with Serena is so much more, deeper than what we had. I have no intention of staking some kind of claim when she's so obviously happy with someone else. When I could have the same with someone else too.” Sophie wonders if the woman opposite her now could be that someone.

“She was pretty torn up when you left. I'm not sure how she'd react if she thought you and I were...” Alex is interrupted by the arrival of their food. “She is so happy with Serena though.” Alex hadn't seen Bernie much with Sophie, but she could tell that they'd never seemed as happy.

“Is this going to be a problem, that I used to be with Bernie?” Sophie would rather know now.

“I don't like keeping it from her. But I don't want to tell her and then we don't end up going anywhere. I don't want to lose my best friend and I guess it is kinda weird to think of you together.” Sophie thinks that Alex is brushing her off and, in spite of the short amount of time they'd known each other, it hurts. “But there's something about you. I can't deny that I'm attracted to you. I'd very much like to see you again, get to know you better.”

Sophie lets out the breath she'd been holding. “I'd like that too.” She beams at the brunette.

“That was delicious.” Alex glances down at her empty plate. “Dessert?” She looks over to Sophie who is almost finished hers as well.

“Why not?” They ask the waitress if they can take a look at the dessert menu.

They chat and eat dessert and stay for a couple more drinks, before ordering a taxi home.

“Coffee?” Sophie pulls Alex out of the car with her once they reach her house and pay the driver.

“Sure.” Alex agrees as she is dragged up to the front door.

Sophie leads them into her hallway. “I have no intention of making us coffee.” She confesses with a dark look, before pressing up to kiss Alex deeply.

Alex is lost in the contact and it isn't until her jeans are around her ankles that she snaps back to reality. “Wait, wait. Sophie. Hold on a sec.”

Sophie stops to look at the brunette. “What's wrong?”

“I want this. I really do want you, but this is what I always do. You deserve someone who knows you're worth more.” Alex runs her fingers through Sophie's hair. “I want to be that someone. I think we should wait.”

“You know we've already slept together.” Sophie counters.

“I want more than drunken sex and a quickie in the toilet at Albies.” Alex rests her forehead against the other woman’s.

“You mean that? You're not just fobbing me off because you don't want me?” Sophie looks so small and vulnerable and Alex's heart melts.

“I'm serious. I want you, but I want the whole thing. I want to go on dates with you and maybe meet your family some day and...and...I don't know, all the things grown ups do in a relationship.” Alex confirms with a soft kiss. “Now, can I pull my jeans up please?”

Sophie’s resulting laugh sounds beautiful to the brunette’s ears and she starts to laugh too. “Come on. I'll make you that coffee.” She smiles over her shoulder and heads for the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15

“I cleared a drawer out for you.” Bernie nods over to the tallboy as she kisses a path between Serena’s bare shoulders while they cuddle the next morning. “Second one down.” She smiles as she traces the brunette’s spine and watches her squirm at the touch.

“Hmmmm.” Is Serena’s only reply as she shifts further into the hold and Bernie kisses her neck. Both delight in the press of the brunette’s curvaceous rear to Bernie's front.

“I think our no pyjamas policy was a stroke of genius on both our parts.” Bernie smiles into Serena's skin and strokes her curves with the tips of the fingers of one hand.

Serena’s breathing picks up speed when the blonde teases her fingertip around one of her nipples without touching it. “Please.” She gasps as the waiting to be touched becomes too much. “Bernie, touch me.”

“I am touching you.” The blonde teases and Serena groans in frustrated arousal. “Maybe you should be more specific.” Bernie chuckles as she continues her delicious torture.

Serena has had enough and spins towards the blonde and pins her to the mattress with a crushing kiss, before sliding her wet core along Bernie's bent leg from knee to hip, leaving her skin slick with Serena.

“You're so wet.” Bernie marvels at the feeling of the fluid now coating her flesh, pupils blown and eyes dark.

“Fuck me.” Serena begs out from between gritted teeth, as she rocks against the blonde's body to search out any kind of friction. “I need you. Bernie please.”

“Serena...” Bernie feels her own centre flood as the brunette grinds and ruts on top of her. She puts Serena out of her misery by lifting the brunette gently to slide her hand her between them, and enters her with two fingers, while her other hand plays with the brunette’s breasts.

“Yes!” Serena hisses out her pleasure and shamelessly rides the digits. “Bernie, I love you. I love you.” She leans forward and kisses the blonde passionately as she fucks herself down onto the fingers inside of her.

“I love you too.” Bernie murmurs around the kiss and matches the brunette’s rhythm and force with her own upward thrusts. “Come for me. I love watching you come.” She adds her thumb to the equation and starts to rub perfectly at Serena’s clit.

“I....uh....hmmm....don't stop. Don't stop. Don't please. Don't stop Bernie. I'm...” Serena shudders and rolls her hips faster to find her release. “Coming!” She stares straight at Bernie, almost unseeing, with wide eyes as she takes everything she can from her climax. “Bernie...”

She slows and flops down on top of the blonde. Bernie can feel Serena's heart beating wildly against her chest and her heavy pants tickle at the crook of her neck as Serena buries her face there.

Bernie slowly removes her fingers and strokes her other hand soothingly along the length of her back and kisses her sweaty forehead softly. “You look so beautiful right now. That was amazing.” Bernie whispers into her hair and wraps her arms around her, holding her as close as possible.

“I'm sure I look a sight.” Serena giggles. “But that was definitely amazing. And since we have a rare day off together, I think we would spend it in bed.” She emphasizes her point by kissing her way all over Bernie's front and finally settling in between her thighs.

“Uh huh.” Bernie vehemently nods her agreement as Serena caresses and kisses the insides of her thighs. “Oh God!” She yelps when the brunette enters her suddenly with her tongue and begins slowly fucking her with it. “Oh yes, Serena. Uggghnnn, God. Yes. That's fucking perfect.” Bernie lifts up on her elbows so that she is watching Serena work her towards oblivion. “You are so fucking good at that. Serena!” She grabs a handful of short brown hair to hold Serena in place. She moans at the loss when Serena slips her tongue out of her, but it is short lived as the brunette licks from her entrance up to circle her clit, before flicking at it with the tip. Her tongue being replaced with three fingers inside of Bernie. The blonde drops backwards onto her pillow, as her arm stops holding her up to thread her fingers through her own hair as she hurtles toward orgasm.

Serena ups the pressure on her clit by flattening her tongue and lapping at the area and thrusts mercilessly at the blonde with her hand.

“I'm fucking coming!” Bernie yells into the room all of a sudden and bucks up into the brunette. “Oh shit, I'm coming in your mouth.” For some reason that thought makes Bernie even more aroused as she goes rigid and her toes grabs chucks of bedding as they curl uncontrollably.

Serena slows and pulls away when the blonde becomes too sensitive to be touched anymore. She lies back down beside her, pulling Bernie into her embrace and wraps her limbs around the blonde to hold her to her as she shakes with aftershocks.

“Oh Serena...that was the best orgasm I've ever had.” Bernie confesses, with a nervous giggle at her own honesty. “I love you.” She goes completely limp in the brunette’s arms as her body gives in to sated exhaustion.

“And I love you.” Serena smiles and kisses her gently. “Let's just cuddle for a while, eh? I think someone might be headed for a nap.” She looks fondly at the woman in her arms, as Bernie's eyelids droop tellingly, a drowsy smile on her lips.

“Sure. If you're tired.” Serena laughs at that and strokes the arches of the blonde's brow until she is basically asleep.

"You are the love of my life, Bernie Wolfe.”

The only response from the blonde is a quiet hum and a small smile that tugs at the corners of her mouth, as she curls herself more tightly around Serena as she sleeps.

Alex and Sophie had agreed to see each other again that night and Alex had chosen the date this time.

S: What should I wear? Where are we going?? X

A: Just dress casual. I'm still not telling you! X

S: Please??!! :-(

A: You'll find out soon enough x

Alex pulls up to Sophie’s door at 7pm as promised and grabs her gift before jumping out of her car and running up to ring the bell.

“Hey Alex.” Sophie smiles as she answers the door. “ You wanna come in for a sec? I'm almost ready.”

Alex produces the bunch of cerise gerberas from behind her back to surprise the other woman. “These are for you.” She beams at the look of delight on Sophie face.

“Oh Alex, they're gorgeous! Thank you.” Her smile is wide and bright as she stretches up kissing the brunette’s cheek gently. “I bet you buy these for all the girls.” She quips with a wink as she heads off to puts them in some water.

“Actually, I've never bought a woman flowers before.” Alex admitted with a blush.

Sophie is very touched by the gesture and chastises herself internally not to keep assuming that she was getting the same treatment as every other woman Alex had been with. Alex had said she was different and she was really trying to show her. “I love them. Thank you.” She grins again as she lifts the vase she'd placed them in to set in the middle of her dining table.

“I'm glad you like them.” Alex feels fit to burst with pride.

“Just wait here and I'll grab my shoes and bag and then we can go.” Sophie dashes upstairs to fetch her things. “Ok, that's me. Let's go.”

“Great. You look amazing by the way.” Alex looks a little shy and Sophie mumbles her thanks for the compliment.

“You look great too.” Sophie flushes and starts to head for the door. “Where are we going then?”

“You'll see when we get there.” Alex follows her out and heads to the passenger door to hold it open for Sophie.

They chat animatedly about their days as Alex drives them to their destination. “Here we are.” She announces as she parks up at the venue.

“Bowling?” Sophie looks from the building to the brunette.

“Well, I thought it might be fun. We can go somewhere else if you don't like the idea. I just...we can go...” Alex suddenly doubts her choice and moves to restart the car.

Sophie places her hand on the brunette’s thigh to halt her actions. “I'd like to give it a go. I haven't been bowling in a long time. I'm sure I'll be rubbish but it should be fun.” She enthuses to calm Alex's nerves.

“Are you sure?” Alex still looks a bit uncertain.

“Let's do it!” Sophie steps out of the car to encourage Alex to follow suit.

Alex gets out after her and they walk side by side over to the bowling alley.

They get set up with a lane and take some time choosing which ball suits them best.

“Couldn't we have the side bumpers?” Sophie pouts as her first ball goes straight into the gutter.

“Here, let me help you.” Alex steps up to stand behind her. “Right, try you middle fingers and thumb in the holes so that you can grip the ball with the rest of your hand.” Alex suggests. Sophie does as instructed. “Ok. Great. Now, if you just lift the ball up behind you and swing through, then let it go.” Alex presses herself against Sophie's back and covers her hand to show her the movement. Sophie tries to concentrate on the instructions, but just feels Alex's warmth and touch and becomes totally distracted. For Alex's part, she gets lost in all the smells of the other woman and they just end up standing together, hands touching and staring into each other's eyes. “Right, just try that.” Alex steps away, breaking the moment.

Sophie does it the way Alex showed her and gets 4 pins this time.

“That's it. A couple more tries and you'll be a pro.” Alex smiles and moves up to take her turn. She gets a spare.

“No fair. You never said you were brilliant at this.” Sophie fake sulks, with her arms crossed for effect.

“I have 7 nieces and nephews, I get a lot of practice.” Alex shrugs and lets Sophie take her go.

Sophie gets progressively better as the game goes on and they find themselves laughing hysterically and really enjoying the game. Sophie steps up to take her penultimate turn and somehow manages a strike.

“You did it!” Alex races up behind her and lifts her by the waist, twirling her around as she squeals with glee. “Great job!” Alex sets her back down and unthinkingly places a delicate kiss to the side of Sophie's neck, breathing her in. God this woman was intoxicating.

Sophie stills at the contact and feels her knees go weak at the touch, leaning further into the brunette’s hold. Her body thrums with excitement just at that small connection of skin and she has to swallow the moan bubbling in her throat. She silently sends up a hope that Alex won't make them wait too long to make love. Even the thought that she felt that's what they would be doing made Sophie realise that she was getting in deep already. Could Alex tell what she was doing to her? Did she feel it too?

They caught each other’s eye, lips only a breath apart from this position. It would be ridiculously easy to close the gap...

“Hey, you mind if I take this ball?” One of the guys from the lane beside them forced them apart.

“No, no problem. Work away.” Alex clears her throat and tries to steady her breathing and heart rate as she takes stock of their surroundings.

“Guess it's your turn.” Sophie has a slightly stunned look on her face, as she too seems flustered by the intimate moment.

“Ahem, yeah. Sure.” Alex scrabbles to pick up her ball, hand sweating and slippery. She rubs it on her jeans and tries again.

They play the rest of their of game in heightened awareness of the other's scrutiny, neither could deny that they wanted the other. Alex wins easily but has the good grace not to make a fuss of it.

As they fall into step back to the car, Sophie chances an idea and threads her fingers through Alex's to hold her hand. Alex looks down at their joined hands and back up to Sophie, she falters for a step or two but then just gives Sophie's hand a light squeeze and swings their hands happily between their bodies as she walks.

“Does the winner get a prize?” Sophie pulls on Alex's hand to leverage herself up to whisper in her ear. Her voice oozes suggestion and seduction, low and husky. Alex’s throat goes unbearably dry at the implications of her words.

“Like what?” Alex throws out, trying to sound casual, disinterested as her pulse pounds in her ears.

Sophie presses them against Alex's car when they reach it and gives her the softest, sweetest kiss she's ever had. “How's that? For starters...” Sophie's eyes shine with mischief and longing as she lets Alex go around to the driver's side and open the car.

The atmosphere is thick with unspoken anticipation as Alex drives them back to Sophie’s.

“Have you had dinner yet?” Sophie asks as she unbuckles her seatbelt when they stop at her door.

“Nope.” Alex isn't sure her voice works anymore, she was still breathless from that kiss.

“You wanna come in? I could cook or we could order something?” Sophie suggests.

“Sophie, I -” Alex isn't sure if that's a good idea.

“I know we're waiting, it's ok. I'm just offering dinner, not trying to jump you.” Chance would be a fine thing, she laments. But she knows she's said the right thing when Alex nods and they head inside.

Alex casts her eyes skyward at her own unusually chaste behaviour. What was it about this woman? She wasn't sure how long she could expect them to wait, she wasn't even sure she wanted them too anymore. Little did she know that her thoughts were shared by Sophie as they stepped into her hallway


	16. Chapter 16

One month later

Bernie and Serena had both had shifts from hell, when they decide to meet at Serena's for some dinner and hopefully copious amounts of Shiraz.

Bernie drags herself up to the brunette’s doorstep and rings the bell with her last ounce of strength.

“Oooh, bad day too?” Serena reaches for her when she sees the blonde on her front step.

Bernie feels like her head might fall off as she nods her response. 

“Come in. I have leftover spag bol. Thank God! I don't think I could cook.” Serena heads back to the kitchen to heat up the pasta.

Bernie slumps onto the brunette’s couch and tries to stay awake long enough to eat anything at all.

Serena brings the plates through and they eat in exhausted silence but feel better for having food in their bellies.

“I feel a bit more human now.” Bernie smiles and offers to do the dishes. Serena brokers no argument, too shattered to even think about the dishes. She does follow the blonde back to the kitchen so that she can sit with her while she works. She just rests in a chair admiring the blonde, and thinking about how much she loves her, when the words are out before she considers them.

“I want us to move in together.”

Bernie’s head snaps round to Serena, not sure her tiredness hasn't got her hearing things. “What?”

“I've been thinking about it. We're always in and out of each other's house. I rarely spend a night without you and I don't want to. I'd like us to live together. Here or at yours, it doesn't matter.” Bernie can tell by Serena’s face that she is deadly serious.

“I...um...well...” Bernie stumbles over her answer before her heart speaks for her. “Yes, I'd love that.” She beams as Serena stands to throw her arms around her and kiss her, her own hands still soaking in the dishwater. She finishes the dishes with Serena still clinging to her and dries off her hands so that she can reciprocate the hug.

“Shiraz to celebrate and we can iron out the details?” Serena turns to fetch their glasses and open a bottle, when the doorbell makes them jump.

“You get that and I'll do this.” Bernie takes the corkscrew from the brunette and kisses the tip of her nose.

Serena is still beaming as she swings the door open but the smile soon fades when she sees who it is.

“Hi ‘Rena.” The woman seems pleased to see her, Serena cannot say that the feeling is mutual.

“Helen...what are you doing here?” Serena’s face turns thunderous. How dare she show up after all this time. Why now?

“I just wanted to see you. Can I come in?” She pushes past Serena without waiting for an affirmative.

“Helen, I really don't want you here. You've seen me, now you can leave.” Serena points to the street beyond the still open door.

“Don't be like that, ‘Rena. I know you've missed me as much as I've missed you.” The woman catches Serena completely off guard, as she pins her to the wall behind her and kisses her roughly.

The smashing of the glasses of Shiraz onto the hall floor brings reality crashing down around them, as Bernie stands just staring disbelievingly at the two women.

Bernie is frozen in agony for a split second before her feet move her, ignoring the shards of glass crunching under her boots or the Shiraz flowing over the wood, she grabs her coat and bag and runs for the front door.

“Bernie. No, Bernie.” Serena chases after her. “She just showed up, she took me by surprise. I didn't kiss her back. Please, Bernie.” Serena grabs at the blonde to make her stop.

“Who is she?” Bernie's eyes blaze with anger and betrayal and pain.

“Helen. She's the ex I told you about.” Serena holds on more tightly to her.

“She obviously wants you back.” Bernie’s voice is low and defeated. She tugs out of the brunette’s grip and she jumps into her car, locking it quickly to stop Serena following her.

“Bernie!” Serena pulls on the door handle. “Open the door, please! I'm not going to go back to her. I love you.” Serena thumps at the passenger window and continues to try the handle. “Please, Bernie. Don't go!” Serena becomes frantic when the blonde starts the engine and puts the car into gear. “Stop! Bernie! Stop!” Serena has to let go as the car takes off.

Bernie sees her in the rear view mirror running after the car, screaming something unintelligible to the blonde.

Serena chases after her until her legs give out and she has to stop. She sinks to her knees and keeps shouting for Bernie to come back long after her car has disappeared from view.

With a flick of her wrist, Alex extinguishes the match in her hand. She rhymes off a mental checklist in her head, everything had to be perfect. It was the one month anniversary of hers and Sophie's first date and she had arranged to cook them a special meal to celebrate. It was a small milestone for most, but this was new to Alex. A whole month of dating the same woman and she was loving every second. Her dining table had an actual tablecloth on it, something Alex had previously never owned, and was lit by candles and decorated with a few red roses (one of Sophie's favourites) in a slim vase in the centre. She had prepared a three course meal singlehandedly, despite the fact that her toaster and microwave were usually her appliances of choice. Alex had even been to the local jewellers to buy a gift for the other woman. She just hoped Sophie like it, liked all of it really. Maybe she had gone over the top. Too late now, Sophie would be here any minute.

As if conjured by the thought of her alone, the intercom buzzes and the woman herself is at Alex's door.

“Hi.” Alex opens the door to let her inside and, as always, finds herself uncharacteristically shy in front of the other woman. “You are even more beautiful than normal tonight.” She takes in all of the woman at her door. Sophie was wearing a fitted black dress, from chest to shoulder the dress changed from satin to an almost see through chiffon, with tiny stitched flowers at intervals on the mesh. Matched with pale pink patent court shoes and clutch, Alex knew with total certainty that she was the most gorgeous woman she had ever seen.

“You look gorgeous too.” Sophie replies and beams at Alex's attention. Alex had chosen to wear a matching dress trousers and waistcoat set in a charcoal grey, with button down shirt, sleeves rolled up past her elbows underneath and black leather boots.

“Come on in.” Alex becomes conscious that they are just standing in her doorway and extends her arm towards the lounge to welcome Sophie inside. “Wine?” Alex had chilled a bottle of Pinot Grigio ready for Sophie’s arrival.

“Please.” Sophie watches her grab the bottle from her fridge, uncork it and pour two glasses before setting it in an ice bucket on the table. It's then that she sees all the effort on the brunette's part. “You've gone to a lot of trouble. This looks fantastic.” She takes in the flowers and candles, was that a tablecloth?

“No trouble.” Alex lifts her glass to clink with Sophie’s. “Here's to our first month together.” She grins at the thought.

“First of many.” Sophie returns the smile and taps her glass against Alex's then takes a sip.

“I hope you're hungry. I've been cooking up a storm all day.” Alex heads over to her oven to check on everything, setting her glass on the side as she bends to look through the glass of her oven, opening the door to start dishing up.

“This all smells delicious.” Sophie waits until she stands up again and spins to face her, giving her a deep kiss. “No one has ever done anything like this for me.” She murmurs around Alex's mouth. “Thank you.” She kisses her again before giving the brunette room to work. "What are we having?” Sophie eyes all the offerings with excited eyes.

“Well, for starters I've made a warm goats cheese salad.” Alex arranges everything on the plates and carries them over to the place settings. She slides Sophie's chair out for her and helps her to sit, dropping a kiss to her hair as she moves to sit opposite her. “Dig in.” Alex smiles and begins to eat her own.

“Hmm, this is good!” Sophie says around a forkful. “If anaesthesiology doesn't pan out, you could become a chef.” She enthusiastically clears her entire plate.

“I've never cooked dinner for anyone before.” Alex confesses, finishing her own salad.

“I feel suitably special in that case.” Sophie beams as she pushes her empty plate away slightly.

“You should. You are. Special, I mean.” Alex looks up shyly at Sophie and flushes red. “I got you something. To mark the occasion.” She clears away their plates and rushes off to fetch her present. She sets the beautifully wrapped jewellery box in front of Sophie. “They wrapped it at the shop, that wasn't me...” Alex rambles nervously. “I hope you like it. Maybe I'm not the best at buying gifts...” Stop talking Alex, she berates herself silently.

“You didn't have to buy me anything. I wasn't sure if we were exchanging gifts...I didn't get you anything.” Sophie looks touched and ashamed that she came empty handed at the same time.

“That's ok.” Alex shrugs, she didn't mind. “I just saw them and thought of you.”

Sophie carefully opens the gift, glancing up at Alex every so often. She lifts the lid of the box to reveal a pair of silver drop earring with diamond teardrops on the end.

“If they're not your thing, it's fine. You can just choose different ones...” Alex takes Sophie’s silence as a bad sign.

“They're beautiful.” Sophie strokes them gently with her fingertip. “I don't know what to say. Alex, this is very generous.” Sophie knows they must have cost a fortune. “I...thank you.” She stands to come over to the brunette’s side of the table. “Thank you, they're gorgeous.” She lets Alex pull her into her lap and drapes her arms around her neck, kissing her soundly.

“Try them on.” Alex smiles into another softer kiss.  
Sophie lifts them out of the box and lets Alex help her to put them on. “How do they look?” She turns to the brunette with a small smile.

“Beautiful.” Alex never takes her eyes of Sophie’s, barely registering the earrings. Sophie's resulting smile makes Alex's heart soar. She holds Sophie to her in her lap and they kiss softly for the longest time until the oven timer goes off. “Ummm...” Alex is loathe to break the kisses. “...I need to get that...” Sophie isn't giving up their perfect kisses easily, as she keeps hold of the brunette and presses her lips more tightly to Alex's. “...Sophie, I need to make sure it doesn't burn...” Sophie punctuates each of Alex's words with more searing kisses.

“Fine. This isn't over...” She lets Alex up but pulls her in for one more bruising kiss to make her point, before reluctantly releasing her. “What's the main course?” She plonks herself down in her own seat again and takes a drink of her wine.

“We're having steak and mash à la Alex.” Alex looks back to her dinner companion with a wink. “How do you want yours done?” Alex checks that her worktop grill is heated enough and turns to Sophie.

“Medium please chef.” Sophie giggles as Alex grabs her ‘kiss the cook' apron and puts it on over her head. “If you insist.” Sophie stalks over to the brunette and does as the apron asks.

“We have cheesy mash and fried onions and mushrooms, baby carrots, green beans, broccoli and cauliflower. Sound ok?” Alex splashes a smidge of olive oil on her griddle and fires on both steaks, alongside the onions and mushrooms. “Gravy is just Bisto, I'm afraid.” Alex gives her a ‘can't have everything’ look. She checks on everything else and starts to plate up while the steaks cook.

“This is shaping up to be the best dinner I've ever had.” Sophie wraps her arms around the brunette’s waist and sneaks a quick kiss behind her ear. “I know what I want for dessert.” She whispers hotly into Alex's ear and brushes her lips down the column of her neck. She had waited long enough this past month and now she just wants Alex. Tonight.

Alex has to grip onto the edge of her worktop as Sophie’s mouth leaves delicious goosebumps in its wake, the significance of her words glaringly clear. They had both been surprisingly patient, given how keyed up they seemed to make each other. Alex forgot dinner entirely as Sophie's efforts could quite easily make her forget her own name. She was so turned on by the other woman at this point, it would probably take embarrassingly little to push her over the edge. The soft kisses on her neck were proving very effective, if the throbbing wetness between her legs was any indicator.

The damned oven timer interrupts them again and Alex begrudgingly tears herself away to dish everything out, throwing her apron on a spare area of worktop.

“Et voilà. Steak and mash my way.” Alex sets the plates down with a flourish. “I have a bottle of red, if you'd prefer it with the steak?” She pulls Sophie’s chair out for her again.

“I prefer my white but thank you.” Sophie sits with a bright smile. “This looks incredible. Thank you for all this.” She tucks in with gusto.

“You're welcome.” Alex pours them some more wine and starts to eat her own dinner. “Dessert is profiteroles and honeycomb ice cream. The ice cream is not homemade. I'm only so good.” Alex chuckles.

“This is really wonderful, Alex. What a lovely way to celebrate our anniversary.” Sophie’s look is soft and happy.

“I have to admit that this is probably my longest relationship in forever. Pathetic, huh?” Alex tries to sound jokey but she knows how that revelation makes her look.

“Hey. You've nothing to be hard on yourself for. You'd hardly be the only person alive with few long-term relationships under their belt.” Sophie reaches for the brunette’s hand and Alex gives it gladly. “Besides, I've enjoyed this past month with you more than the rest of my other relationships added together. I really like you and that has nothing to do with how long we've been together.” She rubs her thumb over Alex's knuckles.

“I really like you too, Sophie.” Alex smiles and laces their fingers together. “Don't let your dinner get cold.” She lifts their joined hands and kisses Sophie’s before going back to her food.

They let their mains settle for a while and curl up bare foot on the sofa, kissing lazily and pretending to watch some TV.

“Will the profiteroles and ice cream keep?” Sophie asks, her lips swollen almost painfully from all the kissing. Most of her lipstick is now on Alex's face.

“Yeah. Should be fine.” Alex replies as she watches Sophie stand from the couch.

“I know I didn't get you a gift, so maybe I can make up for it.” Sophie unzips her dress and lets it pool around her ankles on Alex's floor.

Alex can only stare wide eyed and open mouthed at Sophie in her underwear. She extends a hand to the brunette and pulls her up to her level. “Are you sure?” Alex has to restrain herself from touching everything on offer, she doesn't want Sophie to feel pressured in any way.

“Where's the bedroom?” Sophie launches herself into Alex's arms and loops her legs around her waist, kissing her deeply.

Alex stumbles slightly at the force but she soon finds her feet again and walks them towards her bedroom, one hand tangled in Sophie's hair, the other holding her in place and returning her kisses with interest. She feels dizzy at the prospect of what they were about to do. Just seeing Sophie almost naked had her reeling, she wasn't sure how she was going to survive actually touching all of her.

Sophie makes light work of the buttons of Alex's waistcoat and shirt, tugging it out of her trousers and moving her kisses downwards to the brunette’s bra clad chest as Alex carries her to the bed. Alex does her bit by unclasping Sophie's bra and freeing her perfect breasts, before shuffling back off the bed to remove her own clothes and crawling back to Sophie in just her underwear.

“You should know...” Alex starts to pull out of their kiss to explain herself. “...I wasn't trying to seduce you...with dinner and the earrings. I didn't do it so we would end up here. I don't want you to think you have to return the favour by doing this. We don't have to do this if you're not completely sure.” Alex looks so sincere and genuine, that Sophie feels the first sting of tears in her eyes.

“I want you.” Sophie replies and pulls Alex down on top of her. “I don't want to wait anymore.” She moans into the room as Alex's hand runs over her bare breast, making her nipple stiffen and pebble with sheer desire. “And in the spirit of honesty, I should tell you...” Sophie keens as Alex takes the nipple into her mouth, her body jolts with endless pleasure, like she is on fire in the best possible way. “...I lied earlier...” She gasps out as Alex releases her nipple to look into her eyes. “...I don't really like you...” Alex’s eyes dart over Sophie's face, confused and hurt. “... I love you.” She kisses Alex softly. “You don't have to say it back. It's alright. I just want you to know. I love you, Alex.”

“Sophie...” Alex starts to say something back but the door buzzer goes. “For fuck sake!” Alex considers not answering, but whoever it is isn't giving up. “I'd better see who that is. I'll get rid of them.” Alex kisses Sophie and throws on her robe as she heads towards the door.

“Hello?” Alex says into the intercom.

“Al, it's Bernie. Can I come up? Please.” 

Shit. Fuck. Bollocks. Alex tries to think of an excuse not to let her in.

“Please, Alex. I've split up with Serena.”

Alex drops the phone in shock as all her colour drains. She knows she can't turn her away. Picking the handset back up, she does the only thing she can.

“Sure, come on up.” Alex presses the door release and wonders what the fuck she's gonna do now...


	17. Chapter 17

“Bernie's here.” Alex comes back to the bedroom holding Sophie's things. “Get dressed.” She hands them over to the other woman and starts pulling her own clothes on too.

“She doesn't know about us. I thought you were going to tell her.” Sophie looks stung. “Are you ashamed of me?”

“What? No!” Alex is firm, certain. “Absolutely not. I've been busy with you and she's always with Serena. We haven't seen much of each other and I wanted to tell her in person, that's all.”

“Now's your chance.” Sophie throws Alex's shirt at her, obviously annoyed.

“I can't. She's upset. She just broke up with Serena.” Alex explains as she does up her buttons. She was worried that she was just a rebound, and now that Bernie was single again, that she was the one Sophie really wanted.

“What?” Sophie sounds stunned. Alex panics that she's right. This was the opportunity Sophie was waiting for.

“I don't know the details yet.” Alex shrugs and tucks her shirt into her trousers just as the doorbell rings. “Stay here.”

“Stay hidden, you mean?” Sophie snaps.

“Please, Sophie. This isn't about us. You really think that now is the time to tell her?” Alex reasons.

“Fine.” Sophie sits on the end of the bed, cross armed.

Alex kisses her forehead and goes to let her friend in. “Come on in, Bern. You want a drink?”

“Better not. I drove here.” Bernie takes in the apartment. “You have company...” She sees the flowers and candles on the table, the remnants of dinner and pink shoes that were definitely not Alex's by the couch. “...I can go.” The last thing she needed was an awkward meeting with one of Alex's floozies.

“Oh...um...yeah. Anniversary dinner.” Alex says without thinking and then curses herself.

“With Ms ‘S' huh? How long now?” Bernie smiles, she never thought she'd see the day.

“A month.” Alex stands looking uncomfortable and fidgety.

“Where are you hiding her?” Bernie looks around for the mystery woman.

“Bern, hang on.” Alex flails as the blonde sees the open bedroom door.

“Oh...you were...I'm interrupting your....um...” Bernie starts to back up to the door.

“No, Bern. It's fine. Why don't you sit and tell me what happened with Serena?” Alex steers her to the sofa.  
Bernie breaks when she hears Serena's name and tells Alex the whole thing.

Alex takes it all in and listens until she's sure the blonde has finished. “Well, it sounds like this Helen just kinda showed up unannounced and cornered her. I think she just sprung it on her, but it doesn't sound like Serena wanted to kiss her. You should talk to her.”

Bernie’s phone rings for the umpteenth time and it's Serena again. She rejects the call and lets Serena leave another voicemail, to go with the others and the string of text messages too. “Can I stay here tonight? Serena might go to mine and I can't face her right now. I need to sort out my own thoughts first.”

Alex’s eyes flit nervously to her own bedroom. She'd never get Sophie out now.

Bernie follows Alex's gaze. “Why don't you bring her out? I'm sure she doesn't want to hide in your room all night, and I'd like to meet the woman who finally tamed you.” Bernie bumps her friend's shoulder.

Alex has no choice but to tell her now. “You know her already.” She hangs her head in shame, this was not how she wanted her best friend to find out.

“I do? It is Sian, right?” Bernie looks expectantly at the brunette.

Alex shakes her head and stands to go get Sophie. “I tried to tell you...” She goes into the bedroom and comes out hand in hand with the other woman, both staring intently at the floor. “...it's Sophie.” Alex shifts from foot to foot and waits for it.

“Sophie?” Bernie repeats as if she's heard wrongly, but she can't have because there she is beside Alex. “My ex Sophie?” Bernie says the words but they feel foreign and heavy on her tongue, as if she's not entirely convinced they're real. She stares between the two women in front of her and down to the joined hands in the middle. “You're not serious?” Bernie backs away from the pair, not sure that she can label the feelings swimming inside of her.

“I didn't want this to be how you found out -” Alex steps away from Sophie to approach her friend.

“How was I supposed to find out? Handwritten letter? Sky writing? Just walk in on you fucking her like all the others?” Bernie spits out.

“I wanted to tell you, I tried so many times -” Alex starts to defend herself.

“Not hard enough.” Bernie cuts her off. “How could you keep this from me? For a month!”

“I'm sorry.” Alex knows it isn't good enough but what else can she say?

“You're sorry?!” Bernie huffs out an incredulous laugh. “You tried to punch me when you found out about Serena and now you do this!”

“No-one needs to punch anyone.” Sophie intervenes, threading her arm through Alex's in support. “We should have told you but this isn't just Alex's doing, I'm as much to blame.”

“No. You...” Bernie points to Alex. “...were supposed to be my best friend. You...” She jabs her finger again at the brunette. “...should have told me.”

“I know. I...” Alex flounders. “...please forgive me.” She adds lamely.

“And now she has the gall to ask for my forgiveness. You really are something else, Alex.” Bernie storms to the door and slams it on the way out.

Alex grabs her coat and her car keys to go after her.

“What are you doing?” Sophie asks as she watches the brunette rush around in a frenzy.

“Going to find her. I can't leave it like this. We've been friends since we were 18.” Alex stuffs her phone and her wallet in her pockets.

“Maybe you should give her time to cool off.” Sophie chances.

“I need to talk to her.” Alex brushes off the suggestion. “She was already upset about Serena. I don't want anything to happen because I was too much of a coward to tell her from the start about us.”

“I'll stay here in case she comes back.” Sophie offers and kisses Alex before she leaves.

Bernie’s car is no longer parked outside so Alex heads to her house first. She bangs on the door and rings the bell repeatedly but the blonde's car isn't here, so she probably isn't either. Alex has tried ringing and texting her but she must have switched her phone off.

She knows it's a long shot but she tries Serena's next. Pounding on the door, she bursts into the hallway in a panic when Serena opens the door.

“Is Bernie here?” Alex searches wildly for her friend.

“No. We had a fight. I'm the last person she wants to see.” Alex turns and sees that Serena is in bits.

“Second last now, I'd say.” Alex hugs the other brunette to her.

“Why? What's happened?” Serena sobs into Alex's shoulder.

“She came over. Told me what happened with you two. I had Sophie there. She didn't take it well.” Alex gives her the highlights.

“You're sleeping with Sophie?” Serena pulls back shocked.

“No. We've been seeing each other for the past month. It's serious.” Alex looks away ashamed. “I tried to tell her but I never wanted to hurt her like this.”

“Maybe she's still in love with Sophie.” Serena slumps down on her sofa. “I've no chance...” She buries her face in her hands and weeps.

“I don't know about that. She seems pretty hung up on you.” Alex tries to comfort the other woman. “You and this Helen...”

“She just turned up at my door and threw herself at me. I didn't kiss her back, Alex. I swear.” Serena explains. “I haven't had any contact with her in months, long before I met Bernie.”

“I have to keep looking for her.” Alex stands to continue her search.

“If you find her, will you bring her here? I want to see her, talk.” Serena requests.

“I'll do my best.” Alex promises and walks back to her car.

She drives around for ages, trying all of the places she can think of. None of Bernie's family or other friends have heard from her, Alex knows because she tries them all. She is just about to admit defeat when her phone rings. Sian.

“Hello?” Alex picks up.

“Hey sweetness. I wasn't sure who else to call. I'm at a bar in town and your blonde friend is here. Pretty drunk. I think she's in a bad way. Maybe you could come pick her up?” Sian gives Alex the name and address of the bar.

“Keep an eye on her. I'll be there in 10 minutes.” Alex hangs up and speeds off to the bar.

Alex walks into the bar scanning for Sian and Bernie. Sian waves to her and she moves towards them. Bernie is more than pretty drunk.

“She just keeps crying. Something about Serena.” Sian looks up at the brunette.

“I've lost her.” Bernie slurs out as she takes another swig from the whiskey bottle she'd somehow convinced the bartender to sell her.

“That's her second bottle.” Sian looks back to the blonde sadly.

“Come on, Bern.” Alex grips her friend tightly and helps her to her feet. “I'm taking you to Serena. She wants to see you.”

“She does?” Bernie looks so hopeful that Alex almost cries along with her.

“Yep. Told me to bring you straight there when I found you.” Alex holds her friend up and drags her outside as best as she can.

“I love her, you know?” Bernie's words are all slow and loaded with alcohol but none the less true.

“I know. Come on, into the car.” Alex folds the blonde into her passenger seat.

Bernie looks at her when she sits beside her in the driver's seat, her eyes are glassy and unfocused. “I'm fine with you and Sophie. I just want you...” Bernie indicates her friend and almost ends up with her head in Alex's lap as she over balances. “...to be happy.” She finishes as Alex helps her to sit upright and straps the seatbelt around her. “It was a shock but I just wish you'd come to me.”

Alex fastens her own seatbelt and starts the car, heading to take Bernie to Serena’s.

Bernie’s head bobs against the headrest as she stares unseeing out of her side window. “I think I drank too much.” She groans as the movement makes her feel a bit queasy.

“You ok, Bern? We're almost there.” Alex tries to concentrate on the road and worry about her friend.

“Feel sick.” Bernie replies.

“Want me to stop?” Alex starts to slow down, looking for somewhere to stop.

“No. I just want to get to Serena.” Bernie turns to look at Alex.

“Ok. Just hold on.” Alex indicates into Serena's street and pulls up outside her house.

Serena flings the door open, she'd obviously been sitting up waiting for news. “Is she alright?” She watches Alex half carry Bernie to her door.

“She was pretty upset about you. Might have had way too much to drink.” Alex lifts Bernie up the front steps.

Serena helps Alex get the blonde inside.

“Serena...” Bernie smiles when she sees her. “I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I'm so drunk. If Helen is who you want, I will step aside. Is she still here?” Bernie looks wounded as she searches for Serena’s ex.

“God no! I kicked her out right away. Told her not to come back, that I was happy and in love with you.” Serena and Alex guide Bernie upstairs and into bed.

“You did?” Bernie looks like she's won the lottery.

“Of course I did.” Serena sits beside the blonde, stroking her hair. “Thank you.” She mouths to Alex as she heads out to go home. Alex gives her a small wave in return.

Sophie has had a few hours to consider things as she waits for news or Alex's return. She can't come between the two friends no matter how much she loves Alex. She knows what she has to do when she hears Alex's key in the lock. She closes her eyes and braces herself to break both their hearts, willing herself not to cry.

“Hi. Thanks for waiting.” Alex smiles when she sees her and Sophie falters.

“Did you find her?” Sophie asks.

“Blind drunk and devastated...” Alex starts to explain and Sophie's resolve hardens.

“We can't see each other anymore, Alex.” She avoids the brunette’s eye but she knows she's heard her.

“What? Why?” Alex looks like she's been kicked in the gut and Sophie turns away.

“I think it's for the best.” Sophie bites her lip.

“I don't understand... You said you loved me.” Alex’s voice is so pained that Sophie almost relents. “I love you too.” Sophie stifles a sob at the brunette’s confession.

“I was just using you. To make Bernie jealous.” She practically chokes on her lie. May God forgive her, because Alex never would.

“Get out!” Alex's temper breaks along with her heart. She sweeps past Sophie and slams the bedroom door so she doesn't have to watch her leave. She paces the floor, fists clenched, fighting back the tears. This was exactly why she never did relationships or falling in love. To avoid this sick, heavy feeling in her stomach and the stabbing pain in her chest, crushing her heart. She doesn't even notice that she's crying until she brushes her hand over her face and it comes away soaked.

Sophie stands staring at the spot where Alex had disappeared behind the closed door. She feels like a weight is sitting on her chest and she doesn't expect it to lift any time soon. Maybe not ever. She wants to go in after her, but instead she gathers her things and leaves, like Alex asked. She gets as far as her car and sits sobbing uncontrollably behind the steering wheel. It takes her quite some time to calm down again, before she starts the car to go home.

Alex waits until she is sure Sophie is gone and trudges back out to the living area to clear up all traces of their evening together. She holds it together until she is throwing out the roses and pricks herself on the thorns. “God dammit!” She slumps onto her kitchen floor, back resting against her cupboards and cries again for her broken heart. “Sophie...” She whispers the woman's name as she sobs at the thought of losing her and knowing that she never felt the same way.

Sophie gets home somehow and carries out her night time routine in a daze. She undresses and pulls on her pyjamas, wiping off her make-up and checking all the doors and windows are secure. She brushes her teeth without looking in the mirror, can't stand to look at herself or think of what she'd done to Alex. It isn't until she reaches up to remove her earrings and remembers that they are the ones Alex had bought her, that she crumbles. Holding them in her hand, she covers her mouth with the other hand, trying and failing to muffle her cries. “Alex...” She runs her thumb over the earrings, setting them on her dresser and crawling under the covers to get not one minute of sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Bernie wakes with a groan the next day. Her head was pounding and her mouth was drier than the Sahara. She tries to sit up but the rooms spins and everything hurts from the effort.

“Here.” Serena hands her a glass of water and two painkillers. “Take these, they should help. Do you think you could eat anything?”

“Never again.” Bernie's stomach lurches just at the idea. “Thanks.” She swallows the tablets with a mouthful of water and finishes the glass. “How did I get here?” Bernie looks around, she was very clearly in Serena's bedroom.

“Alex was your very own personal search party. Brought you here. You were stinking drunk. Passed out as soon as we got you up here.” Serena fills in the blanks.

“I don't remember much. We fought.” She looks away from Serena with a furious blush. “I went to Alex's but her mystery woman turned out to be Sophie.”

“Does that bother you? Are you still in love with her?” Serena plucks at invisible threads on her bedding.

“I was never in love with her in the first place. I was upset about us, not Alex and Sophie. I guess I was just hurt that she didn't feel like she could tell me.” Bernie rubs at her eye sockets, trying to alleviate the throbbing pain.

“You don't remember coming here?” Serena hazards. "What I said about Helen?”

“Urgh. I had forgotten about her. Are you and she -”Bernie doesn't want to know.

“No. She's gone. I told her to clear off. She won't be back.” Serena reaches for Bernie’s hand. “She knows she has no chance with me because I love you.” She looks up to gauge Bernie's reaction.

“I could kiss you...” Bernie beams at the news. “...but I'm sure I should at least brush my teeth first."

“Yes please.” Serena laughs as she rests their heads together. “Will you move in with me?” She moves back to catch Bernie's eye. “Please.” She caresses the blonde’s beautiful face with her fingers.

“Absolutely.” Bernie covers Serena’s hand with her own and kisses her palm gently. “What about Alex? Does she think I'm mad at her?” Bernie isn't sure how she'd left things.

“I think so. I know I don't know her as well as you do, but she seems very taken with Sophie and she felt awful for not telling you. And she did drive all over town looking for you for hours last night.” Serena pleads Alex's case.

“I should call her.” Bernie resolves. “Have you seen my phone?” She only just seems to notice that Serena must have changed her into sleepwear.

“Here.” Serena grabs the mobile from the top of her chest of drawers, where she'd put all Bernie's things after emptying all the pockets and washing her clothes, which reeked of whiskey. “I'll just be downstairs. I'm making some breakfast so you can try to eat something.” She drops a quick kiss to Bernie’s hair and leaves her to it.

Bernie finds Alex in her call list and hits the call button.

“Hi.” Alex picks up eventually. “How's the hangover?” She sounds as bad as Bernie feels.

“Awful.” Bernie chuckles. “Listen, Al I don't remember much of last night after I left your apartment... I just wanted you to know that I'm not mad at you. If you and Sophie are happy then I'm pleased for you.”

“You won't have to worry about that now, Bern. It's over. She ended it.” Alex's voice cracks and Bernie’s stomach drops. Alex really did care about Sophie.

“Why?” Bernie asks in a breathless whisper, she'd never heard Alex so distraught.

“She was never interested in me. Just wanted to make you jealous.” Alex actually sobs on the line, Bernie had never heard or seen her cry before. “I gotta go.” She sniffs.

“No, wait! Alex, that makes no sense.” Even in her current state, Bernie doesn't believe Sophie's story.

“What's to understand? She was using me to piss you off. She wants you, not me.” Alex puts it bluntly. “I don't blame you. You never made her think you wanted to get back with her. I know you love Serena. I was stupid to believe she could fall for a loser like me.”

“You're not a loser! Alex, I think Sophie is lying. Think about it. How could she possibly be doing it to make me jealous? I didn't even know...” Bernie vows to herself to talk to Sophie and get to the bottom of this.

“It's ok, Bern. I'm not built for proper relationships anyway. I should never have let it go this far.” Alex sighs heavily into the phone.

“Do you love her?” Bernie asks.

“Yes.” Alex tries to keep her voice steady.

“Does she love you?” Bernie tries again.

“She said she did, but obviously not.” Alex sounds bitter and Bernie could strangle Sophie.

“Al, I've got to go. If you need me, I'll come over. Ring or text me any time, ok?” Bernie offers.

“Sure. See ya, Bern.” Alex hangs up.

Bernie gingerly gets up and heads to the kitchen to see Serena. “Where are my clothes ?”

Serena jumps, she hadn't heard coming. “They're almost dry. Come have some breakfast with me first.” She dishes out scrambled eggs, bacon and toast on two plates.

“I need to find Sophie.” Bernie sits very cautiously at the dining table, every action just angered her hangover further.

“Huh?” Serena has no idea where that came from.

“She broke up with Alex last night.” Bernie gives Serena the whole story.

“Poor Alex... You don't think she might really have been trying to get to you by dating Alex?” Serena butters her toast and takes a bite.

“Sophie was never like that. It's cruel and calculating, it's doesn't sound like her. We both know we're not interested in each other, she doesn't want me back, so even if I'd known about her and Alex, it never would have made any difference. There must be something else behind it.” Bernie attempts a few hesitant forkfuls of food. “If I talk to her, she might tell the truth.”

“Not to burst your bubble, my love...” Serena reaches for Bernie. “...even if I knew where your car was, you're not fit to drive.”

“Will you take me?” Bernie knows she's asking a lot.

“Breakfast and shower first.” Serena agrees.

Bernie phones the hospital to be told that Ms Davis called in sick that morning. That's her first clue that all isn't what it seems, she could honestly say that ever since she'd known Sophie, she'd never had a sick day.

They head to Sophie's house instead, Bernie hopes she hasn't moved since coming home. It takes a while of knocking and ringing the bell but Sophie answers eventually. She looks exactly how Alex had sounded and Bernie feels vindicated. Sophie’s eyes and noses are red and puffy and she looks as if she hasn't had a wink of sleep.

“What the hell are you playing at, Soph?” Bernie doesn't have time for sugar coating it.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Sophie looks anywhere but at the blonde on her doorstep.

“Alex. You've broken her heart, I hope you know that. Broken your own too by the looks of it. I've known her a long time and she's never been so torn up before.” Bernie softens a bit then. “She loves you and I know you didn't have any interest in making me jealous. So what's going on?” Bernie squeezes her upper arm gently.

“You better come in.” Sophie steps aside but then notices Serena. “Bring Serena too if you like. Things got sorted out between you two then?” Sophie smiles and gestures to the brunette to come in too.

“Alex tried everywhere to find me last night and brought me to Serena. I'm sorry I reacted badly last night. I was just shocked but you are good for Alex. She cares about you. Don't let my poor behaviour keep you apart. You do love her, don't you?” Bernie sits with Serena in the living room, Sophie takes one of the armchairs.

Sophie sobs into the room as she nods her head, too upset to speak.

“Why did you break up with her? Lie and tell her you were only using her?” Bernie places a hand on Sophie’s and rubs it softly to comfort her.

“I didn't know what else to do. When she was out looking for you, I just sat there thinking about how I'd come between you. I just said the worst thing I could think of. I thought if she hated me and she believed that I never loved her, then you might be friends again. I never wanted to make you stop being friends. Alex totally blind sighted me, I never expected to fall in love with her.” Sophie wipes at the flood of tears with the sleeve of her pyjamas. “You've been friends for so long, I didn't want to make her have to choose between us. I thought it would be easier this way but I've broken my own heart in the process.”

“Right. Go and get dressed. We're taking you to Alex. You need to tell her the truth.” Bernie ushers her out.

“She'll not believe me now. You didn't see her face. I wouldn't blame her if she never forgave me.” Sophie looks small and lost.

“We have to try. You love each other, don't give up on that.” Bernie gently encourages her upstairs.

“You think Alex will hear her out?” Serena looks sceptical.

“We'll soon find out.” Bernie sits again beside the brunette with a heavy sigh.

Sophie comes back down after a while looking a little calmer.

“Right, let's get going.” Serena stands and moves to wrap an arm around Sophie.

“Thank you both for doing this.” Sophie looks between them with a flicker of a smile.

Bernie steps up and hugs Sophie from the other side. “Time to go get your girl!”

They drive to Alex's in contemplative silence, only broken by Bernie pointing out the way for Serena.

Bernie jumps out and lets Sophie follow her, heading up to press the buzzer.

“Yep.” Alex comes on the line after a few seconds.

“Hey, Al. It's me. Can we come up?” Bernie speaks into the intercom.

“We?” Alex asks. “Is Serena with you?”

“Well, she's in the car. I have Sophie with me. She wants to talk to you.” Bernie holds her breath and Sophie's heart hammers.

“I don't want to see her.” Alex puts the handset down.

Sophie crumples and starts crying again.

Bernie persists and presses the buzzer again.

“Bernie, I'm not messing around. Tell her to go away!” Alex snarls and hangs up again.

“It's ok.” Sophie places her hand over Bernie's to stop her reaching for the buzzer again, tears streaming down her cheeks. “She's not going to change her mind.” She turns and walks back to the car.

Serena sees the state Sophie is in and steps out of the car to hold her up.

“She won't talk to me.” Sophie buries her face in Serena’s shoulder and shakes with sobs.

“Shhhhhhh. It's alright. It's going to be alright.” Serena rubs her back gently to soothe her, looking for Bernie.

Bernie tries the buzzer again, she wasn't for letting this go.

“Alex, I know you’re upset and angry right now, but if you don't talk to her, if you turn your back on her, you will regret it for the rest of your days. I know you think she doesn't love you, but I can promise you she does.”

“Bern, she told me to my face that she's not in love with me.” Alex sounds utterly broken.

“I know. She explained why she did that. Just give her a chance. Please Alex. She's devastated, if you could see her you'd know how she really feels. Don't walk away from love.” Bernie waits for her friend's answer.

“Some people don't get happily ever after, Bern. Let's just accept that I'm one of those people.” Alex puts the handset down again.

Bernie drags her feet all the way back to the car. Sophie lifts her head to see if Bernie had any luck. Bernie has to shake her head and watch the tiny speck of hope in Sophie's eyes die. She breaks down completely in Serena’s arms then and the resulting cry that escapes her breaks all their hearts.

Alex looks terrible all through her shift at work the next day and what little Bernie had seen of Sophie showed her looking the same.

“Fancy going for a drink, Al?” Bernie corners her in the locker room.

“Can't. Hot date.” Comes Alex's clipped reply.

“I take it, it isn't with Sophie?” Bernie was afraid that her friend would do this. Just go back to what she always did, try to forget Sophie by fucking anything with a pulse.

“Amber.” Alex replies, the name means nothing to Bernie.

“Alex, please don't do this. You won't get over her this way and you're only hurting your chances of getting back with Sophie if you -” Bernie tries to dissuade her.

“She doesn't want me!” Alex slams her locker door, punches it for good measure. “She wants you.” Alex spits out and slumps onto the bench in tears.

Bernie comes to sit beside her friend. “She doesn't want me. If you just talk to her...” She rests a soothing hand between Alex's shoulder blades. When Alex turns to face her, the look on her face steals Bernie's breath. She'd never seen anyone look so crushed.

“I love her. And she doesn't love me back, Bern.” Alex grabs a fistful of Bernie’s scrubs as she clings to her, desolate and shuddering with sobs.

“She does, Al. She does.” Bernie strokes her friend's hair and hushes her softly.

Sophie comes in after a while to try to catch Alex before shift change and she is winded by the sight of the brunette weeping into her friend’s top. “Alex...."

Alex looks up and her face turns cold and angry when she sees Sophie. “Stay the fuck away from me.” She hisses at the other woman as she swipes at her tears.

“Please, I...just let me explain...” Sophie pleads.

“No! I don't want to hear anything you have to say.” Alex lifts her coat off the peg. “Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a gorgeous redhead waiting for me downstairs, mustn't keep her waiting. The sooner I get there, the sooner we can go back to mine and fuck all night.” Alex gets some satisfaction from seeing Sophie’s face fall. “What's wrong Sophie? Not like that idea? Of me inside her, making her come over and over again, screaming my name as I screw her hard and fast...”

“Stop it!” Sophie yells in her face. “Stop, please...” She blinks around tears, gripping the edge of the lockers and struggling to breath.

“Alex, don't do this. Look at her.” Bernie moves to comfort Sophie. “She clearly loves you.”

“She doesn't know the meaning of the word.” Alex casts one last look at Sophie, disgusted and seething before walking away. She marches straight out of the hospital and barely acknowledges the redhead in question. “Not tonight.” She dismisses her out of hand and heads to the nearest bar. If she couldn't fuck Sophie out of her system, she'd just have to find another way.


	19. Chapter 19

“She's just lashing out. I don't think she means any of it.” Bernie tries to calm Sophie down.

“I can hardly blame her. I've no right to expect her to forgive me and welcome me back with open arms.” Sophie feels sick thinking of Alex with whoever this redhead was. “She's moving on. I have to accept that.”

“She loves you and no amount of Ambers will change that.” Bernie has a hunch that Alex has no real intention of doing what she'd threaten to. “Are you ready to leave?” She wants to test her theory.

Sophie nods and looks at the blonde. “Why?”

“You two are going to talk even if I have to bang your heads together. Just give me a sec to change.” Bernie moves to put her clothes back on.

Bernie and Sophie head out of the hospital and Bernie spots a redhead trying to get a taxi and looking pissed off. “Amber?”

“Who's asking?” She looks Bernie up and down derisively.

“Where's Alex?” Bernie presses on.

“She went that way.” Amber jolts her head towards the nearby bar. “You tell her she missed out on a good night. Not to bother calling me again. I came all the way down here and she sends me straight home...”

Sophie feels her chest swell with hope, Alex had turned away this Amber. She rushes ahead of Bernie to get to the indicated bar.

Bernie thanks Amber and chases after Sophie. “Hang on, Soph. Let me speak to her first.”

They find Alex on a stool at the bar, staring into her bottle of beer. Bernie approaches cautiously. “Hey Al.”

“You can save me a repeat of the celibacy speech. I didn't take Amber home. Obviously.” Alex takes a gulp of beer. “Maybe this stuff will work instead.”

“Al, I have -” Bernie perches on the stool next to her friend’s.

“How do you do it, Bern?” Alex turns to her as if she might have the answer.

“Do what?” Bernie asks.

“I can’t stop thinking about her. Even though I know she doesn't love me. I know that in here...” Alex points to her temple. “...but in here...” She indicates her chest, where her heart would be. “...I thought it was real.” Alex allows a single tear to drop down onto her cheek. “So you tell me, how many of these...” She holds up her beer bottle. “...is it going to take? How do I get over her?” Alex looks imploringly at her friend, silently begging her to have the solution.

Sophie witnesses the whole exchange, crippled by the brunette’s pain. Pain that she caused. Unnecessarily, it would seem.

“Talk to Sophie, Al. She does love you, I swear it to you. We've been friends forever, I wouldn't lie to you. It's true.” Bernie pulls Alex into a one armed hug.

“It is true.” Sophie chooses that moment to interrupt.

“What is she doing here?” Alex jumps off of her barstool and fixes Bernie with a hard stare.

“Just listen to what she has to say.” Bernie raises her hands in a placatory gesture.

“You're taking her side?” Alex points to Sophie but her eyes stay on Bernie.

“No. Alex. If she really wasn't in love with you and she had used you like you think, of course I would be on your side. I want you to be happy and Sophie made you happier than I've ever seen you. Talk to her. If you still want to leave it, then I won't push anymore.” Bernie bargains.

“Bernie, I don't know. She really hurt me. I can't risk that again. You know me. Maybe I should just stick to short and meaningless hook ups.” Alex knows what works for her.

“Were you happy? As happy as you were with Sophie?” Bernie places a hand on her best friend's shoulder, trying to get her to be honest. With herself at least.

Alex looks over to Sophie and she knows she loves her. She'd never felt anywhere near like this with anyone else. “Fine. Let's talk. You want a drink?” Alex offers.

Sophie almost drops to her knees, body flooded with parts nerves, parts relief. “I'll get these.” She smiles shyly at Alex.

“I'll grab a quiet table.” Alex hugs her friend. “Thanks, Bern.” She leaves Sophie to order at the bar while she searches for somewhere to sit.

“Ok, I'm gonna head off.” Bernie rubs Sophie’s arm gently. “Good luck. Just be honest.”

“Thank you, Bernie.” Sophie can't express how grateful she is.

“Don't hurt her again.” Bernie's tone is a warning and Sophie nods a promise to confirm her understanding.

Bernie gives a quick wave and a ‘call me' signal to Alex as she heads to the door. She fires off a quick text to Serena as she moves to her car.

B: Sorry, just leaving now. Finally got Alex and Sophie to talk. Fingers crossed! Love you x

Her phone buzzes almost immediately with a reply.

S: I hope they sort it out! Dinner’s almost ready. Cu soon. Love you too x

Bernie smiles as she throws her phone back into her bag and starts her car to drive home. Smiling at the thought that it soon really would be home, once she'd moved in.

Sophie panics that Alex has left when she can't find her, as she starts to bring their drinks to whichever table the brunette had chosen.

Alex stands so that Sophie can see her and waves her over, when she sees the other woman scanning desperately to look for her.

Sophie takes a few centring breaths and tries to keep her cool as she zigzags through the crowd, with her wine in one hand and Alex's beer in the other.

“Thanks.” Alex takes the proffered bottle and takes a drink to steady her nerves as Sophie sits opposite her in the booth. “Sophie, I just wanted to apologise for the way I spoke to you in the locker room.”

“I deserved it.” Sophie stares at the table.

“No. It was childish and mean. I was hurt and angry, but I shouldn't have been so cruel. I'm sorry.” Alex looks decidedly remorseful.

“I didn't mean what I said the other night...” Sophie starts to explain herself and Alex's eyes fill with tears. “...no not that!” Sophie waves her hands, knowing what the brunette is thinking. “I meant it when I said I love you. The other stuff, afterwards. I didn't mean any of it.”

“Why say it then?” Alex challenges.

“You said it yourself. You've been friends with Bernie since you were 18. When you told me that you'd found her blind drunk and devastated, I thought you meant about us.” Sophie runs her finger around the edge of an unused beermat on the table.

“No, she was cut up about Serena. Did it bother you that she would be upset about us? Do you love her?” Alex looks up to see Sophie shaking her head.

“Not at all. Bernie and I were never good together, we didn't love each other. I was worried that I was coming between you. I didn't want you to stop being friends because of me. That's why I said it. I knew it would make you angry. I wanted to avoid you feeling like you'd have to pick one of us. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I've been miserable without you.” Sophie pushes her hand across the table top, towards Alex's hand. Alex pulls hers back slightly and Sophie’s heart plummets through the floor.

“How do I know that's true? If you could lie so easily, say something so awful... how do I trust you again?” Alex twists her beer bottle thoughtfully. “You have to understand that what you said, the so-called lie you chose, was so close to the bone. I was worried that once you found out Bernie had split up with Serena that you would want her back. And then you said that... It honest to God felt like having my heart trampled on.” What Alex was saying was true, if the look on her face was anything to go by. “I felt like such an idiot. All our time together, I was falling for you and you didn't feel the same way. Deep down I think I always knew that someone like you just doesn't fall in love with someone like me, but to hear you say it...” Alex’s voice fails her then, a heavy lump of emotion lodged in her throat.

“I know that I can't take it back. I should never have said it at all. I wish I hadn't. Is there any way I can convince you that you can trust me? I love you, Alex. I do. I promise you that it's true. I've never felt this way about anyone. Just let me prove it to you.” Sophie begs for another chance.

“I don't know...” Alex shakes her head softly and Sophie feels her slipping away.

“I'll do anything.” Sophie stares at the brunette with a desperate look in her eye. “Please, Alex.”

“We could have dinner. One night next week maybe.” Alex extends the olive branch. “Take things slowly, see how it goes.”

Sophie’s lips curl ever so slightly in the briefest hint of a smile. “Ok. Dinner would be nice.” She brings her glass to her lips, looking up coyly at Alex before glancing back down. She wouldn't waste this chance to show Alex that she was everything she wanted.

“Just let me know what night suits you. How about that new Chinese restaurant that opened across from City Hall?” Alex suggests.

“Sounds great, I love Chinese.” Sophie accepts. “I'll check my hours tomorrow and text you.”

“Ok. Do you want another?” Alex tips her bottle at Sophie's now empty glass.

“Sure. Why not? Thanks.” Sophie smiles up at Alex as she passes to go to the bar. She keeps smiling as she shifts in her seat to watch the brunette as she leans on the bar and gives her order. 

She can't see the other woman smiling too, as she feels the heaviness that had settled in her chest lift and turns back to carry their drinks over. Sophie loves her and she really loves Sophie. As she glances over to their booth they both just continue to smile at each other as Alex sits back down, this time beside Sophie instead of opposite her.

“Is this ok?” Alex turns to check that she hasn't overstepped, she just wanted to be close to the other woman again.

“Very ok.” Sophie laces the fingers of one hand with the one Alex had placed on the seat between them and rests her chin on the brunette’s shoulder, pressing their foreheads together. “I've missed you.” She closes her eyes and lets all of the sensations of being close to Alex again wash over her, committing every one to memory.

“I would say it's only been two days, but it's felt like a lifetime.” Alex reaches up with her free hand to cup Sophie’s face and caress her cheek with her thumb. She smiles when Sophie leans into the touch. “Please don't do this again. I won't survive it.” She leans back to look beseechingly at Sophie.

“I love you. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry, Alex.” Alex wipes at the tear that escapes Sophie's eye with the thumb still on her cheek.

“I love you.” Alex whispers into the space between their mouths, fighting every urge in her body to kiss the woman in front of her. She had said that they should take things slowly and this would be the polar opposite of that.

Sophie sees the conflict flit across Alex's features and puts her out of her misery. Resting her free hand on the brunette’s chest she very reluctantly pushes back from their almost kiss. “We can wait. That doesn't mean I don't want to kiss you right now. Believe me, I want nothing more. But I know I need to earn your trust again. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here.” Instead, she turns Alex's head slightly to kiss her tenderly on the cheek, wiping affectionately at the resulting lipstick stain on Alex's face.

“Drink up. I'll walk you home.” Alex offers kindly.

They chat comfortably for a while longer, until they finish their drinks and then Alex does walk Sophie home, arm slung protectively around the smaller woman's shoulders.

“You want to come in for a coffee?” Sophie suggests when they reach her house. She just wanted to keep Alex with her for as long as possible.

“I...um...well...” Alex doesn't really want to leave either. “Ok. That would be good, thanks.”

Sophie smiles as she opens the door, kicking off her shoes by the hall table and slinging her coat and bag on the coat hooks along the hallway, encouraging Alex to do the same. “Do you want tea or coffee?”

“Sophie?” Alex calls after her.

“Hm?” Sophie replies as she flicks on the lamp on the hall table.

“I'm ready.” Alex tells her.

“Wha -” Sophie's confused look turns to shock and then all there is is Alex's mouth against hers. The brunette’s lips claiming her over and over again, ravenous from all the kisses she'd missed.

Alex's hands slip from her waist to start undressing them both, almost ripping Sophie's clothes from her body.

“Alex...” Sophie gasps breathlessly and then forgets what she wanted to say, as the brunette’s lips and tongue trail over her neck and her hands tug her bra aside to reach for her breasts, her fingers teasing her already firming nipples to further hardness. Her body was alight, overwhelmed by all the feelings of the different points of contact, driving her wild.

It takes her quite a few moments to realise that Alex has finished and that they are both naked in her hallway, and Alex is pulling Sophie up by the thighs to wrap herself around the brunette. Alex starts to take them upstairs but when they stumble about halfway up, neither can be persuaded to make the rest of the trip. They just stay where they fell, Alex on top of Sophie and Sophie's legs trapping her between them.

They smile into another round of searing kisses, Sophie's arms splayed either side of her, hands trying but failing to find purchase to ground her, while Alex’s hands explore all that Sophie's curves have to offer. 

Without warning, she snakes one hand down and inside the other woman, making Sophie's back arch as she feels Alex fill her. She breaks their kiss to cry out in ecstasy.

“I love you, Sophie. I'm going to make you come so hard...” Alex grins as she licks all over the skin of Sophie's chest underneath her, paying glorious attention to her aching nipples. She pushes her hand further into Sophie by grinding her hips hard and fast, making sure she is as deep inside her as she can manage, the heel of her hand rubbing against Sophie's swollen and sensitive clit.

“Alex, I....Ahhhh!” Sophie's climax surprises them both as she tenses underneath the brunette. She hadn't realised she was that close, as her orgasm forces the air out of her lungs, so intense it was almost painful, but delectably so. She grips tightly to Alex's ridiculously firm buttock and digs in her nails, silently begging her to stay deep. Alex licks softly at the stiff peaks of her nipples as Sophie's release seems to go on forever. Alex lifts her eyes, desperate to see what Sophie looks like in that moment of completion. She is the most beautiful thing Alex had ever seen.

“You ok, beautiful?” Alex breathes the question against Sophie's neck as she brushes her lips over the area.

Sophie has started to recover but her chest is still rising and falling heavily, breathing shaky and uneven. “I love you, Alex. I love you so much.” She closes her eyes against the flow of tears she knows is about to fall.

“Are these happy tears?” Alex pulls back looking concerned. “I didn't hurt you, did I?”

“No, you were perfect. They are happy but overwhelmed tears, my love.” Alex smiles at the affectionate term.

“You wanna know a secret?” Alex whispers conspiratorially to the other woman, Sophie nods and holds Alex's gaze. “I've never done that before.”

Sophie’s brow furrows in confusion as she wipes her eyes dry.

“I've never made love before. You're my first. My only, if you'll have me?” Alex stares at Sophie with big, sincere, hopeful eyes that make the other woman melt.

“I'm all yours.” Sophie kisses the brunette gently. “You know, they say the second time is even better?” She raises an eyebrow in invitation. “Just promise me we can do it in a bed this time.”

They both giggle at that and Alex's eyes shine with mirth and mischief.

“What?” Sophie sees the look on the brunette’s face. "No...Alex...no...please...don't...” She shrinks away trying to evade Alex's tickles, laughing hysterically.

“Up those stairs, on the double Ms Davis.” Alex chases her all the way to the bedroom.

They fall together on to the sheets, still wrestling as Alex continues her teasing and then smiling into each other’s mouth as they remember they have more important activities to get to.


	20. Chapter 20

Sophie stretches awake the next morning, a knowing smile spreading across her face. She was sprawled on her front and facing the woman responsible for both her smile and the telling ache deep in her muscles.

Alex was lying on her side facing Sophie, leaning up on her elbow, head resting in her hand and looking at the other woman as if she was the most precious thing on earth.

“Were you watching me sleep?” Sophie smiles up at the brunette and reaches out to stroke her cheek.

Alex turns her head into the touch and kisses Sophie's palm. “You are so beautiful. I couldn't help myself.” She tucks Sophie's hair behind her ear and starts to kiss the spot now uncovered. Gently tugging the sheet off the woman beside her, she takes a moment to appreciate Sophie's now exposed back.

“Cold.” Sophie murmurs her protest.

“I know how to warm you up.” Alex whispers into the other woman’s ear and starts to work over the bared skin with the tip of her nose and her soft lips, leaving warm kisses on every inch. She lets her hand tickle along Sophie's side, enjoying the small gasps and moans her touch elicits when she focuses on the side of Sophie's breast. “I want you again.” She confesses as her lips reach the swell of Sophie's backside and kiss and nip the flesh of her bum. 

Her hand slides down from Sophie's side to smooth over the crease between her butt cheeks, parting the area to tease at the tight ring of muscle, before moving further down between Sophie's legs.

“Alex!” Sophie gets lost in the contact, as the brunette touches her in places and ways no one ever had. She leans up to kneel on all fours, spreading herself wide for Alex and thrusting back into the fingers just waiting at her entrance.

“Sophie, you're so wet.” Alex’s voice is half pleased, half surprised.

“It's you. It's all for you.” Sophie moans as Alex keeps refusing to enter her, making her desperate.

“I did this to you?” Alex dips her fingers in and quickly out of her when she says ‘this.’ Her hand coming out soaked, to illustrate her point she shows the glistens digits to the other woman.

“YES! It's all because of you. Please, Alex!” Sophie can't take anymore teasing, she is too keyed up to wait any longer.

Alex slowly licks Sophie off of her hand while she watches, hips grinding back into the brunette’s, willing her to touch her where she needs it most. “Hmmmm, you taste so good! I think I might like some more.” Alex smiles wickedly as she licks all over the other woman’s backside, taking her time in reaching Sophie’s throbbing centre.

“I need you. Alex, please.” Sophie reaches down to touch herself, desperate for any kind of friction.

Alex catches her hand before she can make it to her goal. “As much as I would enjoy watching you fuck yourself, we'll keep that for another day. Today you're mine.” Alex bites softly at Sophie's ass, making her head spin, before diving between her legs and gripping Sophie's already trembling thighs tightly.

Sophie had expected Alex to take her hard and fast, but it seemed that the brunette had other ideas. This was slow and deliberate and extremely tender. Sophie wouldn't complain though, just knowing that Alex was between her legs, pleasuring her, was exquisitely arousing and everything Alex did to her always felt incredible. It had brought tears to Sophie's eyes almost every time last night, even when she wasn't the one being touched, and left each of her nerve endings buzzing, as her body became entirely invaded by the brunette. She hadn't realised straight away when Alex had mentioned it that, if she was honest, she had never made love before last night either. It certainly had never felt like this with anyone else. She never wanted it with anyone else again. Alex was it for her now. It was always meant to be her.

“I'm coming, Alex. I'm coming.” Sophie feels her body tense and she can barely breathe as her orgasm takes hold. “I love you!!” She pants out as Alex somehow keeps her in the throes of climax for what feels like an eternity. “Alex...oh...yes!” Sophie feels another wave hit and she is pushing herself further into the brunette as she clings to the feelings coursing through her.

Alex slows when Sophie needs her to and gently moves away, kissing her way softly back up the other woman’s spine. “I love you too.” She pulls them down onto the covers and holds Sophie to her, smiling at the thought that this amazing woman was hers now. She'd never figure out how she'd done it but she would be forever grateful that she had. “I wish I could just stay here forever, holding you.” She brushes the hair stuck to Sophie's sweaty forehead away and kisses her gently.

“Yes. Lovely. Let's do that. Sounds like heaven.” Sophie curls into the brunette and waits for her body to recover, safe and happy in Alex's arms.

“I hate to burst our perfect bubble, but we have to go to work. I need to go home and change. Not to mention, we left our cars at the hospital last night.” Alex cards her fingers through Sophie's hair and smiles down into her gorgeous face.

“Five more minutes then?” Sophie pouts adorably and Alex relents, noticing that they still have a bit of time.

“Don't fall asleep on me, my love.” Alex laughs as Sophie's eyelids start to close.

“I'm not. Just resting my eyes.” Sophie counters. “Your fault anyway, doing this to me when we need to get up.” She teases around a yawn.

“We could have lunch together later?” Alex suggests as she kisses Sophie's bare shoulder.

“Yes, I'd love to. We still should try that Chinese restaurant this week too.” Sophie starts to get up. “Let me make you breakfast.” She wanders off to the bathroom as naked as the day she was born and Alex's smile couldn't get any wider.

When she comes back, she steals Alex's shirt to cover up. “I'm borrowing this.” She quickly buttons it.

“Please do. It looks better on you.” Alex beams at the smaller woman, clearly swamped in her shirt. Her heart swells two sizes and she knows it will be a long time before she wears it again without picturing this exact moment.

“Tea or coffee? I have bagels. Bacon and cheese?” Sophie smiles over at the brunette.

“My usual coffee please. Bagels sounds great. I'll just grab a quick shower.” She slips out of the bed and kisses Sophie on her way to the bathroom.

“Spare toothbrushes under the sink.” Sophie calls to her as she bounds downstairs to make a start on the food.

Alex potters down a while later in her bra and Sophie smiles as she dishes up.

“I'm gonna need this back.” Alex presses the other woman against her worktop and slowly unbuttons the shirt, sliding her hands around Sophie's waist underneath the fabric. “That's quite a view.” She glances down at Sophie's front, exposed in the now open shirt.

“You want me to eat breakfast naked?” Sophie leans up for a kiss with a cheeky smirk on her face.

“If I had my way, you'd never wear clothes again.” Alex replies into the kiss.

“Naughty.” Sophie smiles against the brunette’s lips.

“What can I say? You do things to me.” Alex grabs Sophie by the arse and lifts her onto the counter behind her, kissing her responding quip away. She grins when Sophie's thighs wrap around her, holding her between her legs.

“Um...” Alex moans into another kiss. “...as inviting as this is. We really need to get going.”

“I was about to get going.” Sophie raises an eyebrow suggestively, but sees the look on Alex's face. “Alright. Fine.” She pushes the brunette away playfully and hops off the counter. “You started it.” She sticks her tongue out playfully at Alex.

“And I will finish it. Later.” Alex promises with a sultry wink.

They eat their breakfast quickly once they see the time and Alex leaves Sophie with a soft kiss, to all but sprint over to her apartment and throw on some fresh clothes, managing somehow to scrounge a lift from Bernie.

“Good morning, my best buddy!” Alex greets the blonde with a barely contained grin.

“I take it that you patched things up with Sophie, if that goofy look on your face says anything.” Bernie shifts the car into gear and heads for the hospital.

“We made up quite a few times last night. And once more this morning. Just to be sure.” Nothing could wipe the smug look from the brunette’s face.

“Too much information, Al. But I'm glad you sorted everything out.” Bernie glances over at her friend, extremely pleased that this could well be the relationship that stuck. She and Sophie were perfect for each other.

“I'm having lunch with her later. And taking her out for dinner some night too.” Alex gloats. “This is it, Bern. She's The One for me. I'm going to marry her one day. Watch this space.” Alex looks like she's flying high.

“Wow. Did Alex Dawson just say ‘marry'?" Bernie teases her friend.

“I'm serious. There's nobody else for me. I want to be with her and if she'll have me, yes I would marry her in a heartbeat.” Alex sticks to her guns.

“I'm so happy for you. I'll look forward to getting the invite.” Bernie beams at the brunette. “Actually, I have some news...”

“You're marrying Serena? I knew there was something!” Alex smacks her friend on the back as they walk up to the locker room.

“No. Not yet. We're moving in together. Soon hopefully.” Bernie grins.

“That's fantastic! But you said ‘not yet' so now I know you'll be popping the question soon.” Alex quips and turns to change into scrubs.

“I would like to one day. We'll see how living together goes first.” Bernie puts on her own scrubs too.

“Look at us, being all committed and grown up.” Alex chuckles, she never imagined getting here. Bernie probably, but never herself.

“Appendectomy in 15 minutes. You with me today?” Bernie looks over to Alex.

“Let's do it!” Alex confirms as they head to theatre side by side.

Lunch time comes around fairly quickly as the trauma calls come in thick and fast.

“You meeting Serena for lunch?” Alex asks as they scrub out of their third back to back surgery.

“Not today. She's stuck in board meetings all day.” Bernie tugs at the paper in the dispenser to dry her hands.

“You wanna join me and Sophie? She wouldn't mind I'm sure.” Alex offers kindly.

“I'll come down with you to grab something and say hello, but I'll leave you lovebirds in peace. I have a mountain of paperwork to clear up before tomorrow, so I should really get cracking.” Bernie follows Alex back to the locker room and grabs her purse from her locker.

Sophie is already waiting for her at the canteen and Alex's whole face lights up when she spots her. Bernie glances between the two soppy looks and shakes her head with a giggle. “Go sit with her. I'll get these.” She joins the queue as Alex has to keep herself from running over and snogging Sophie senseless.

“I hope you're pleased with yourself.” Sophie drags her down into the seat beside her.

“Huh?” Alex has no idea what's going on.

“It hurts every time I sit down. You bit my ass!” Sophie hisses into her ear.

“Oh shit, sorry! I didn't think it was that hard.” Alex flushes apologetically.

“Don't be sorry, I quite like it. A lovely reminder of what we did this morning. It's very sexy.” She fixes Alex with a smouldering stare.

“I'll have to give you a matching one on the other cheek later in that case.” Alex's eyes are dark and piercing.

Bernie forces them to look away as she sets their food out for them. “Hey, Soph. One black Americano with two sugars and a chicken salad box. Blame Alex if I got that wrong.” She smiles kindly at Sophie.

“Nope. Spot on. Thank you.” Sophie returns the smile.

“And a cappuccino and a club sandwich for you, Al.” Bernie lifts everything from the tray to the table.

“Thanks, Bern. You sure you don't want to sit with us?” Alex looks up at the blonde.

“I would but I need to get this paperwork done. Maybe drinks or something one night this week though? I'll see what suits Serena.” Bernie smiles at the pair.

“Let me know if you need a hand moving in? When are you thinking of?” Alex asks and then turns to Sophie. “Bernie and Serena are gonna live together.” She explains.

“That's great, congratulations!” Sophie's smile is wide and genuine.

“I'm gonna put my place on the market. Hers is bigger and much nicer... We have an appointment with her solicitor in a few weeks to put my name on the deeds, so hoping to move in by the end of next month.” Bernie beams.

“There'll be wedding bells next.” Sophie smiles up at Bernie.

“Ah well, this one might beat me to it.” Bernie winks over at Alex. “She's very taken with you, Soph. Serena and I might not be the first ones to get married, eh?”

Bernie waves and heads off to her office and the reams of paperwork awaiting her.

“You want to get married?” Sophie aims her question at Alex but just stares off into the distance.

“Not like tomorrow or anything but maybe some day.” Alex shrugs and digs into her sandwich.

She misses the look on Sophie's face. She has gone completely pale and clammy. She looks utterly terrified, as the thought fills her with unwarranted dread.


	21. Chapter 21

“Are you gonna tell me what's been bothering you?” Alex pulls Sophie out of her thoughts as they have dinner at the Chinese restaurant a few nights later.

“Nothing. What? Why would something be bothering me?” Sophie replies too quickly and not at all convincingly.

“You've been staring into space all evening. I don't think you've heard a word I've said. And you've been distant since we made things up on Thursday. You won't let me touch you or kiss you. We haven't... you know, since Friday morning?” Alex looks worried.

“Oh right, so because I won't sleep with you, there's a problem?” Sophie snaps.

“That's not what I meant. You're quiet and distracted, I'm worried that's all. If something is wrong you can talk to me. Are you having second thoughts about us?” Alex asks, not sure she wants to hear the answer.

“No. No, of course not. It's just...I...” Sophie flounders, how can she tell her? “It's just been a tiring time at work. There's nothing wrong.” She lies and tries to make more of an effort over dinner.

“So, I may have done something a bit bad.” Alex looks up from her plate at Sophie.

“Bad how?” Sophie asks puzzled.

“My Mum wanted me to come over for dinner tonight and I told her about you. She wants to meet you.” Alex explains.

Sophie knocks her glass over in shock. “Shit!”

“I got it, it's ok.” Alex dabs at the liquid with her napkin. “No harm done.” She smiles over at the other woman. “She says she wants you to have dinner with us all on Sunday.” Alex sits back down and goes back to her meal.

“All?” Sophie looks flustered.

“Yeah. Mum, Dad, Ben, Craig, Sara, their partners and the kids.” Alex tries not to feel too hurt by Sophie's panicked expression. “It just slipped out when she asked me why I couldn't come tonight. I didn't know she was going to insist on meeting you.”

“I don't know, I... This Sunday?” Sophie is sweating with anxiety.

“Yep.” Alex beams.

“Oh I can't. Family dinner at The Speckled Hen.” Sophie sighs, relieved at having an excuse. This time.

“Great. That's where we're going. I told my Mum all about your tradition and she thought we should try it. Maybe we could go at the same time as your family and everyone could meet.” Alex looks delighted at her brilliant planning.

Sophie thinks she might throw up. She couldn't get out of it though. Either way she'd be at the pub and they were bound to run into each other. “Great.” She tries to appear enthusiastic, not sure she entirely succeeds.

“Great.” Alex echoes and goes back to her meal.

They eat their dinner in silence for a while before Sophie cracks.

“Alex?” She waits for the brunette to look up at her. “There's something I need to tell you.”

“Ok.” Alex stops eating and stares at Sophie, eyes full of concern.

“My family...they don't know.” Sophie tells her.

“About me? Well, that's alright. It's only been 6 weeks and maybe I was getting ahead of myself. If you don't want to do the whole meet the folks thing -” Alex starts to reassure the other woman.

“No, Alex. They don't know that I'm gay.” Sophie clarifies.

“Em...what?” Alex isn't sure she has heard her.

“I never told them that I'm a lesbian. They have no idea. I'd say they still think Bernie is short for Bernard. They never met any of my girlfriends.” Sophie stares intently at her plate.

“I...you...” Alex casts her eye over the restaurant, searching for what to say. “Do you want me to be with you when you talk to them?” Alex offers, covering Sophie's hand with her own.

“I can't...” Sophie blinks back tears.

“You wanna do it by yourself?” Alex asks uncertain.

“No. I can't tell them.” Sophie explains.

“Ever?” Alex’s voice falters.

Sophie nods, causing some of the tears to escape.

“Where does that leave us? I don't understand...” Alex’s mind reels at the implications of what Sophie is saying.

“It never mattered before because I never fell in love. Before you.” Sophie looks sadly at the brunette.

“You love me but we can't be together properly. I mean, what? You want me to be some dirty secret? Stay hidden? I can never meet your family or introduce you to mine? We'll never get married or have kids? Is that what you're saying?” Alex looks at her with wounded eyes.

“I don't know, Alex. I don't know!” Sophie struggles to keep her emotions in check. She wanted all of those things. She'd never wanted them before. But she did with Alex.

“Ok. It's ok. I know that it can be scary and difficult, but I'm sure they'll be supportive. They'll just want you to be happy, right?” Alex runs her thumb over Sophie's knuckles.

“Not everyone has parents like yours. I'm not sure they'll be overjoyed to hear that I'm not going to give them grandchildren in the conventional sense. They're very traditional. What if they hate me?” Sophie breaks down then.

Alex brings her seat round to sit beside her girlfriend and holds her tightly. “I don't think they'll hate you. I don't think anyone who's met you could possibly hate you.” She drops a soft kiss to Sophie's temple. “You can't live a lie forever, Sophie. It'll eat away at you, more than it has already. You deserve happiness and to be who you are. Even if you don't end up with me, you have every right to love who you love.” Alex hugs Sophie to her until she starts to calm down.

“I'm sorry, Alex. You're so brave and honest about who you are. I wish I could be like you.” Sophie cups the brunette’s cheek in her hand. “I do love you. I've never loved anyone the way I love you.” She leans her forehead against Alex's. “If I have to tell them to keep you, then I will.”

“I love you too. You won't lose me, whatever you decide.” Alex would never force Sophie into this.

Sophie loves her even more for that. “You would try not to resent me for keeping you hidden, but it's too much to ask. I chose to live a lie, I can't ask you to stop being who you are or deny who you love just to hold on to you.”

“Sophie, I can't lose you. I never expected to find you, but I'm not letting go now that I have.” Alex kisses her deeply.

“I'll talk to them on Sunday. Maybe if we're all there, they won't take it so badly. They'd hate to make a scene.” She huffs out a harsh laugh.

“I'll be there, right beside you.” Alex vows and Sophie smiles warmly. “Is this what you've been fretting over?”

“When I heard Bernie say that you wanted to marry me, I freaked out. How could I be your wife and not tell my own family? And if I couldn't marry you, I'd have to let you go so you could be with someone else. Properly. And then I kept thinking about how I couldn't do that either. Imagining not being with you, having to see you with some other woman. I know I can’t do that. So I didn't know what that left me with...” Sophie rambles, beginning to get upset again.

“I can promise you, if I wasn't with you, there's no one else for me.” Alex wipes away Sophie's tears. “You're it for me.”

“I want everything with you, Alex. Marriage, kids, all of it. I have to tell them so that we can be together.” Sophie's conviction strengthens.

“Ok. If that's what you want. We'll talk to them on Sunday.” Alex lifts Sophie's hand to her lips and kisses the back.

“Now, let's have a nice dinner, maybe go for a quick drink and then home to have your wicked way with me.” Sophie smiles and kisses Alex softly.

“If that's what the lady wants.” Alex wasn't going to argue with that.

“Do you think your family will like me?” Sophie asks shyly.

“They'll adore you. As do I.” Alex moves back and they finish their meal chatting more relaxed and freely than before. “This is good. We should come here again.” Alex pays the bill and leads Sophie out of the restaurant.

“Let's just go home.” Sophie grabs the brunette’s hand, lacing their fingers as she walks.

“Yours or mine?” Alex smiles over at the other woman.

“Which is closer?” Sophie rests her head on Alex's upper arm.

“Mine, I guess.” Alex tries to work it out. “Tired? We could get a taxi if you want?"

“No. I want to walk.” Sophie squeezes Alex's hand softly. “Just don't want to wait too long before I can make love to you.”

“Right, I hear you.” Alex startles her by scooping her up in her arms and starting to carry her quickly in the direction of her apartment.

“Alex!” Sophie squeals, secretly delighted and starts to giggle into the brunette’s neck. “Put me down.”

“Not a chance.” Alex keeps going and only stops to kiss Sophie at intervals. “This is the quickest way home.” She laughs and moves to throw Sophie over her shoulder. “Unless you'd prefer a firewoman’s lift!”

“No! Alex!” Sophie laughs until her sides and belly ache.

Alex loves the sound of that laugh and she wants to do everything within her power to hear it always.

“I love you, Alex Dawson.” Alex puts Sophie carefully back on her feet, then Sophie flings her arms around the brunette’s neck and kisses her passionately.

“Good because I love you, Sophie Davis.” Alex beams. “Now, come on. I can see my building, we're almost there.” Alex tugs on Sophie's hand as they pick up the pace to get to her place.

They fall through Alex's front door, kissing and pulling at clothes on their way to the bedroom.

“We don't have to...” Alex tears her lips away from Sophie's. “I mean, if tonight was too emotional...we could just cuddle. I don't mind, I love holding you.” Sophie is immeasurably touched by this sweet woman.

“I know, but I want to. If you do?” Sophie looks up into Alex's eyes, worried that she doesn't want her.

Sensing Sophie's insecurity, Alex never wants her to doubt how much Alex loves and wants her. “Always, but just don't ever feel like you have to.” She encourages Sophie down onto the bed and rests on her hands above her. “You are beautiful.”

“I don't know about that, but I feel like I might be when you look at me.” Sophie stares deep into the brunette’s eyes and sees nothing but love staring back at her. 

“You are.” Alex bends down to kiss her tenderly. “I've never seen anyone so beautiful.” She tucks Sophie's hair behind her ear and kisses her again.

“What was it like when you told your parents?” Sophie suddenly asks, hand resting on Alex's heart.

“Well, they've known for a long time.” Alex pulls them up to lie against the pillows, arms around the other woman. “I told them when I was 17. My Mum said that she had known for a while and that it didn't matter. She said that she would always love me and I would always still just be her Alex. My Dad took longer to come round, didn't speak to me for weeks. Eventually, he just pulled me into a hug one day and said that as long as I was happy, then he was too.”

“You think my parents will accept me?” Sophie asks with a tremor of uncertainty in her voice.

“If they don't, and it's only an ‘if', then I'll be here for you. And we'll keep trying to make them understand how happy and in love we are until they do.” Alex squeezes Sophie to her and kiss her hair. “You'll not be on your own.” She vows.

“I love you.” Sophie curls into the brunette’s side.

“I love you too.” Alex strokes her hand along the length of Sophie’s arm.

They end up just talking into the night, until Alex glances down at Sophie and sees that she's fast asleep. She pulls the covers up to keep them warm and settles down to sleep beside the woman she loves. She silently prays that Sophie's parents will be supportive and see that she is still the amazing, fearless woman they raised. That they will accept how much they love each other and that Alex would do anything to make Sophie happy. She tries not to think about what might happen if they can't.


	22. Chapter 22

“Drinks later?” Bernie glances over at Alex, running on the treadmill beside her. The only other noise is the pounding of their feet against the rubber, she grabs the towel hanging from the side rail and wipes at her face.

They had a longstanding arrangement to hit the gym if they both had a slightly later starting shift.

“Yeah, Sophie and I will meet you there. Might be about 9pm. We're going to have dinner first. Serena coming?” Alex pants out as she ups the speed on her machine.

“She finishes at 6.30pm so I'll go over to hers for something to eat, then we'll come meet you both.” Bernie looks up to the clock on the wall. “Time to shower and get going I think.” She reduces the setting on her treadmill to a gentle jog to cool down for a few minutes.

She and Alex stand side by side to do their end of session stretches. “Things are going well with Sophie then?” Bernie looks over at her friend.

“Yep. I guess.” Alex’s clipped response makes Bernie stop and give her full attention to the brunette.

“What's up, Al?” Bernie sets her hand on Alex's shoulder to halt her movements.

“It's not really for me to say. It's Sophie issue, I don't think I should say anything.” Alex looks at the floor, clearly worried and uncomfortable.

“Ok...” Bernie watches her friend squirm. “If you need me, let me know. I wouldn't want you to break Sophie's confidence, but if I can help...” She sees Alex struggle with whether to say more.

“We're doing the whole meet the parents thing on Sunday.” Alex tells her.

“That's new! I don't think you've ever brought a girl home.” Bernie bumps shoulders with the brunette. “Your parents are lovely, so I doubt that's anything to fret over. Are you worried that they won't like Sophie?”

“I'm sure they will.” Alex grabs her spare towel from her gym bag, ready to jump in the shower.

“Are you worried that her parents won't like you?” Bernie asks the next obvious question.

“Kinda.” Alex replies. “I've never met a woman's parents before and my dating history isn't exactly a talking point.”

“You'll do great. Sophie loves you and you make each other happy. That's all her parents will care about.” Bernie reassures her best friend.

“Yeah.” Alex agrees unenthusiastically. “What about you? You gonna bring Serena home to your family?” Alex tries to steer the conversation away from herself.

“I have told Mum and Dad about her and they know we're planning on living together. I'll have to arrange it I suppose.” Bernie shrugs and steps into the nearest free shower cubicle, throwing her towel over the rail.

They have quick showers and change to head off in their separate cars to the hospital. They are like ships that pass in the night for most of their shifts, only getting to wave each other off at the end of the day to see their respective partners before meeting at the bar.

Serena and Bernie are already inside when the other couple get there. Alex smiles as she watches her friend holding hands with Serena on the table top, heads leaning in touching the other's, talking softly and laughing together. She was pleased to see Bernie so evidently happy and more relaxed and confident than Alex could ever remember. With a soft squeeze of Sophie's hand, she leads them over to join the pair.

“Hey, Al!” Bernie stands to hug her friend tightly. “Sophie, glad you could make it.” She smiles and gives her a quick hug.

Serena comes over to kiss Alex's cheek softly and does the same with Sophie. “Hello you two. Can I get you a drink?” She grins at the pair. Taking their orders she heads off to the bar.

“So the big meet on Sunday?” Bernie smiles as she sits back down with the other couple.

“You told her.” Sophie's tone is part accusatory and part hurt as she turns to Alex.

“No.” Alex raises her hands in surrender. “Just that we were meeting each other's parents. Nothing else.”

“It's true. That's all I know.” Bernie confirms, sensing that she may have inadvertently caused a rift between the pair.

“Sorry. Sorry Bernie. Sorry Alex. I'm just nervous.” Sophie leans into the brunette. “Sorry.” She whispers into Alex's ear and Alex responds by softly kissing her temple.

“It's ok. It'll be alright.” Alex tries to soothe her girlfriend.

“I hope so.” Sophie rests her head in the crook of Alex shoulder, as the brunette’s arm holds her to her.

Bernie smiles over at the other women, she was happy to see her best friend so settled and content, they were obviously good for each other.

Serena wanders back over with the drinks for everyone. “Here we are.” She sets everything down and takes her place next to Bernie.

“Thanks.” Alex and Sophie say in unison.

The four of them stay for a few rounds and have a great time in each other's company. After a while Alex announces that she and Sophie are heading home. They had plans to cuddle up on Sophie's couch and watch a DVD.

“I like Serena, she's good for Bernie.” Sophie smiles as they walk back to her house. 

“Yeah she is.” Alex agrees. “How are you feeling about Sunday?” She takes a chance and asks.

“I'm so nervous. It's one thing to tell them I'm gay, but I'm showing up with my partner. That's a lot to throw at them.” Sophie answers honestly.

“If you don't want me there -”Alex didn't want to make the situation harder for her girlfriend.

“No. Please. I want you with me.” Sophie stops them and grips Alex’s arm.

“Whatever you need, my love.” Alex smiles and pulls Sophie into a loving embrace. “I'll do anything I can to help.”

Sophie clings to the other woman. “I love you.”

“I love you so much, Sophie.” Alex drops tender kisses to Sophie's hair. “Let's go home.” She smoothed her hands over either side of Sophie's face and kissed her softly. “What movie do you want to watch?” She drapes her arm around the other woman’s shoulders as they start to walk again.

“I'm sure we can think of something more fun to do.” Sophie grins salaciously as she drags them towards her street and up to her front door.

Sophie has her pinned to the inside of the door as soon as it closes. Alex smiles down at her and then moans against the smaller woman's mouth as Sophie kisses her senseless.

“Get upstairs. Now.” Sophie commands, with a sultry stare and a pinch of Alex's bum, as they race up to the bedroom.

Alex is left pleasantly surprised when Sophie has her stripped before she even has time to initiate another kiss. “Someone's keen.” She smiles at the other woman as she watches Sophie undress, taking in her revealed curves with an expectant lick of her lips.

“You have no idea.” Sophie walks Alex backwards and climbs on top of her on the bed.

Alex groans in aroused anticipation as she feels Sophie wetness already present against her skin. She starts to reach out for the source but Sophie halts her progress by gripping her wrist and holding both her hands above her head. “Sophie, what are you doing? I want you.” Alex tries to half-heartedly wriggle free and leans up to kiss the woman on top of her, but Sophie moves out of reach, maintaining her grasp on Alex's wrists. Her attempts are only for show mostly, she was excited to see what Sophie had planned for her.

“Later. My turn first.” Sophie smiles and then begins covering all of Alex's front in kisses and licks as she works towards the apex of her thighs.

“Sophie, oh God that feels good.” Alex is in heaven with every touch. “Please, I need you.”

Sophie hums her consent against the warm flesh under her lips. She steals Alex's breath as she runs her tongue through the brunette’s folds. Her hand trails back up to palm and play with Alex's breasts. Alex lifts one leg to put her foot flat to the mattress, dropping her knee and opening herself up for Sophie.

“Uhh...yes...Soph...that’s it...I'm...” Alex fists a handful of dark locks and lets the pleasure building inside her take over. “I'm gonna...oh Sophie you're making me....YES!!!!” She arches like a bow, tightly strung and feeling incredible. “Fuck...oh shit...” She sinks into the mattress, barely feeling it underneath her, as her body seems to be deliciously numb and exhausted. “Christ, that was...” She looks down at Sophie emerging from her place between her legs and offers her a groggy smile.

Sophie kisses her way back up to the brunette’s mouth and giggles as she notes that Alex is too shattered to be able to return the kiss. “Feeling sleepy, my love?” She beams at Alex's drowsy nod.

Sophie pulls the brunette into her arms and runs her fingers through Alex's hair as she feels her submit to the tiredness settling over her body.

“Sweet dreams, Alex.” Sophie kisses her sweaty forehead softly and drifts to sleep beside her.

When Sunday comes around, they decide that Sophie will come with Alex to meet her family at 1pm. She would then join her own family when they arrive at 2pm and they could chat to them together.

“Oh now, you must be Sophie!” Alex’s Mum grabs her and hugs her tightly when she sees them coming in hand in hand.

“Yes, Mrs Dawson. It's lovely to meet you.” Sophie smiles at the other woman. She looks like Alex, but a lot shorter and Sophie likes her instantly.

“None of that. Call me Maggie. And this is my husband Bill.” Alex’s father, who clearly gave her her height, shakes Sophie's hand warmly.

“And this rabble is the rest of our brood.” Alex points out her brothers and sister, their respective wives and husband. She goes round each of the little ones and finds herself engulfed in bear hugs from all of her nieces and nephews at once. Sophie laughs as she watches Alex wrestle with them and can't help imagining her being the same with their own children. Alex catches her watching and smiles over at Sophie, a telling look in her eye.

“I know that look.” Maggie tears her away from watching Alex to turn towards the older woman. “You love my Alex and she clearly loves you. I'm so glad she's finally settling down. She's my oldest but she's still my baby girl, nothing will make me happier than having her marry a good woman and giving us more grandchildren.”

“Mum, take it easy. Sophie's only just met you. Please try not to scare her off.” Alex frees herself from the grips of the little ones and wraps her Mum in a loving hug.

“Let's sit and get some food in these bellies, eh?” Maggie sniffs away the tears threatening to fall and guides them over to the table.

Sophie sits and chats with them all as they eat, preferring to wait for her own family to have dinner.

“Are you going to marry Aunt Alex?” Alex’s oldest niece asks her with a serious face, before flashing her a toothless smile, she was missing her two front teeth, clearly at the age of waiting for her adult teeth. Sophie returns the smile easily.

“Oh well...I...” Sophie notes that everyone at the table has stopped eating to hear her answer.

“I haven't asked her yet, Anna.” Alex rescues her from flustered ramblings. “Some day. And you will of course be our very first choice for flower girl.” She winks at the girl and this seems to satisfy her young curiosity.

“Me flower girl too?” Alex’s younger niece asks.

“Absolutely, Lily. You too.” She smiles and looks over at Sophie. “Sorry.” She whispers to her partner.

“It's ok.” Sophie reaches for Alex's hand on the table. “I think it sounds perfect.” She rests her head for a moment on the brunette’s shoulder and smiles when Alex kisses her forehead.

“Your family will be her soon.” Alex breaks the spell by reminding her of the time.

“I guess so.” Sophie sounds sad and nervous.

“You ok?” Alex looks down at her anxious face.

“I can't imagine they'll be like your family.” Sophie confesses.

“We don't have to tell them today.” Alex offers.

“No, I need to tell them.” Sophie starts to get up to go wait for them over by the door.

“Sophie alright?” Maggie asks Alex as she watches the young woman pace by the entrance.

“Her parents and family are on their way too.” Alex explains.

“Oh how lovely, we can all get to know each other.” Maggie enthuses.

“No, Mum. They don't know about us. She hasn't told them about being gay yet. We're going to talk to them when they get here. Please don't get involved.” Alex casts a pleading look at her mother.

“Alright. If you need me, I'll be here.” Maggie strokes her daughter’s cheek and kisses it gently. “Look lively, they're here I think.” Maggie nods towards the door.

Alex watches Sophie greet each of them in turn before looking over to Alex for support as they head to a table across the way. Alex is beside her in an instant and tries not to read too much into the fact that Sophie shrugs her off as she reaches for her hand.

“Mum, Dad, everybody... This is Alex Dawson. She's my....we're...” Sophie struggles to get the words out. “...work friends.” Sophie's courage fails her at the very last second and she shuts her eyes and screws up her face at her own cowardice.

Alex falters for a moment, trying to compose herself as the unintended barb pierces her heart. “Um...I...Hello Mr and Mrs Davis. Pleased to meet you.” She extends her hand to Sophie's parents, refusing to look at Sophie.

“It's Lynn. And my husband Phil.” Sophie's Mum waves away the formality.

“Quite the coincidence. You being here.” Sophie's Dad shakes Alex's hand.

“Yes, sir. My family and I are here for dinner.” Alex gestures over to their table.

“Ah, you have a few strapping brothers there I see. None of them are single by any chance, could be perfect for our Sophie here?” He smiles unknowingly at Alex who feels like she might be dying.

“Dad!”

“Phil!” Both Sophie and her mother fix him with an icy glare.

“No. Afraid not, sir. All married.” Alex's heart disintegrates inside her chest. “I'd best get back to them.” Alex's voice is low and hurt as she turns to head over to her family.

“Alex...” Sophie calls out to her but she keeps walking, shoulders slumped and pushing away the first sting of tears in her eyes.

“Come on, Soph. Sit down. I'm starving!” Her Dad rubs his hands as he surveys the carvery. Sophie drops into the seat next to her Mum, struggling to stay composed after she has clearly crushed the woman she loves by denying her existence.

“Why don't you go sit with her? She seems lovely. Very polite, very friendly.” Lynn looks between her daughter and the brunette. “You should have mentioned that your girlfriend was coming too. We can see you any time, don't let us keep you.”

Sophie's head snaps round to look at her mother, stunned. “My what?”

“Is that wrong? Do you prefer partner? Significant other? Other half? You know what I mean.” Sophie's Mum looks at her expectantly.

“Come on, Soph. You're not going to deny it surely? She's hot. You picked a good one.” Her brother observes and is rewarded with a swift kick in the shin from his wife. “I was just being supportive.” He sulks as he rubs gingerly at the sore spot.

“You all know?” Sophie looks at the various faces at the table, each one nodding, even the kids.

“I don't know. What are we talking about?” Her Dad looks bewildered.

“Shut up, Phil. I'll explain later.” Lynn looks affectionately at her clueless husband. “Sophie, sweetheart I always knew. I just figured you'd come to me in your own time. You're my baby and that will never change. I can see that you love her, it's written all over your face. Hers too by the way. If you find someone who looks at you like that and you feel the same, you hold on for dear life. You hear me?” Lynn kisses her cheek lovingly.

“Alex, honey. Are you ok?” Maggie watches Alex play with the remainder of her food. “Did Sophie's parents take it badly?”

“She didn't tell them. I'm just a ‘work friend’ as far as they know.” Alex pushes her plate away, gutted. “Here, use this towards dinner.” Alex passes some money to her Dad. “Great to see you all. I gotta go.” She smiles bitterly around the table.

“Alex! Wait! Alexandra.” Maggie stands up and cups Alex's face as she sees the tears in her daughter's eyes. “I'm so sorry, baby. I know it hurts right now. But you keep your chin up. I am so proud of you for always being true to yourself and don't you let this or anything else stop you. She loves you and no amount of pretending otherwise will make a blind bit of difference in the end.”

Alex lets her Mum hug her fiercely as the tears start to come. “I'm gonna go home, Mum.” Alex pulls away to kiss her mother's cheek.

“You call me or come round whenever you need me.” Maggie makes Alex promise.

“Sophie, I think now might be a good time to go after her.” Lynn nods to Alex's departing figure.

Sophie springs up immediately to chase after the brunette.

“You mend this. Or you'll have me to answer to.” Maggie fixes Sophie with a no nonsense stare and stands cross armed. “Go on. Get going.” She shoos Sophie out after Alex.

“Alex! Wait, please! Alex!” Sophie runs after her and grabs her by the arm to stop her leaving. Her heart breaks when Alex turns around to reveal the tears running down her face. “I'm sorry.”

“For which part?” Alex snarls. “Reducing what we are to each other to barely more than work colleagues or when your Dad wanted to know if I had any more brothers to set you up with?” Alex was a mixture of fuming and devastated.

“I know. I know.” Sophie closes her eyes against the memory. “But it doesn't matter now because they already knew.”

“I'm pleased for you.” Alex sounds anything but. “Now you're free to be with someone properly, no more hiding.”

“Someone?” Sophie echoes numbly. “But not you? Alex, I want to be with you.” She clings to the brunette wildly.

“I can't. I thought I would be ok with you not telling them, maybe if that was what we'd talked about, decided together... But to be left standing there while you denied everything that we feel for one another nearly killed me, Soph. It was too painful. I just... I can't.”

“But they know now. Please, Alex I can't lose you.” Sophie stares at the brunette begging her to reconsider.

“Aw come on now, Soph.” Alex's voice is harsh and patronising. “We're ‘work friends.’ No great loss for you, I'm sure.” Her tone oozes sarcasm and pain before she walks away.

Sophie trudges back inside, where her Mum and Alex's Mum stand chatting and waiting. They glance up hopefully when they see her, obviously looking for Alex as well, their faces fall when she isn't there with Sophie.

“She's gone. It's over.” Sophie admits with a wobbly voice and a trembling lower lip. She breaks down as two sets of arms pull her into them.


	23. Chapter 23

One month later

Sophie approaches the CEO's office with cautious trepidation. She had read his email to come and see him first thing and she wasn't sure what to expect. She'd be the first to admit that her focus wasn't entirely on her work since the break up with Alex, but even as she wracks her brain for anyone who might have complained she comes up empty. Her 3 month performance review was next month and if it wasn't a disciplinary, then she had no idea what the man wanted.

She knocks purposefully on the door in front of her, trying to belie more confidence than she actually felt and waited to be called through.

“Ah, yes Ms Davis. Do have a seat, thank you for your time.” The man indicates a chair on the other side of his desk for her to sit in.

“Not at all, Mr Greyson.” Sophie smiles over at the man as she perches on the edge of the chair.

“I suppose you're wondering what you're doing here, so let me cut to the chase...” He focuses all of his attention on the woman opposite him. “...I've been inundated with correspondence from the Ukrainian hospital you were seconded to before your return 10 weeks ago.”

“I'm so sorry sir, I had no idea. They seemed perfectly agreeable to my coming home, I gave appropriate notice and I didn't think I was in any breach of contract.” Sophie apologises profusely.

“That is not the issue, Ms Davis. They were very impressed with your work and while they had originally agreed to you coming back, they want you to accept another 3 year secondment. Not quite the five years you signed up for but close enough.” Mr Greyson looks at Sophie as if he expects an answer right now. “I have, of course, agreed to have your post here left open for you at the end of the three years, unless you decide to stay on in Kiev.”

“Well, I...” Sophie was a little flummoxed, she hadn't been anticipating that. “Do they need an answer today?” She looks over at the CEO, unsure of what her answer would be in that case. She still held some hope, if she was honest with herself, that maybe Alex might give her another chance. The glimmer of hope grew smaller as each day passed by it was not gone completely.

“They need an answer by Monday. They wish for you to fly over at some stage in the next fortnight.” Mr Greyson informs her.

“I'll think about it. You'll have my answer by Monday at the latest.” Sophie assures him before being dismissed.

Her mind buzzes with the possibility, if Alex didn't want her then she would be on the first plane to Kiev. She'd miss her family as she had this time but she couldn't stand to see Alex everyday and not be with her. Yes there were much closer hospitals she could transfer to, but this might mean she could move on. Deep down she knew she was kidding herself, she would never move on from Alex Dawson, but all those miles of distance between them seemed awfully tempting. She could just run away...

She is lost in thought when she collides with another body coming the other way.

“Oh I'm sorry, I...” Alex comes face to face with the woman she had been thinking about instead of watching where she was going. Sophie had called and texted her most days, she even came to her apartment but Alex would never talk to her. Now here she was in front of her and Alex’s heart drums out a crazy rhythm just from looking at her.

“It's ok. My fault.” Sophie shuffles around her and keeps walking. She had too much on her mind to really register that she'd bumped into Alex and she carries on with her train of thought.

Alex’s brow furrows at the distracted way that Sophie had looked at her and for half a second she considers chasing her down to find out what was wrong. Instead she shakes it off and goes about her business, but it stays with her that that was the first time that Sophie hadn't cornered her and tried to convince her to give her another chance. It makes her more than a little sad to think that this might have been all the time it took for her to get over them.

“Soph, are you ok? You've hardly spoken to me since I got here and you haven't touched your lunch.” Lynn looks over at her daughter, eyes full of concern. She had been meeting Sophie more and more for lunch at the hospital since her split with Alex.

“Huh?” Sophie seems to snap out of whatever daydream she was lost in. “Sorry, Mum. A lot on my mind.” She takes a deep breath, might as well tell her Mum about Kiev. “I had a meeting with the CEO this morning. Kiev want me to go back for three years. I have until Monday to decide.”

“You're not thinking of going surely?” Lynn looks imploringly at her daughter. “Is this about Alex?”

Sophie flinches at the name. “I mean, there's no reason to stay here without her so...” Sophie feels herself starting to cry and wills the tears to stay away.

“She hasn't spoken to you at all since -” Lynn hazards.

“No, Mum. She won't talk to me.” Sophie cuts that thread of hope off.

Of course the brunette in question makes her appearance then to have lunch with Bernie. She spots Sophie but quickly looks away as Sophie stares longingly at her. Lynn tracks her progress across the canteen too and her heart breaks at the look on her daughter's face.

“I take it that you haven't told her about Kiev?” Lynn challenges.

“How can I when she won't speak to me?” Sophie counters bitterly. “Listen, Mum I've got to go. Surgery in 15 minutes.” Sophie stands and lets her Mum hug her tightly.

“I don't want you to just run away because you think she doesn't love you anymore. I can promise you that she does.” Lynn catches Alex's eye over her daughter's shoulder and makes her decision. “Take care, sweetheart. We'll talk about this later.”

“Bye, Mum.” Sophie smiles sadly and heads back to her ward.

Lynn marches straight over to Alex as soon as Sophie is out of sight. “I hope you're pleased with yourself.”

“Mrs Davis, I don't know what -” Alex didn't want to do this here with Sophie's mother.

“She's going back to Kiev. She got the offer this morning apparently. Three years!” Lynn practically screams at the brunette.

Alex thinks back to when Sophie had blanked her earlier, she must have just found out. Three years without Sophie, with her thousands of miles away, didn't bear thinking about. “She didn't say anything to me.” Alex's words are barely audible as she struggles to breathe.

“Of course she didn't. YOU won't let her talk to you.” She looks furious as she continues her tirade on Alex. “She'll go. She thinks you don't love her and she'll go because you're too stubborn to admit what we all know. You love her, I know you do. And she loves you just as much. What happened was my failing, not Sophie's. She thought that we wouldn't accept her just as she is and I will never forgive myself for that. Don't let her go. Please.”

“Mum?” Sophie had forgotten her purse, coming back to fetch it, she had seen her Mum shouting at Alex and came over to stop her. “What are you doing?” She seethes at her for interfering.

“Sophie I was just trying to -” Lynn starts to explain.

“Well don't.” Sophie snaps. “Just leave it alone. Let Alex eat her lunch in peace for God's sake.” She tries to drag her mother away but then Alex speaks.

“Is it true?” Alex asks Sophie’s back as she tries to get her Mum away from the brunette. “You're going back to Kiev?”

Something inside Sophie cracks then as her temper rises. “What if it is Alex?! Don't pretend that you care all of a sudden! It's none of your damn business.” She turns and keeps walking to try to get away from the wounded look in Alex's eye.

“Go after her.” Bernie prompts but Alex remains rooted to the spot, eyes fixed on Sophie as she leaves. “Alex, go!” Bernie practically shoves her away.

Alex somehow gets her feet to move as she starts to chase after Sophie.

“Sophie, hang on!” She calls out hoping to make her stop.

“Don't, Alex. I really don't have the strength for this right now.” Sophie waves her Mum off and pinches the bridge of her nose, before she walks back inside. “I'm sorry for whatever she said to you. Please don't think it came from me.” She says as she moves away, not bothering to look back at Alex.

“Were you just going to leave without saying anything?” Alex sounds hurt.

“I haven't decided anything yet, but I assumed we were past the point where you needed me to run my decisions by you first. I really didn't think you'd care since you won't even speak to me.” Sophie refuses to look up at Alex as she lets the lift doors close on the brunette.

“No!” Alex grabs the door before it closes and pulls it open again to step in.

“Alex, what are you doing?” Sophie looks up at her surprised.

“I don't want you to leave.” Alex shows her hand to the other woman.

“Why not?” Sophie asks breathlessly.

“Because, I -” Alex’s answer is interrupted by the lift arriving at Sophie’s ward.

Sophie tries to step off but Alex's holds her by the arm. “I'm due in theatre, Alex. I have to go.” She gently removes Alex's hand and walks away.

Alex watches her heartbroken. Sophie's Mum was right, she was going to lose her because of her own pig headed stubbornness and that thought makes her look away defeated.

Sophie thinks about what the end of Alex's sentence might have been for days afterwards. She shouldn't get her hopes up believing that Alex was about to declare her love but it plagued her regardless.

Both women had agreed to attend Bernie's moving in party at Serena's house before they knew they'd not be a couple at that point. Neither had the heart to turn the blonde down no matter how awkward it might be for them to see each other. So that Saturday night they end up there, torn between wanting to talk to each other and avoiding each other at all costs.

“Go talk to her.” Serena nudges Alex into action. She couldn't take much more of watching Alex mope around and stare forlornly at Sophie.

Alex starts to make her way over when someone steps into her path.

“You're Alex Dawson, right?” Some blonde woman asks as Alex watches Sophie.

“Yeah.” Alex answers distractedly, steadfastly ignoring the woman and keeping her eyes on Sophie.

“Hi. I'm Amy Hughes. I'm the new registrar on Bernie's ward.” She puts her hand out to greet the brunette and flashes a dazzling smile.

“Uh huh. Great.” Alex shakes the offered hand and tries to get past her to reach Sophie.

Sophie watches the younger woman single Alex out and approach her. She knew where this was headed and she didn't want to be here for that.

“Bernie, Serena. Thanks for having me but I'm gonna head off.” Sophie finds the hosts in the kitchen and says her goodbyes.

“Oh no. Don't go yet.” Serena had noticed the young, blonde thing hanging off Alex, but she had also noticed that Alex had no idea she was being flirted with because her eyes never left Sophie. “We haven't seen much of you all night.” Serena looks to Bernie for help.

“Yeah. Stay. We were just about to thank everyone for coming and then if you want to, you can get going.” Bernie tries to keep her there, senses what Serena's plan was.

“Alright.” Sophie relents.

Bernie heads off to gather all of their guests together for a bit of a speech.

“Hi everyone. Could we just have your attention for a sec?” Bernie calls out and gestures to Serena to join her. “Now, my lovely partner here thinks that I'm just going to thank you all for coming tonight and wishing us well with all of your generous gifts.” Bernie begins and Serena looks confused. “Well, we do thank you all very much, but there was another reason why I wanted you all to be here to share this with us.” Bernie fishes something out of her pocket as she kneels in front of Serena.

“Bernie, what's going on?” Serena watches her with big, surprised eyes.

Alex smiles widely as she twigs exactly what was happening. “Nice one, Bern.” She whispers her support unheard as she carries on watching.

“Serena, I love you. These past six months with you are easily the happiest of my life. I want to be with you for the rest of my days. Will you marry me?” The whole room goes completely silent waiting for Serena's reply.

“Yes!” Serena nods emphatically and flings herself at the blonde.

Raucous applause goes up as Bernie stands to place the ring on Serena's fingers and kisses her deeply.

Alex is the first to congratulate them when then break apart. “You kept that quiet!” She pulls Bernie to her for a crushing hug. “Congratulations!” She moves to hug Serena as well.

The crowd gathers to offer their own congratulations to the happy couple and Alex meets Sophie's eye, she can't help the wave of sadness that crashes over her thinking of how that could have been them one day.

“Ok everyone, if you could all join us for a dance to an appropriately soppy song we'd like you all to celebrate with us.” Serena calls out as she moves over to choose a song.

All of the other couples pair off, really only leaving Alex and Sophie staring at each other.

Alex makes her move and opens her mouth to ask Sophie to dance when she is tugged in the other direction by Amy.

“Come on, gorgeous. Let's dance.” She flings her arms around Alex's neck and leaves Alex little choice but to dance with her, all while Alex keeps her eyes fixed longingly on Sophie.

Sophie turns away upset and decides that now would be her time to leave. Alex watches her go, trying desperately to pull out of Amy's hold. She sees no sign of her when she manages to reach the street outside.

They don't see each other again until Monday morning and Sophie's mind is solely fixated on the fact that she hasn't given Greyson her answer. She has no idea what to do, maybe if she could talk to Alex, but that bloody registrar is following her around like a lovesick puppy. And she didn't know for sure that Alex wasn't interested. The woman was younger, thinner, prettier, so Alex’s head could have easily been turned.

Around lunch time she's had enough and decides to just bite the bullet and talk to Alex. She finds her in Bernie's office but she isn't alone, as Sophie watches unseen through the partly open doorway.

“So drinks tonight, just the two of us?” Amy asks eagerly, looking at the brunette with a small, telling smile.

“Hm?” Alex pays her no heed and continues writing up her notes in a patient's chart. Unfortunately the other woman misconstrues her disinterest as a hum of agreement.

“Great! Say, 8pm at the bar across the way?” She bounds over to Alex and places a soft kiss on her cheek.

Sophie has seen enough as she runs off the ward desolate.

“Wait, Amy. What?” Alex only just seems to realise what's going on when she jumps away from the kiss.

“Drinks tonight, you and me.” Amy repeats.

“No. I don't think so. You seem nice and I'm flattered but I'm in love with someone else.” Alex tries to let her down gently and leaves the office to head to her next surgery.

Sophie heads straight to Mr Greyson’s office, she could give him her decision now. She'd rather die than stay here and have to watch Alex with someone else. She knocks on the door and is called in.

“Tell them I'll do it.” She fixes her CEO with a determined look, she was going to Kiev.


	24. Chapter 24

“She's leaving, Mum.” Alex throws herself into her mother's embrace as Maggie holds out her arms on seeing the stricken look on her daughter's face.

“Sophie?” Maggie asks, already knowing the answer, as Alex nods into her shoulder with a muffled whimper. “Where to?”

“Ukraine.” Alex sobs into her mother's shirt. “I'll never see her again.”

Maggie brings Alex inside with an arm wrapped tightly around her waist. “Are you sure? Have you talked to her?” She guides Alex into one of their dining chair and flicks on the kettle, although really she thought this might call for something stronger than a cuppa.

“Hospital wide email came in at the end of shift to let everyone know.” Alex talks to her mother with her head in her hands, tears dropping onto the table top. “It's my fault, she tried to talk to me loads of times but I ignored her. I’ve driven her away.” Alex is inconsolable at that thought as she shakes and shudders as she weeps.

“Hush now, baby girl. I'm sure there's still time. When does she leave?” Maggie lets her daughter cling to her, just like when she was little.

“Day after tomorrow.” Alex sniffles and gasps between sobs.

“Well then, you just need to make her see sense before that. You need to tell her the truth, Alex. That you made a mistake in letting her go and that you love her. Now is not the time for pride, my darling.” Maggie drops a kiss to the back of her daughter's neck.

“But if she wants to go, I shouldn't stand in her way. She's made up her mind.” Alex wipes at her tears with her sleeve.

“Rubbish! I know what I saw that day, she loves you and no amount of anyone trying to convince me, will make me believe that she doesn't. You only have her to lose if you say nothing. You have to tell her, sweetheart.” Maggie stands firm.

Alex nods, she knows her Mum is right, but how will she make Sophie listen to her when she wouldn’t hear Sophie out? “I have to go, Mum.” Alex stands up, looking decidedly more hopeful than when she arrived.

“You go get her back.” Maggie stands and pulls Alex down to kiss her cheek. “Good luck, baby.” She smiles and waves her daughter off, sending up her own prayers that she can convince Sophie. If anyone could, it was her Alex...

Alex fires off a text to Sophie, willing her to reply:

A: Sophie we need to talk. Can I come over?

She wasn't hanging around for an answer, Sophie's house was only streets away. She starts up her car and speeds off to see her.

Sophie almost throws her phone at the wall when she sees Alex's text. Now she wants to talk?!

S: Alex I'm very busy getting organised for Kiev. Just leave it.

She sends her reply and goes back to packing up her stuff.

Alex reads Sophie's answer but she ignores it as she strides up to her front door and knocks loudly. She bangs and thumps and pounds on the door, ringing the bell incessantly. “Sophie! I know you're here. Open the door! Please!” Alex shouts against the wood of Sophie’s door, as she continues to hammer on it, waiting for her to let her in.

“Alex, for Christ’s sake! The neighbours will complain. What do you want?” Sophie hisses and drags her inside.

“You.” Alex replies and pulls her in for a heart stopping kiss.

Sophie is frozen as she tries to figure out what was happening and is just starting to reciprocate when reality hits her. “No. Alex. Stop.” She pushes the brunette away from her, confused and dazed.

“Please, Sophie. I made a terrible mistake. I never should have walked away from you. I'm so sorry. I love you. Please don't go.” Alex tries to kiss her again but Sophie backs away.

“Alex, I leave in two days.” Sophie grabs a handful of her own hair, this wasn't happening. “It's too late.” She makes the mistake of looking at the brunette then and seeing the pain take hold of her features.

“Sophie, I'm begging you. Is that what you want? I can get down on my knees.” Alex starts to kneel down and beg.

“No, Alex. Please don't.” Sophie waves her hands to stop her.

“Stay. Please stay.” Alex moves to rests her forehead against Sophie's. “Please stay with me.” She kisses all over Sophie's face and reaches her mouth. “Please.” She breathes out the word against Sophie's mouth and tentatively kisses her. When Sophie doesn't pull away this time, she kisses her again. She smiles against the other woman’s lips as she feels her starting to kiss her back.

“I can't...” Sophie sobs and moves away, wiping Alex off her mouth. “You need to go. Please, Alex.”

“Sophie -” Alex feels tears start to blur her vision.

“You just need to leave. Go Alex! I don't know what you want from me!” Sophie loses her cool.

“I just want you!” Alex shouts back at her.

“I saw you. In Bernie's office with Amy. I'm sure she'll help you forget me in no time.” Sophie covers her mouth with her hand and turns to walk into her kitchen, slamming the door behind her and sliding to the floor against it.

Alex approaches the door and slides down to sit on the floor, back to the door on the opposite side. “Sophie, is that why you're leaving? You think I'm interested in Amy?”

Sophie hangs her head in frustration. “Don't deny it. I saw you. She asked you out for drinks and you agreed, then she kissed you on the cheek.”

“I didn't agree to anything. I told her I wouldn't have drinks with her because I'm in love with someone else. You. I'm in love with you.” Alex leans her head back against the door and hugs her knees.

Sophie shakes her head on the other side. “You have the worst timing ever.” She huffs out a laugh at that.

Alex laughs in return. “I guess you're right.”

“I wish I could stay.” Sophie turns her head towards the door.

Alex closes her eyes against the meaning of Sophie's words, as tears slip out and roll down her cheeks. “What can I do to keep you here?”

“Everything's arranged. My flight is booked -” Sophie explains.

“Cancel it.” Alex interrupts her. “I'll reimburse you.”

“It's not about the money. They're expecting me.” Sophie stands up to open the door.

Alex jumps up to face her, tears soaking her face. “Please, Sophie. I'll do anything. I love you so much. I can't let you go.”

“I'm sorry, Alex.” Sophie reaches up to caress the brunette’s cheek and pulls her down to place a soft kiss to her other cheek. “I will always love you.” She whispers into Alex's ear and blinks against her own tears.

Alex is left speechless with grief. What else could she say or do? She nods defeated and heads for the door.

“Alex?” Sophie calls out to her softly and she turns back. “Everyone at the hospital is going for drinks tomorrow night to send me off. It would mean a lot to me if you would come. 8.30pm at the bar where we...um...the one that Bernie brought me to when we got back together, after...”

“I know the one. I'll see what I can do.” Alex croaks out her response and leaves.

Both women cry themselves to sleep that night, as all their hearts want is each other.

“You sure you wanna go in?” Bernie looks over to her friend worried as they reach the bar for Sophie's leaving do the next night.

“Let's just get it over with.” Alex steps inside with Bernie in tow.

“You came.” Sophie smiles and moves to hug both women. If Bernie notices that Alex and Sophie cling to each other for the longest time, then she has the good grace not to bring it up. Alex holds onto Sophie for as long as she can, trying to breathe as much of her in as possible and remember what it feels like to have her in her arms for when she's gone.

Sophie tries to keep her breathing steady as she grasps Alex to her as tightly as she can manage, making a memory of how it feels to hold her, by held be her and have her warmth pressed against her. Her nose is filled with a scent that was just Alex and her throat threatens to close over as all the accompanying emotions and memories overpower her.

Neither really want to let go, but Sophie is pulled away by other people coming to wish she well. Her eyes never leave Alex's face as she pretends to listen to all their heartfelt goodbyes.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Amy slinks up to Alex, oblivious to the look passing between her and Sophie. “I know you said that there was someone else, but since she never seems to appear, I'm just gonna assume you’re playing hard to get and try harder.”

“The answer is no Amy. No matter how many times you ask, I will always say no.” Alex walks away to get some air outside and is confronted with Sophie doing the same. “Oh sorry. Just needed some air. I'll leave you to it.”

“No it's alright. Stay if you like.” Sophie smiles up at her and makes space for her at the railings she was leaning her arms on. “Trying to escape the child stalker.” Sophie stares out into the darkness.

“She's relentless. I'm not sure if she just doesn't understand the word no.” Alex turns her back to the railing and leans against it beside Sophie. “Speak of the devil. Shit, here she comes.” Alex spins and ducks her head as if that might somehow help.

“Hey gorgeous.” Amy starts to head over and Alex does the first thing that comes to mind. Grabbing hold of Sophie, she crushes their mouths together for a bruising kiss.

They stay locked in their kiss long after Amy stalks away sulking. “Um...Alex...” Sophie mumbles against the brunette’s lips. “...I think she's gone.” She steps out of the kiss, much to Alex's disappointment.

“Doesn't mean we have to stop.” She smirks into another kiss, even deeper than the last one.

“I leave tomorrow, Alex.” Sophie reluctantly pushes away again, breathing harshly from all the kissing.

Alex wants to tell her again how in love with her she is. Wants to beg her to stay until she agrees. But they'd been through all that and Sophie was still leaving. So instead of saying any of that, all she says is “Better make the most of tonight then. Let's get out of here.” 

Sophie knows what Alex is asking for. She knows it won't help her leave tomorrow. Won't help them get over each other. But if tonight is all they have left, then Sophie can freely admit that she wants Alex. This is probably the last time she'll ever have her and so she lets Alex drag them away to wherever they're going.

“My place is closer.” Sophie observes, as she notes that they are walking towards Alex's apartment.

“If this is the last time I ever make love to you, I want you in my bed. Tomorrow you'll be gone and all I'll have is the smell of you on my sheets and the memory of you beside me. Just let me have those memories in my own bed. Please.” Alex knows she sounds ridiculous but she doesn't care.

They walk the rest of the way deep in their own thoughts. Both finding it hard to accept that this was it. By this time tomorrow Sophie would be in Kiev and they would mostly likely not see each other again for a long time, if ever. Alex wants to ask Sophie to stay and Sophie wants to say that she won't go, but neither speak.

Once inside Alex’s apartment, they find themselves suddenly shy and uncertain.

“I'll wait for you.” Alex blurts out, surprising even herself. “It's only three years. We could make it work.” She looks utterly broken as she hears how pathetic she sounds, clutching at straws.

“Alex, I can't ask you to do that. Long distance doesn't work for anyone. You'll find someone -” Sophie sighs and tries not to think of the brunette with another woman.

“No. No I won't. There is no one else. Not ever.” Alex is vehement.

Sophie knew there wasn't going to be anyone else for her either. “Just give it time. You'll see things differently after I go.”

“Don't go.” Alex pleads again, breaking her own rule not to ask it.

“Please don't do this, Alex.” Sophie's imploring look matches the brunette’s.

“I love you.” Alex brings Sophie into her arms and runs her fingers through Sophie's hair, trying to commit to memory how that feels for when she can't do it anymore.

“Alex -” Sophie won't survive this, she's sure.

“I'm not going to lie. I won't pretend that I don't love you, that this is just sex for me. Let me say it. I won't be able to after tomorrow.” Alex’s eyes take in every inch of Sophie's beautiful face, she knows the image will haunt her every time she closes her eyes, but she never wants to forget a single detail.

“In that case, I love you too.” Sophie smiles sadly up at the brunette and reaches out to trace her features with her fingertips. “You are so beautiful.” She whispers into Alex's lips as she leans up to kiss her tenderly.

Alex immediately deepens the kiss. Maybe if she kisses her hard enough, her taste will stay there on Alex's mouth forever.

Sophie moans as Alex's tongue enters her mouth, swirling around, making sure to taste every part of her mouth. Sophie does the same, hoping to never forget the unique taste of Alex Dawson. She begins clawing hungrily at the brunette’s clothes, desperate to feel skin on skin, when Alex pulls back.

“Slowly. I want to take my time. I want to remember this. Remember you.” Alex has no intention of rushing into a quick fumble, she needs to remember every part of this. In 24 hours, the memory will be all she has left.

“Sorry.” Sophie's breathing is laboured as she gasps out the apology. “I want you so much.” She confesses as Alex leads them into the bedroom.

Alex does indeed take her time undressing them both. She studies every curve, every freckle, every scar. As she runs her fingers over the scars in particular, she realises that she doesn't know how Sophie got any of them. She never thought to ask, she desperately wishes she had. She knows this woman inside out and yet she feels like she hardly knows her at all. If only they'd had more time. Time for her to be sure she knows all there is to know.

Alex casts her eyes up to Sophie’s as she strokes at one scar on the right side of her abdomen and wonders if she's having the same kind of thoughts. “Appendix?” Alex asks.

“Hm, when I was 12. Got my first girl crush on the surgeon who did the operation. Ms Peterson, she was called. She's kinda the reason why I'm a paediatric consultant now.” Sophie admits with a small smile.

“Really?” Alex chuckles at that and bends to kiss the scar tenderly.

“What about this one under your chin?” Sophie tilts Alex's head back as she stands back up.

“Tripped on Sara's skipping rope in our back garden, whacked it on the patio tiles. 6 stitches. I was 11 and she was 5.” Alex smiles when Sophie kisses the scar.

They continue like that for a while, sharing stories about their scars and placing warm kisses on each other's skin.

“I want to kiss every part of you.” Alex takes to the task with careful attention. She wants to remember how every inch of Sophie feels against her lips, how it feels under her fingertips, so that she can recall everything about her perfect body. If it would no longer be able to keep her warm, then the memories were all she had. 

Sophie tries to hold back the tears as she hears and feels Alex whisper ‘I love you' over and over again before each kiss. She should have known this was a bad idea but she couldn't refuse. She couldn't pass up the chance to touch Alex and have Alex touch her, even if it was the very last time.

They make love for hours, whispering words of love and apologies into the other's skin, each hoping it might permeate the flesh and settle in the other's heart forever. There are tears and smiles and laughter and boundless, undeniable love.

When they are too exhausted and emotional to continue, they lie in each other's arms and hold on tightly.

“I don't want to go to sleep. I just want to look at you all night.” Alex tries to fight off the fatigue getting the better of her. “I don't want to wake up tomorrow without you.” 

Sophie can feel the warm tears dropping onto her neck, as Alex buries her face in the skin there and struggles in vain against the sobs overtaking her. “Alex, I...” She swallows down the rest of her sentence ‘want to stay here with you.’ She shuts her eyes against the tidal wave of sadness threatening to drown her. “Get some sleep, my love.”

“I'll never forget you, Sophie Davis.” Alex feels her eyelids growing heavy as Sophie holds her.

“I'll never forget you either, Alex Dawson.” Sophie hears Alex's breathing become slow and even, as she lets a single tear track down her cheek. It takes quite a while for her to follow Alex into slumber.


	25. Chapter 25

It is almost dawn when Sophie starts to wake up. She looks over at Alex beside her and her heart clenches in her chest. Last night was amazing, but she tries to tell herself that it was just a way to say goodbye. Now that she'd been with Alex again, she just wanted more. Wanted it all. She could just stay here, forget Kiev.

Instead, she lifts the covers and gently extricates herself from Alex's hold, grabbing her clothes off the floor, she puts them on in the semi-darkness, trying to let Alex sleep. Unable to resist, she kneels down beside Alex and kisses her softly, one last kiss before she has to go.

Alex stirs slightly and follows Sophie's lips with hers as she pulls away from the kiss. “Still early. Come back to bed. I'll make breakfast later and drive you in for your shift.” She smiles sleepily at Sophie, clearly still half dreaming, she didn't remember that Sophie was leaving. Sophie wanted nothing more than to climb back in beside the brunette and spend her morning in Alex's arms.

“Go back to sleep, Alex. I'll miss you.” Sophie chokes on the words as she strokes Alex's hair softly until she falls asleep again. “I love you.” She places a lingering kiss to the brunette’s forehead and stands up to go. Searching for a scrap of paper and a pen, she writes a note for Alex to find after she's gone. She kisses Alex's name on the front of the note, before slipping out the door to go home and get ready to go to the airport.

Sophie walks back to her house in a fog of tears, as every step sees her desperate to turn and go back to Alex. She had said no when Alex had asked to come to see her off at the airport. She knew she'd never get on the plane if the brunette was there. She would gather together all of her things and head to her parents' house, her Mum had offered to take her to the airport.

Alex wakes up a while later and fumbles to shut off her alarm, slamming her phone back on to the bedside table with a groan. It doesn't hit her right away, until she reaches out for the woman who should be beside her and finds nothing but cool sheets. She bolts upright suddenly, trying to work out where Sophie was. She remembers then all about Kiev and throws herself back on to her pillow, fist pounding the mattress beside her. She'd never felt anything like this, as if someone was in fact ripping her heart out of her chest and stamping on it. But Sophie had been here, she hadn't dreamt it surely. She vaguely recollects waking up earlier and talking to her. Why hadn't she fought harder to wake up and say something meaningful? Beg her to stay again? She should have insisted on knowing the details of her flight and taking her to the airport. Now she'd never see her again. Alex buries her head in the other woman’s pillow, comforted and taunted by her scent in equal measure.

She drags her heartbroken ass out of bed and begins her day. She stands numbly under the spray of her shower and tries not to picture having made love to Sophie in there. She brushes her teeth and changes to go to work on automatic pilot. She knows she can't stomach breakfast and she is just heading out when she sees it. Propped up in the centre of her dining table is a note with her name on it. In Sophie's handwriting. She lifts it carefully, not sure if she really wants to read it and runs her fingertip over the loops and curls of her name in Sophie's delicate cursive, before flipping it open:

‘Alex,  
I wish I knew what to say to explain how much I love you and how sorry I am that I have to leave you. Last night was the most beautiful thing I have ever shared with anyone and you have no idea how hard it is to walk away from you today. I will never forget our time together and there will never be anyone else for me.  
Take care of yourself, please.  
All my love, always.  
Sophie xx’

Alex scrunches the paper into a ball and throws it into a corner of the room in temper. Sophie should be here and this shouldn't be happening. She walks over to fetch the screwed up note and smoothed it out again as best she could, slipping it into her pocket. She snatches her keys and wallet off of the coffee table and heads out to her car.

She drives at speed over to Sophie’s house but her car isn't there. Even as she knocks loudly and rings the bell, part of her knows that Sophie is gone and there will be no answer. “Sophie! If you're in there please let me in!” She shouts to no avail until her voice is hoarse and still nothing. “Please, Sophie...” Alex has to admit that she isn't there and she has no idea where her family live or how to contact them. She knew they lived by the old mill, but there were too many doors to knock on trying to find the right one.

She has a bit of time before her shift starts so she drives over to see her Mum.

“She's gone.” Alex breaks down at the door to her childhood home when her Mum opens it.

“Oh sweetheart, come here.” Maggie wraps her daughter up in a warm hug and helps her inside.

“I tried her house but it's too late. I don't know where her parents live or what airport the flight is out of. I could fly to Kiev and look for her...” Alex schemes out loud. “...I don't know how many hospitals they have or which one she's working at. I could ask Mr Greyson, he would know probably. If I Google hospitals in Kiev, then just try them all until I find her... But what do I do if she refuses to come back with me?” Alex looks up at her mother with tear filled eyes. “I don't know what to do.” She fishes the note out of her pocket and shows it to Maggie. “This means she loves me, right?” She presses the note flat on the table to let her Mum read it, watching her expression with a hopeful gaze.

“Last night?” Maggie looks over at her daughter.

“Oh um, we...that's just...” Alex flushes under her mother's scrutiny. “You think I have a chance? She still loves me, doesn't she?” Alex asks uncertain.

“I know she does. I can't believe she really went to be honest.” Maggie couldn't understand Sophie's behaviour at all.

“Should I go to Kiev?” Alex asks for her mother's advice.

“Are you sure she's already on her way there?” Maggie wouldn't say her motives for wanting Alex to stay here were entirely selfless, but equally she didn't want her running all over Kiev looking for someone who wasn't even there.

“I guess... Her car isn't at her house but without the flight details I have no idea.” Alex huffs frustrated. “If she really did love me, she would have stayed...” Alex has to face facts.

“I'm so sorry, baby girl.” Maggie would throttle Sophie if she ever saw her again, for hurting her daughter and making her doubt herself.

“I have to get to work.” Alex sighs heavily and heads back to her car.

“You're early.” Lynn wasn't expecting to see her daughter for a few hours yet.

“Just thought there was no point hanging around at home. I'm all packed and ready so...” Sophie wouldn't tell her that she was just trying to avoid a confrontation with Alex if she came looking for her.

“Ok...” Lynn can see that there's more to it, but she doesn't push. “Have you had breakfast?” She ushers Sophie into the kitchen to sit at the table.

“Not hungry.” Sophie couldn't face food right now.

“Your flight isn't for a few hours, you need to eat, sweetheart.” Lynn tries again but Sophie just shakes her head. “Lydia and Pete and everyone send their love and wished you a safe flight.”

“I know. They came to the leaving drinks last night.” Sophie offers her mother a small smile.

“They mentioned that they saw you leaving with Alex.” Lynn drops in that little nugget and waits for her daughter's reaction.

“Don't start, Mum. Alex and I are not getting back together. She and I...we're just...I don't know what we are, but I'm still going to Kiev.” Sophie looks sharply at her mother to signal that she doesn't want to talk about it.

“Are you sure this is what you want? Hospitals will always be in Kiev but Alex -” Lynn starts.

“Alex will find someone else easily enough.” Sophie thinks of all the Amy Hughes' of the world.

“And you? Will you find someone else?” Lynn wraps her hand over the top of Sophie's.

“There is no one else for me.” Sophie replies sadly, eyes shining with tears.

“Then don't walk away from her. She loves you and she made you happy. You don't look happy to me, Soph.” Lynn only wants her to have a chance of real love and true happiness. “Kiev won't make you anywhere near as happy as Alex did.”

“Can we stop talking about her please?” Sophie begs.

“I just want what's best for you. I only saw a glimpse of how happy she made you and I've never seen you so happy before. I've never seen you so miserable as you are now without her either.” Lynn pulls Sophie to her as she starts to cry.

“I thought she had found someone else and that's why I agreed to go to Kiev. Turns out that wasn't true and now it's too late to take it back.” Sophie sobs and clings to her mother.

“It's never too late, my darling. Passing up a job isn't the same as giving up on love. They'll maybe not appreciate being messed around at the last minute but so what? Alex is worth it, isn't she?” Lynn asks.

Sophie sniffs and wipes at her face to get rid of the tears. “You always taught us to honour our commitments.” She counters.

“Not at the expense of your happiness. Nothing else is more important.” Lynn kisses her daughter's forehead. “You'll regret it if you don't find out how wonderful life with Alex could be.”

“Can you take me to the airport now?” Sophie asks suddenly.

“Soph, I think you should think about this.” Lynn warns her.

“Alex isn't going to just forgive me for all of this. I can't stay here and not be with her. I need to go.” Sophie starts to get up. “I'll put my cases in your car.” She walks out to move her luggage to her mother's car.

Lynn shakes her head and follows her out. If she couldn't get through to Sophie then she'd go to Alex. Even with dropping Sophie at the airport and coming back, she'd still have time.

Sophie hugs her father goodbye and sets off with her mother to the airport. She is thankful that she doesn't bring up Alex again and just hugs her tightly before leaving her to wait for her flight.

“Al, why don't you go home?” Bernie could see that her friend was struggling, obviously because Sophie was flying out today.

“I'm fine.” Alex tries to smile rather unconvincingly. “What's next on the agenda?” She looks over at her friend.

“I have to go see Mr Greyson. I'll be back at half past for Mrs Foster’s op.” Bernie glances over at Alex. “Are you sure you're alright?”

“Fantastic.” Alex quips and tries to ignore the concern on her friend's face. “Hey Bern, you think Greyson knows whereabouts in Kiev Sophie is?”

“Why?” Bernie’s forehead crinkles at the question.

“No reason. Forget it.” Alex brushes it off and Bernie reluctantly leaves her to it.

“Well hello, Dr Dawson.” Alex grimaces when Amy slopes into the office. She had just been waiting for Bernie to leave Alex alone.

“Not a good time, Amy.” Alex keeps her eyes firmly on reviewing Mrs Foster’s medical history before her procedure.

“I know, you must be devastated. But since Ms Davis was clearly who you are in love with and she's gone now -” Amy looks far too smug for Alex's liking.

“Get out.” Alex tries to hold her temper.

“Hear me out. I just thought that you might need someone to help you get over her. I'd be happy to help you forget her.” Amy perches herself on the end of the desk Alex was using, expecting the brunette to take her up on her offer.

“Well, there are two flaws in that plan, Amy.” Alex fights to keep her tone light, when all she wants to do is scream at the woman to fuck off. “Firstly, I don't want to forget her. I can think of nothing I want less actually. Secondly, there isn't a single thing about you that I'm attracted to. Compared to her, you are just a silly little girl, throwing your toys out of the pram because someone dared to say no to you. The idea that you could make me forget her is laughable.”

“Well, there is only one flaw in your plan, Dr Dawson.” Amy throws the brunette’s words back at her with added spite. “I'm here and she's not. Such a shame that you love her so much, when she would rather be in Kiev than anyway near you.”

Alex snaps the pen she'd been using in two with her thumb in a fit of rage.

“Alex, don't!” Bernie sees her friend's temper break and wants to stop her from doing anything stupid. “Ms Hughes, perhaps you're not familiar with the sexual harassment policy here at St James. Consider this a very serious verbal warning. You and I will be sitting down with HR tomorrow to discuss your future here. If you so much as glance in Dr Dawson’s direction ever again, I'd start checking the classifieds for alternative employment. Are we clear?”

“Yes Ms Wolfe.” Amy scurries off rather red faced.

“Here.” Bernie passes a piece of paper to her friend.

“What's this?” Alex looks between it and Bernie.

“Name and address of the Ukrainian hospital you were asking for.” Bernie smiles as Alex's face lights up.

“How did you -” Alex feels tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

“Greyson. I presume you're going after Sophie, yes?” Bernie beams at the look on her best friend's face.

“You are the best best friend ever!” Alex jumps up to wrap Bernie in a fierce bear hug, lifting the blonde off her feet and spinning her around.

“Al! I'm pleased you're grateful but could you put me down?” Bernie laughs.

“Right. Yes. Sorry.” Alex sets her down gently.

“Mrs Foster?” Bernie tilts her head towards the ward and opens the door to almost trip over a woman about to knock.

“Mrs Davis, hello.” Alex looks sheepishly over at Sophie's mother. “Is everything alright? Is it Sophie?” Alex expression turns panicked.

“She's fine. Well, no she's not. But she will be.” Lynn answers rather cryptically. “I need to ask you something Alex and I want your honest answer please.”

“Yes ma'am.” Alex waits for the woman to continue.

“Do you love my Sophie? I need to be sure that you will look after her and make her happy.” Lynn looks steadily at the brunette.

“I love her more than anything. I swear to you that, if she'll let me, I will always do everything in my power to make her happy. I would never let anyone hurt her.” Alex hopes she's said enough.

“She loves you too and I know in my heart that she doesn't want to go to Kiev. So I need your help.” Lynn steps closer.

“What do you need me to do?” Alex asks determinedly.

“This is all of her flight information. Go get her. Bring her home.” Lynn passes the sheet to Alex.

“Go on. That's what the on call anaesthetist is for. We'll manage.” Bernie agrees.

Alex grabs her coat, phone and keys and races out of the office, still wearing her scrubs. She hurries back in to hug and kiss Bernie and Lynn before heading off again.

Sophie is a mess as she fidgets anxiously, waiting for her flight to be called. She had almost walked out and gone home countless times already. She jumps ten feet in the air when her phone rings. Alex. She rejects the call but it rings again straight away.

“Alex, what do you want?” Sophie tries to sound stern but she missed the brunette’s voice already.

“So...com...to air...don't...” Alex’s signal is terrible, wherever she is.

“What? Alex I can't understand you, you're breaking up.” Sophie covers her free ear and presses the phone closer to her other ear, straining to hear her.

“Don't...plane...I'm almost...” The line goes dead. “Shit!” Alex puts her foot down and hopes she can make it, she was nearly at the airport now.

Sophie hears her flight being called over the speakers and gathers her hand luggage to make her way to the gate.

Alex throws her car into any space at the car park and runs all the way inside. She searches wildly for Sophie's flight on the board against the flight number that Mrs Davis had given her. Gate 19. Alex hurtles towards security.

“I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't let you through without a boarding pass.” The burly security officer informs her.

“No, you don't understand. I'm not flying anywhere. I need to speak to my girlfriend. She's on this flight, gate 19.” Alex shows the man her paper but he just turns her away. “Fine.”

Alex spies the ticket desk and goes to procure herself one of these boarding passes. “I need a ticket for this flight to Kiev please.”

“I'm sorry miss. That flight is fully booked.” The woman at the desks looks up with a tight, closed mouth smile.

“I just need a boarding pass. Whatever flight still has seats.” Alex taps her foot agitated and impatient.

She pays an extortionate price for a ticket to Sydney and offers up her thanks to the credit card Gods when it isn't declined.

“Passport?” The woman asks.

Alex's face drops. “I don't have my passport. Look, I'm not really trying to fly anywhere. My girlfriend is on this flight and I just need to find her and take her home with me. Please. That guy said I couldn't get in without a ticket.” Alex points to the security officer and pleads with the woman to let her through to Sophie's gate.

“I'm sorry miss. You can't get a ticket without a valid passport.” The woman shakes her head.

“Aw, come on!” Alex pounds her fist on the desk and sees security move towards her out of the corner of her eye. “Please, I'm begging you. I need to go through to her gate.” Alex struggles to keep her emotions in check.

“Carl!” The woman waves over a security officer. “This lady needs to speak to one of the passengers on this flight.” She takes the paper from Alex and shows it to the man. “It's gate 19. An emergency. Can you show her through?” The woman winks at Alex.

“Thank you.” Alex grabs the woman's hand and squeezes it warmly.

“This way, ma'am. You'll have to go through all of our security checks.” The man has Alex place her phone, keys and wallet into a tray and step through the scanners.

Alex races ahead of the security officer to get to Sophie’s gate.

“Gate's closed I'm afraid.” The staff on the gate won't let Alex past.

“Motherf...” Alex tries to bite her tongue. “The flight doesn't leave for another 45 minutes.” She points to the departure time on her sheet.

“All non-domestic flights close earlier. It's for security. I can't breach policy.”

“This lady needs to see one of the passengers. It's an emergency.” Carl explains and Alex looks back over at the gate attendant hopefully.

“It's the rules. What’s the emergency? Maybe I can get a message through to the flight staff.” The woman lifts some sort of walkie talkie.

Alex flounders. “Um...it's not exactly an emergency per se.” She rubs nervously at the back of her neck. “It's my girlfriend. I need to get her to stay here.”

They all look sympathetic but it's a no.

Carl escorts Alex back through to the main foyer.

“Excuse me, miss!” The woman at the payment desk gestures to Alex, who walks towards her. “No luck?”

Alex shakes her head dejectedly.

“I need to refund your Sydney flight on to your card.” The woman holds her hand out for Alex's credit card.

“When's the next flight to Kiev?” Alex has no choice but to go after Sophie now.

“Let me see...” The woman taps on a few keys at her computer. “...same time. This day, two weeks.”

“Two weeks?!” Alex shouts incredulous. She trudges outside completely deflated. The floodgates open as she slumps down onto a bench and weeps. She was too late. Sophie was gone.


	26. Chapter 26

Alex was beyond heartbroken. How was she going to go back without Sophie? Face Mrs Davis and tell her she'd failed miserably? At best, she'd have to wait for a fortnight to go after Sophie, and maybe she wouldn't want to come home. Or maybe there would be sooner flights from another airport. Her head throbbed and her heart ached. She should never have let Sophie go all those weeks ago and none of this would even be happening now. She is just gathering the strength to pick herself up and head back to her car, when the most beautiful sound in the entire world filters through the opening and closing of the automatic doors beside her.

“I really am very sorry, sir. I just had to get off the plane.” Sophie looks contritely over at the security officer leading her to the exit and helping her with some of her luggage.

“What is it about that flight to Kiev today? We only just got rid of some woman, in hospital scrubs no less, trying to charge through security to speak to her girlfriend.” He shakes his head, it was shaping up to be a funny old day alright.

“What? Where is she? What did she look like? Is she still here?” Sophie searches frantically. It couldn't be. Alex...

“There she is.” The man points out a figure by the doors. Sophie struggles to see who he's pointing to through the throng of people.

As the sea of bodies parts, almost as if in slow motion, Sophie sees her at the same time as Alex spots her, enormous matching grins breaking out on their faces. Dropping everything she was holding, she runs at her. “Alex!”

“Sophie...” Alex pushes her way through to reach her and is almost knocked off of her feet as Sophie throws herself into her arms.

“I just couldn't do it. I couldn't leave you.” Sophie admits as she covers Alex's mouth with her own in a hard, desperate kiss.

“I tried to get them to let me through the gate. I thought you'd left. I thought I was too late.” Alex laces the fingers of one hand through Sophie's hair and cups her face to kiss her again. “I was going to take the next flight out to find you, but they said it was two weeks away.” Alex ignores the tears soaking her cheeks. “I thought I'd lost you.” She kisses Sophie deeply and holds her tightly.

“Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.” Sophie punctuates each word with a soft kiss. “I'm so in love with you, Alex. I'll never leave you again.”

A throat being cleared behind Sophie halts their next round of kisses.

“Excuse me, ma'am. Your luggage.” The security officer had brought all of Sophie's bags over to the couple.

Alex reluctantly lets Sophie go, to let her stand up again and they thank the man, then the brunette helps Sophie take her luggage out to Alex's car. It's no mean feat, but they somehow manage to hold hands the whole way.

Alex makes a quick call to Bernie to tell her the good news and request the rest of the day off. Her best friend says that she can have until the end of the week.

“I'll have to speak to Mr Greyson. He must have found a locum already. I'm not sure he'll be very impressed.” Sophie smiles in spite of her words.

“There are other hospitals if necessary. As long as we're together...” Alex places a gentle kiss to the back of Sophie's hand as they settle in for the drive home.

“...nothing else matters.” Sophie finishes the thought looking deep into the brunette’s eyes. “Let's go home.”

Alex takes them to Sophie's house and thinks she can hear Mrs Davis squeal with joy when her daughter phones her to tell her she's staying put.

“I think she's pleased.” Sophie chuckles when she hangs up.

Alex opens the boot to start unloading Sophie's bags, when Sophie places her hand on Alex's arm to stop her.

“Leave them for later. There's something else more important to do inside.” Sophie raises an eyebrow in invitation and drags Alex to the front door. She fumbles to put the key in the lock as Alex holds her from behind and kisses her neck softly.

Somehow they make in through the door, up to the bedroom and start stripping each other impatiently. Their kisses are messy and hungry and completely perfect as they crash side by side onto the covers.

“I never thought I'd get to do this again.” Alex’s voice is thick with emotion.

“I should never have agreed to go. I never wanted to leave you. I just thought that you didn't want me anymore, that you were interested in Amy. Then it was too late to change my decision when I found out it wasn't true.” Sophie looks at the brunette, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“I never want anyone else. Just you, Soph. Always, only you. Please don't ever doubt that again. If I hadn't been so quick to walk away that day, I...” Alex tries to articulate her feelings but they just clump in her throat.

“It doesn't matter anymore. Let's not think about it.” Sophie soothes the brunette with more tender kisses.

Sophie rolls Alex onto her back and climbs on top of her, straddling her hips. She smiles down at Alex as she leans in to cover the brunette’s mouth with her own.

“I love you.” Alex sits up until Sophie is essentially in her lap. She tugs gently on the other woman’s hair, tilting her head back and exposing her throat to Alex. She smiles into the smooth skin of Sophie's neck as she blazes a trail of hot, wet kisses all over her skin, while Sophie moans softly with each pass of Alex's lips.

“Alex...” Sophie's moans increase in frequency and volume as the brunette flicks teasingly at her harden nipples with her thumbs as she kisses her. “I love you. Oh God, I love you so much.” Sophie gasps out the words as she surrenders to the pleasure thrumming through her.

Alex's hands move away from Sophie's breasts and run up and down her sides instead. She smiles softly at the feel of the woman's curves against her fingers, revels in the dips and rises of her gorgeous body. “Sophie, do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”

Sophie can't and doesn't want to contain the bright smile at hearing Alex's words and the feeling of her lips continuing to brush over her flesh. Her fingers thread through brunette hair, holding Alex to her as the kisses leave her body feeling like it was gloriously on fire, the warmest part of which seems to be burning between her legs.

Alex's next move only serves to fan the flames of her desire as she dips her hand down to enter her slowly with two fingers. The groan that fills the room seems to come from both women at once.

Sophie was so turned on that she could barely draw a breath. Her mouth seeks out the brunette’s, and her kisses are sloppy, messy, divine. She is too focused on the feeling of Alex inside her again, kissing and touching her again, to be able to worry about the lack of finesse in their meeting of lips and tongues. It was utter perfection. Her hips rolling and thrusting into Alex's hand as she gives her body over to the other woman.

‘Alex...I love you, Alex. I love you so much.” She pants the words out, mouth barely moving away from the lips against hers, she surges forward again for more. “I want you to come with me.” After each word she steals another greedy kiss. Slowing the movement of her own hips, she drags one hand out of Alex's hair and trails down the middle of her lover's body, until she finds her warm, wet centre and strokes the slickness she finds there, eyes growing wide and dark as she takes in the obvious pleasure on Alex's face.

They work each other up softly and slowly to intense release, every ounce of feeling they have for the other tenderly communicated in every touch and kiss.

“Sophie!” Alex cries out the name of the woman she loves as she falls sharply over the edge. Her voice sounding almost broken as she shudders into a final kiss, her body trembling as Sophie swiftly joins her.

“Oh God, Alex.” Sophie is shaking too, face twisted with euphoria as she floods the brunette’s hand as she climaxes.

Alex uses her free hand to sweep Sophie's hair back and look deep into those breath taking eyes as they both start to recover.

Guiding them gently down on to the mattress, Alex pulls the duvet up to throw over their tangled bodies. She smiles as she feels Sophie drop a kiss to her bare shoulder before she snuggles into the brunette.

“I really love you, Alex Dawson.” Sophie confesses drowsily, as their efforts have worn her out completely. It didn't help that she hadn't slept very much the previous night.

“Hmmm.” Alex sighs out a contented hum of acknowledgement as she beams at the words. “And I love you, Sophie Davis. More than I can even put into words.” She pecks lovingly at Sophie's forehead as she too feels exhaustion settle over her.

“I won't ever leave you again.” Sophie asserts.

A plan forms in Alex's mind just as they are drifting off to sleep. She couldn't risk losing Sophie. She had come far too close this time. Never again. She knew what she had to do. A knowing smile plays on her lips as she slips into deep and peacefully slumber, Sophie wrapped safely in her arms. This was how it was always supposed to be.

The shrill of Sophie's phone ringing from somewhere in their pile of clothes wakes them up later.

“Sorry.” Sophie smiles over at Alex's drowsy form, then she slides off the bed to search through the heap until she finds it. “Hi Mum.”

Alex follows her out of the covers and starts to put her clothes back on. Sophie grabs her by the wrist with her free hand and shakes her head, pointing the brunette back to her bed. Alex scrunches her brow but obliges by climbing back under the duvet while Sophie finishes chatting to her Mum.

“She wants us to come over for dinner one night this week.” Sophie slips back in beside Alex, sliding her phone onto the bedside table.

“Alright. We're both off so whatever night you want.” Alex smiles and cuddles into the other woman, peppering her skin with soft kisses.

“Let's just stay here today.” Sophie suggests as she tilts into the brunette's touch. “And we'll have to order in for food. I emptied the fridge and freezer before I left.”

“We can do a shop tomorrow. No problem.” Alex grins as she kisses Sophie's mouth.

“I didn't have time to find a tenant this time. My Mum was just going to keep an eye on the place until someone came along.” She explains as Alex's kisses drift deliciously lower.

“Soph.” Alex lifts her head to catch her eye.

“Yeah?” She looks down at the brunette quizzically.

“I'm gonna need you to stop talking now. Unless you're screaming my name, of course.” Alex smirks salaciously as she buries her face between Sophie's thighs.

“Alex! Fuck!” Sophie shouts into the room as she reaches for a handful of brown hair to keep her doing that.

Alex raises her head with a sly smile. “That's more like it.” She dives back in for more.

True to their word, they spend the remainder of the day in between Sophie's sheets and enjoy losing count of how many times they make each other climax.

Flopping down on the mattress, sated and spent, they grin at each other like idiots.

“You hungry?” Alex looks over at Sophie with a lopsided smile.

“Kinda.” Sophie confesses.

“I don't mind going out to pick something up. I should probably swing by my place for some stuff. All I have are my scrubs.” Alex heads over to put them back on. “What do you want? Pizza? Chinese? Chippie?”

“Any of those.” Sophie smiles up at the brunette from her spot on the bed.

“Ok, I'll grab some clothes and whatever to do me until the end of the week when I'm back on shift.” Alex checks she has her phone and her wallet.

“You could pack for a bit longer.” Sophie suggests.

“Well how long did you have in mind?” She leans down to kiss Sophie goodbye.

“How about always?” Sophie's eyes dart back and forth between the brunette's to check she hasn't said the wrong thing.

“What?” Alex thinks she's picked her up wrongly.

“You could bring all of your things here and stay. Move in?” She asks hesitantly, afraid that she's pushing for too much, too soon.

“I don't know what to say.” Alex is completely flabbergasted.

“How about yes?” Sophie jokes, trying to lighten the mood. “I'd really love it if we could live together.” She casts her eye down to the bedding, sure that Alex was not in the same headspace as her. “Maybe it is a bit soon.” She backpedals furiously. “I don't know what I was thinking, you obviously need more time. I mean, of course you do, since I almost jetted off to Kiev today without you...” She was rambling now and she knew it but she couldn't stop, as the first sting of tears blurred her vision.

Alex sits down on the bed next to her and reaches for her nearest hand, covering it with one of hers. “I don't need time. I just need you.”

Sophie's head snaps up to look at the brunette. “Does that mean -”

The rest of her question is lost inside Alex's mouth as she kisses her senseless. “It means I'm moving in.” The brunette smiles widely as she sees Sophie's face light up with pure joy.

“I know all the things here are mine but we could have a clear out, buy some new ones together. There's not long left on the mortgage and we can put your name on everything. Or we could sell up and get a new home that's both of ours.” Sophie's mind runs through the endless possibilities, she’s as giddy as a schoolgirl.

“Woah. Slow down Soph. I can see the smoke rising out of the top of your head!” Alex laughs as she kisses her again.

“Sorry.” Sophie blushes. “I just want you with me.”

“Me too.” Alex smiles warmly. “How about I pick up some food, maybe a nice bottle of wine, grab enough stuff to do for now from my place and we can talk over all the options?”

“Sounds perfect.” Sophie pushes up to cover Alex's mouth with her own in a deep kiss.

“I'll be back soon.” Alex drops one final kiss to Sophie's lips and heads off to gather supplies.

Sophie sinks back on to the pillow underneath her head. Nothing could remove the silly grin from her lips. Only this morning she thought she'd be spending the next three years in Kiev with little to no hope of seeing Alex again, never mind being with her again. Now she was looking forward to living together, waking up to the brunette everyday for the rest of their lives. She runs her hand over Alex's side of the bed, imagining always having her there beside her and waits with a slow, easy smile for her to come back.

Alex dashes around frantically grabbing everything she needs when a thought strikes her. She changes into clean clothes, packs her bag in a rush and drives over to the local shopping centre. She could put a start to her plan if she found what she was looking for. It had to be perfect. The lady at the counter is very helpful, showing her countless options. She is just giving up and resigning herself to having to try somewhere else when she sees it.

“That one.” She points out the one she wants. Luckily it comes in Sophie's size and Alex can take it with her tonight. She thanks the saleswoman and pops the box into her inside coat pocket for safekeeping. She stops off at the off licence and buys a couple of bottles of Sophie's favourite wine and places their food order, which will be ready for her to pick up in 15 minutes. Jumping back into her car, she pats her jacket to check her purchase is still there, takes a sharp, steadying breath and starts the engine. She can't help smiling as she thinks of going home to Sophie. _Home_. She likes the sound of that.


	27. Chapter 27

“I come bearing gifts.” Alex extends the bags of food and wine when Sophie opens the door for her after her trip to the shops. Her sports bag full of clothes etc. is draped over one shoulder, and she'd even managed to bring Sophie's luggage from the boot, dragging it into the hallway as Sophie takes the bags from her.

Sophie quickly makes sure that the food and wine are securely tucked away on the hall table, and then she kisses her furiously. “God, I missed you.” She confesses as she crushes their lips together again, tugging the sports bag off of Alex's shoulders and moving on to her jacket.

“No!” Alex exclaims, suddenly remembering what was in her pocket. Sophie looks up questioningly at the brunette. “I mean, the food will be getting cold. We should eat.” She shucks her coat carefully and zips it safely into her sports bag out of sight and drapes an arm over Sophie’s shoulder as she leads them through to the kitchen, food and wine in her free hand.

“Is everything ok?” Sophie notices that Alex seems a bit jumpy and she keeps glancing back towards her bag.

“Huh? Oh yeah. Great. I went to that Chinese place by City Hall. You know, the one we had dinner at that time? I hope that's alright.” Alex lifts the food containers out of the bag and reaches out two plates from the cupboard to start dishing up.

“Smells delicious.” Sophie smiles, suddenly realising how hungry she was. “I'll open this.” She grabs one of the wine bottles and holds it up to highlight her point. “You want some?” She looks over at Alex as she uncorks it with a satisfying pop.

“Please.” Alex finishes serving up the food and takes the plates over to the dining table, before grabbing some cutlery and carrying the wineglasses over for Sophie, earning a grateful kiss from the other woman.

Sophie puts the bottle back in the fridge to keep it chilled and plonks herself down into the chair beside Alex with a warm smile. “So..?” She glances up at the brunette as she takes her first forkful of food and hums appreciatively at the taste.

“So...?” Alex repeats, with a little sideways look at her girlfriend.

“You wanna move in here? We could keep one or both of our places, rent them out and buy something new. Unless you're happy to sell up and stay here. Or sell both and use the money to buy something else.” Sophie gives as many options as she can think of.

“I like the idea of a new place that belongs to both of us. We can choose what to put in it together. It would be nice to have the home that the kids will grow up in be really ours.” Time was when those words would never have even occurred to Alex, would have terrified her most probably, now here she was saying them out loud without even blinking.

“Kids?” Sophie echoes, but there is no fear or uncertainty in her tone. She sounds slightly teasing and it's obvious that the idea makes her happy.

“Yeah. I like to think so.” Alex smiles at the pleased flush of Sophie's face. “Can't you picture us having kids?”

“I very much like the sound of that. How many will we have?” Sophie's eyes light up at the question.

“However many we can. At least two I suppose. So they have company.” Alex explains.

“You clearly have this all worked out.” Sophie chuckles as she leans over to kiss the brunette softly, leaning her forehead against Alex's.

“We'll have to get married first. My Mum won't hear of any grandchild of hers born out of wedlock.” Alex jokes, as she kisses her again.

“Mine neither.” Sophie beams as she imagines being Alex's wife, having babies with her. “I have to admit that all sounds perfect.”

“Only because I'll be doing it with you.” Alex says, a little cornily but utter sincere.

“You big softie.” Sophie nudges the brunette with her elbow.

“I mean it.” Alex turns serious. “You're amazing, Soph. I never could have imagined doing any of those things before I met you. Now I can't imagine my life without you.”

“I'm so in love with you. I don't want to spend another moment without you.” Sophie confesses.

“You won't.” Alex asserts. “I'll sell my place, we'll stay here until we find what we're looking for, and then we can rent this out or sell it too. We can start looking for our very own place to grow old together in straight away.”

“Yes please.” Sophie's voice is light and dreamy as she considers their future. “I don't mind selling this place as well, that way we'd have more money for the next house. We can go to the estate agents and put them on the market, start the ball rolling.”

Alicia seems pleased with that plan as they tuck into the rest of their dinner.

“Oh, my Mum called again while you were out. How's tomorrow night for dinner? I know it's short notice but it means the rest of the week is ours to do whatever we like.” Sophie tidies their plates and starts to run the water to wash up.

“Suits me. You wash, I'll dry.” Alex steps up beside her and they make light work of the task. “There.” Alex puts the last dish away and passes the tea towel to Sophie so she can dry her hands. “More wine? Fancy watching a movie?” Alex opens the fridge to grab the bottle.

She can't see the cheeky smirk that settles on Sophie's features as she twists up the tea towel and whips it gently across Alex's bum.

“Oi!” Alex looks faux affronted at the move and rounds on the other woman. “You are soooo gonna pay for that, Davis!”

Sophie holds her hands up in surrender as she backs away from the brunette. “Ok. Ok. I'm sorry.” She doesn't sound one bit sorry as she giggles and bites her lip, before dashing out of the kitchen. She gets as far as the living room door before Alex has her by the waist, lifting her as she squeals unconvincingly to be let go.

They tumble onto the sofa together, Alex on top and descending into fits of giggles as Alex tickles Sophie mercilessly.

“Alex, stop! I'm sorry, please!” Sophie gasps out between laughs and trying to wriggle away from the onslaught.

“You will be.” Alex's eyes flash with mischief as she redoubles her efforts.

Sophie can only think of one way to stop her and pulls Alex's face down to meet hers in a delicious kiss. She smiles into the contact when she feels Alex's hands move underneath her shirt for an entirely different kind of tickles. She has to break the kiss to cry out when the brunette's fingers close over her bare breast, tugging teasingly at her straining nipple.

“No bra, eh?” Alex's eyes are dark and hazy with lust as she continues to drive Sophie crazy with her touch.

“Alex, please.” Sophie breathlessly voices a plea that the brunette is only too happy to answer.

“Tell me.” Alex starts to unbutton the shirt with the hand not busy working Sophie up. “I need to hear you tell me what you want me to do to you.” She kisses along the newly exposed flesh of Sophie's sternum.

“I...you...uh...I don't know.” Sophie can't think with Alex doing this to her body.

“You'll have to do better than that.” Alex slides the shirt off of Sophie completely. “Or I just might stop.” She teases the groundless threat into the kisses she plants along Sophie's throat.

“No...” Sophie whines and looks up desperately at the brunette.

Alex surges forward again to capture Sophie's other nipple in her teeth and reaches down to unfasten her jeans.

“Oh yes!” Sophie arches into her, shoulders pressed almost painfully into the sofa cushions underneath her.

“Is this what you want?” Alex slides her hand inside the lacy underwear the other woman was wearing, fingers searching for her wetness.

Sophie nods frantically, unable to speak and biting down on her bottom lip to stifle a scream when Alex reaches her goal.

“Don't.” Alex warns, seeing what she’s trying to do. “I want to hear you.” She easily coaxes Sophie to be more vocal with deliberate strokes of her fingers.

“Fuck me! Oh, Alex. Please, fuck!” The final expletive is a broken sob as Alex tugs her jeans and underwear to her knees and plunges into her.

Alex grins as she kisses all over Sophie's torso and rolls her hips against her hand to thrust in and out of her girlfriend. “You are perfection.” She whispers into Sophie's ear and draws back to look at her as if she was the most amazing thing she'd ever since. “I love you, Sophie.” And she could see in her eyes that she means it. “Let me see you come for me.” Alex's hushed and throaty request is accompanied by the gentle brushing of her thumb against Sophie's clit and it is her undoing.

“I'm coming!” Sophie buries her face in the crook of Alex's shoulder as she jerks through her release. She comes back to the room breathing harshly against the skin of Alex's neck and shaking softly. “Uh.” She collapses back on to the sofa, glistening with sweat and torn between grinning like a fool and bursting into tears. “That was... Christ, Alex.”

“You look so beautiful.” Alex leans over to kiss her gently.

“I’m sure I really don't.” Sophie laughs at the thought of just what she must look like right now.

“Marry me?” Alex's heart asks the question that she just can't stop from coming out of her mouth.

“What?” Sophie lifts her head to check if she was serious.

“Marry me.” Alex says more firmly.

“Yes.” Sophie gives the only possible answer.

“Yes?” Alex parrots, stunned that she had agreed. It was hardly the most romantic setting. “Really?”

Sophie nods her head. “Unless you didn't mean to ask...” She suddenly feels cold and exposed lying half naked on the sofa. Pulling her pants and jeans back on and scrabbling for her shirt to cover up.

Alex stands up and walks through to the hall without saying a word, while Sophie stares after her, lips trembling and the threat of tears in her eyes. Alex had walked away from her after proposing to her. She sits up and starts to do up her shirt buttons, made more difficult by the shaking of her hands and the tears spilling over her lashes.

“I was planning to wait for a while...” Alex makes her jump as she comes back in holding something. “...I wanted to speak to your parents, ask their permission sort of thing. I guess I could have arranged something more romantic. But I came so close to losing you today and I don't want to live another moment without you. I want you to be my wife and to be yours. We'll have a whole football team of kids if you want. We'll wake up together every morning, go to sleep together every night. I want to grow old and wrinkly with you and I know I will spend everyday for the rest of my life falling even more in love with you. I bought a ring.” Alex opens the box in her hands and gets down on one knee. “I hope you like it. I hope it fits. I borrowed the one you wear on that finger on your other hand thinking it might be close enough. That's why I was gone so long tonight, I wanted to find the perfect one. If you want to take it back and choose one together that's fine.”

“Breathe, Alex.” Sophie smiles and cups her face in her hands to try to soothe her worries.

“Sorry.” Alex huffs out a breath to steady her nerves. “Will you marry me? Please?” She holds up the ring box to Sophie.

“Oh Alex!” She exclaims when she sees it. “It's beautiful.” She strokes her finger over the ring. The band was platinum with a raised square cut diamond in the centre and three smaller square diamonds set into the shoulders of the band on either side. She looks up from the ring to the woman offering it to her, eyes filled with tears and endless love. “Yes I'll marry you.” She laughs through a sob and pulls Alex in to kiss her.

“Yeah?” Alex still looks shocked by her answer.

“Of course I'll marry you. I love you so much.” Sophie kisses the dazed expression from Alex's face.

“I would still like to speak to your parents first. I know you said they're quite traditional, so I thought I should do the whole asking for your hand thing.” Alex looks determined.

Sophie had thought that she couldn't love the brunette any more but she was wrong. “That's so sweet and my Dad would love that. Lydia’s husband had done the same before he proposed.”

“I'm sorry the proposal wasn't all hearts and flowers and candles and romance. You deserve those things.” Alex is a little crestfallen.

“I don't care.” Sophie kisses her again. “I don't care about any of that. It was perfect. The ring is perfect. You are perfect. All that matters is that it was you asking and that I want to be your wife.”

Alex seems satisfied with that. “I love you. You just looked so beautiful in that moment and I couldn't stop myself from asking you.” She tucks a few errant strands of Sophie's hair behind her ear and kisses her softly.

“I love you too.” Sophie face lights up brighter than The Sun.

“Come on, I'll help you with your cases. I can head back to mine tomorrow and grab some more stuff. Might as well start moving in. I can call the estate agents and make an appointment too.” Alex slaps her thighs lightly with her palms and stands to get to work.

“Hey Alex?” Sophie stops her at the living room door.

“Yep?” She looks back at the other woman.

“Does this mean that I can call you my fiancée?” Sophie comes to stand beside her, threading her hand in the brunette's.

“I like the sound of that. But let's talk to your parents first and then maybe I could arrange a proper proposal. You know, one that we can actually tell other people about.” She flushes a little at her own less than perfect timing.

“Ok, but for the record I liked this one just fine.” Sophie squeezes her hand in reassurance.

They unpack a few of Sophie's essentials in comfortable silence and then brush their teeth side by side in the bathroom, exchanging playful little hip bumps and knowing smiles. They both strip to get ready for bed and Alex rummages in her sports bag for her usual vest top and sleep shorts combo.

“Uh uh.” Sophie shakes her head teasingly as she snatches the pyjamas from Alex's grasp and throws them somewhere behind her. “I don't think we'll be needing those, do you?” She tugs Alex with her as they stumble over to the bed.

Alex shakes her head to completely agree, with a small, almost predatory glint in her eyes, as she lets Sophie push her flat to the mattress and crawl slowly up her body until she reaches her mouth with her own. They both wear matching smiles as their lips meet for the first of many kisses that night.


	28. Chapter 28

“Oh my God!” Bernie makes Serena jump out of her skin with the cry as they lie in bed, clearly excited by whatever she sees on her phone.

“What is it?” Serena asks when she's sure that she's not having a cardiac episode.

“Alex is moving in with Sophie and look...” Bernie beams as she passes the phone to her fiancée.

Serena squeaks with delight when she sees Alex's photo of an engagement ring. “Did she propose?” She turns to the blonde with big, happy eyes, giving her back her phone.

“Not officially.” Bernie clarifies, reading her friend's text. “She's asking for Sophie's hand from her parents tonight, but Sophie's already said yes.”

“That's so romantic. I'm beyond happy for them! They seem so good for each other and they're such a lovely couple.” Serena snuggles into Bernie’s side. “Alex must be over the moon, I mean Sophie could have been in Ukraine by now...”

“I'm so pleased. Seeing Alex settle down finally and so clearly happy with Soph. They deserve some happiness.” Bernie smiles thinking of how much has changed for the better in the past few months. “Do we have to get up for work?” She pouts exaggeratedly when that particular thought spoils her mood a little.

“Afraid so...” Serena sighs. “But we can lounge about for the next two days after that. Maybe do some wedding prep. We haven't even picked a date yet.”

“Well, my house is almost sold and we can put some of that towards it. And more importantly, the honeymoon.” Bernie wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, making Serena laugh uncontrollably, as she covers them with the duvet for their first kiss of the day. Which turns into more than just a kiss...

“Oh bugger! We're late, Bernie. Hurry up!” Serena glances the time once they have their breath back.

“Worth it.” Bernie smiles and kisses the tip of her fiancée’s nose before sauntering into the ensuite, not a care in the world.

“I'll say.” Serena watches her naked form head into the shower with an appreciative quirk of her lips, before joining her. Save time and water, she thinks.

They part at their cars in the driveway with a quick kiss and are just about on time for their shifts.

B: Roll on 6pm! X

Serena smiles when she receives Bernie's text later.

S: I'll be home by 7pm x

B: 2 days of repeat performances of our wake up call this morning... ;-)

S: And our shower antics! ;-)

That leaves them with unshakable smiles for the remainder of their shifts.

Alex pulls up to Sophie's parent's house at the agreed time. She's been back at her apartment loading her boot with things to move into Sophie's, or their she supposes now, house. She’d arranged to meet Sophie there before dinner. She'd not tell Sophie that she'd changed her outfit four times before settling on what she was currently wearing. Or that she had nervously pulled the ring out of her pocket countless times to check that she'd remembered to bring it. She wasn't sure if she was meant to show it to them or not, but had brought it just in case.

“Ready?” Sophie pulls her out of the car and up to the door.

“Not really.” She admits, fidgeting anxiously with the collar of her shirt. Who sucked all of the oxygen out of the atmosphere? She wonders briefly as she tries to draw a breath.

“My Mum already loves you, so you're halfway there.” Sophie winks at her encouragingly and straightens her collar for her before ringing the bell.

“Oh shit! The presents...” Alex rushes back to the car after leaving Sophie's Dad staring after her. She berates herself as she lifts them out of the boot. Nice one Alex, you just swore in your potential father-in-law’s face. Not the greatest start. She slumps back up to the door and smiles sheepishly at the man. “Nice to see you again, Mr Davis.” She mumbles as she hands over the gift bag with the whiskey she knew from Sophie that he liked inside.

“Dr Dawson.” The man nods sharply in thanks as he inspects the bottle.

“Alex is fine, sir.” She extends her hand in front of her and ushers Sophie in first, once her Dad steps aside to let them in. Sophie leans up on her tiptoes to kiss her father's cheek and hug him tightly. Alex slinks passed him silently praying that her quota for humiliating herself had been reached for the evening.

“Is that my Soph?!” Lynn shouts out to them from the kitchen and Sophie grabs Alex's hand to head in to greet her.

“Hi Mum!” Sophie drags Alex along behind her in to the room. She lets go of Alex and hugs and kisses her Mum warmly.

“Ah now, Alex! It's lovely to see you.” Lynn beams when the brunette passes her the bouquet she'd brought her. “Thank you. They're gorgeous.” She pulls a vase from a nearby cupboard and arranges the flowers in some water. Once she takes them through to the dining room to place in the middle of the table, she comes back in to pull Alex into an unexpected embrace. “Thank you for bringing her home to us.” She whispers into Alex's ear as the brunette nods her understanding.

“I would like to...I hope it would be alright if I...” Alex falls over her words. “If I could maybe have a quick word with yourself, Mrs Davis, and Mr Davis when you are free, I'd very much like to speak to you both.” Alex stammers out her request. “Please.” She adds with a wan smile.

“Enough of that. It's Lynn for goodness sake. Shall we have dinner first?” Sophie's Mum smiles at the couple. She had an inking what Alex might want to discuss and she was overjoyed.

“Can I do anything to help? With dinner, I mean.” Alex offers kindly.

“Nonsense. You're our guest. You pair go and make yourselves comfy somewhere. Dinner will only be 20 minutes. Can I get you a drink?” Lynn shoos them out from under her feet once she's fixed their drinks.

Alex lets Sophie talk her through all of the photos of them all scattered around the place and can't contain her smile at seeing Sophie's baby pictures from the album Lynn passes to her with a knowing smile.

“You were so cute!” Alex whispers as she glances over at Sophie and tries not to catch Mr Davis’ eye too much. He seemed to be scowling at her and she was getting uncomfortable.

“Right, dinner’s up!” Lynn announces with a clap of her hands and shows them into the dining room.

“This all looks fantastic, Mrs Davis. Thank you.” Alex smiles at Sophie's Mum.

“Lynn, remember? And you're very welcome. You're the first of Sophie's girlfriends that she's ever brought home and I like to make a fuss. Next time, we'll invite the whole clan. I know they're excited to meet you.” Lynn passes round the serving dishes.

“That would be nice.” Alex agrees easily.

“And your mother seemed lovely that day at the pub, we'll have to meet your family properly too.” Lynn suggests. “She must be pleased that you and Soph are back together.”

“Yes ma'am. We're going to call in on her soon, we haven't had the chance to tell her in person yet. I know she would love to meet you all too.” Alex attacks her food with gusto. “This is delicious!” She smiles over at the chef.

“So, Soph. What happens to your job now that you're not going to Kiev?” Sophie's Dad looks up from his dinner to give his daughter his full attention.

“I'm not sure yet. I'll have to meet with our CEO and find out if I can come back to work. If not, there are other hospitals.” She explains.

“So, Dr Dawson. You're an anaesthetist, yes?” He focuses on Alex now.

“Yes, sir. Please call me Alex, I feel like my Dad every time someone calls me Dr Dawson.” She chuckles.

“Your father is a doctor too?”

“He was. He's retired now, he was a GP for 35 years.” Alex explains. “I was the only one crazy enough to follow him to med school. First born syndrome I guess. My Mum was a teacher and my siblings all did their own things.”

“You’re the oldest then? Never been married or anything before?” He seemed interested rather than judgemental but Alex flushes all the same.

“No, sir. I guess I just hadn't met the right woman before...” She chances a soft look at Sophie.

“Dad, Alex and I are basically the same age and I've not been with anyone that serious before her either. It's not a big deal.” Sophie senses the brunette’s discomfort. “You and Mum didn't even meet till you were what, almost 30?”

“Don't bombard the poor woman with pointless questions, Phil. She and Sophie are happy together, it doesn't matter how old they are or how many serious girlfriends they've had before. If I remember rightly, you were seeing that God awful Marcia Simons when we met. Just imagine being stuck with her now. Once you find your one, that's it.” Lynn smiles supportively at the couple.

“I'm just trying to get to know young Alex here. If she's that important to Sophie, I want to make sure she's serious about her, that's all. Doesn't matter if she's 41 or 21, she's our baby and I'm not about to let anyone break her heart.” Mr Davis explains.

“I have no intention of ever hurting Sophie, sir. I would never let anyone or anything harm her while I'm around to prevent it. She makes me unbelievably happy and I will do everything in my power to do the same for her. She's much too good for me, far better than I deserve, but I know how lucky I am that she chooses to be with me and I won't ever take that for granted.” Alex's impassioned speech brings tears to Sophie and Lynn's eyes.

Mr Davis nods what appears to be approval after he takes in Alex's words.

The rest of the dinner passes in comfortable small talk, until all of their plates are cleared and everyone leans back slightly in their seats, bellies full and sighing in satisfaction.

“That all really was delicious Mrs...I mean Lynn.” Alex sees Sophie Mum's eyebrow raise and quickly uses her first name. “Thank you. Once I've settled in at Sophie's, we'll have to return the favour.” Alex extends the invitation unthinkingly.

“Oh, have you two moved in together?” Lynn looks between the women with an excited grin.

“Fuck, sorry.” Alex covers her face with her hand as she whispers her apology to Sophie. Now that dinner was over, her nerves had kicked in again about her impending conversation with Sophie's parents.

Sophie grabs for Alex's hand and gently removes it from her face. “It's alright.” She smiles reassuringly at the brunette as Alex turns to her with a contrite look. “Yes, we decided that after the whole Kiev thing, we wanted to take the next step in our relationship.” She explains with a pleased smile tugging at her lips.

“That's great news!” Lynn exclaims and looks to her husband. “Don't you think, Phil?”

Alex swallows thickly, waiting for his reaction, knowing that he was the one of the two she'd have to try harder to impress.

“It's a bit sudden. You’ve only known each other for a few months.” Mr Davis observes.

Oh crap. Alex's heart plummets inside her chest. If he thought that about living together, he'd probably be less than thrilled about getting engaged. She looks over at Sophie disheartened, but sees only gritty determination in her girlfriend's expression.

“I was in a relationship with Bernie for two and a half years but I always knew that I never wanted to live with her, that it would never be serious. The amount of time is irrelevant, I know my own feelings and a few months or a few years won't change anything. I love Alex and we are moving in together. I had hoped you could be happy for us, Dad.” Sophie fixes her father with a challenging stare.

“It's not a question of not being happy for you. I just don't want you to rush into this.” Her father reasons. “Until recently we'd never heard tell of Alex, we don't know her.”

“Mr Davis, sir I -” Alex starts to try to reassure the man of her intentions, but Sophie placed a hand over her chest to stop her.

“Alex doesn't owe you any explanations. I know her. I love her. And she loves me too. We're getting married and...” Sophie trails off as she realises it's her turn to unintentionally let the cat out of the bag. She glances apologetically over to the brunette and then becomes fascinated by the tablecloth.

“Married!” Lynn repeats ecstatic and looks between her daughter and her girlfriend.

“Yes ma'am.” Alex takes the ring box out of her pocket, opens the lid and places in down on the table for everyone to see. She reaches for Sophie's hand and gives it a supportive squeeze as they wait for her parent's reaction. When none is forthcoming she adds. “That's what I wanted to discuss with you both. I was planning to seek your permission, I thought it was only right to ask for Sophie's hand from her parents.”

“That's very thoughtful of you, Alex. We appreciate the gesture.” Lynn smiles softly at the other woman as she stands from her seat. “I approve and I'm only too happy to give you both my blessing.” She pulls each of them up in turn for a fierce hug. “Phil?” She tilts her head at the couple, encouraging her husband to reiterate the sentiment with wide eyes and a telling stare.

“Well, if you're sure this is what you want...” Mr Davis looks to his daughter.

“It is.” Sophie asserts immediately, never more sure of anything in her life.

“Then as long as you're happy, so am I.” He rounds to their side of the table and hugs his daughter and warmly shakes Alex's hand.

“Thank you, sir. I promise I will take the best possible care of her.” Alex enthusiastically returns the handshake.

Sophie barely waits for them to let go before she launches herself into Alex's arms and kisses her deeply.

“I guess you can try it on now.” Alex smiles out of the kiss and nods down at the ring.

Sophie holds out her hand and watches awestruck as the brunette slips the ring out of the box and slides it on to her finger. She wriggles her fingers slightly, entranced by the way the light catches in the stones. “I love you.” She moves her eyes up from the ring to stare deep into Alex's as she reaches out to caress the brunette’s cheek softly.

Alex closes her eyes at the touch and turns her head towards Sophie's palm to kiss it tenderly. “I love you too.”

Nothing could make them tear their eyes away from the other and there was no way to remove the bright grin from either face.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for your patience! Fingers crossed that the next chapter shouldn't be long in coming, I kinda have it planned already... Hope you enjoy. :-)

“I like this one.” Serena whispers to her fiancée as they are shown around the elegant and intimate reception venue. They had spent most of their day off fixing a date and location for the small wedding they wanted.

They were getting married in 6 month's time at City Hall and were now considering where to hold the rest of the day.

  
“Me too.” Bernie smiles at the woman beside her as they walk hand in hand through the cosy hotel on the outskirts of Holby. They could offer everything they asked for, without being too over the top, and had lovely rooms for any guests travelling from a bit farther away and a gorgeous bridal suite for the happy couple. “Shall we book it if they have the date free?” The blonde stops their progress to look deep into Serena's eyes. She would do anything to make their day perfect for the brunette.

  
“Yes, I think we should.” Serena happily agrees.

  
Luckily their date is available and they leave a deposit to hold the venue and take all the information away to decide what they want in terms of food etc.

  
“Since we're already here, why don't we stay for a bite to eat? Check out the food.” Bernie suggests, swinging their joint hands playfully as they head towards the restaurant.

  
“Sounds like a plan.” Serena lets the blonde lead them in and ask for a table.

  
They settle in with a glass of Shiraz each and peruse the menu as they chat contentedly.

  
“I can't believe that in 6 months you'll be my wife.” Bernie grins at the brunette sitting opposite her.

  
“I know. It doesn't seem real, I can't wait.” Serena beams in return and then reaches into her bag as her phone beeps. Her face drops when she sees whatever is on the screen.

  
“What?” Bernie sees the change in the brunette's expression. “It's not work calling you in, is it?”

  
Serena shakes her head in response. “It's Helen.” She slides her phone over the table top to show Bernie the text message.

  
H: I still love you. And I know you feel the same. Dump her and come back to me.

  
“Oh.” Bernie can't think of anything else to say. She looks as if someone has slapped her in the face.

  
“It doesn't mean anything. I'm not going to choose her, she's wasting her time. I should have blocked her number when the first one came through.” Serena purposefully taps the ‘block contact’ button on her phone. “There. No more.” She glances up from her phone to see Bernie still looking pale and upset.

  
“The first one?” She catches Serena's eye, the sinking feeling in her stomach makes her slightly queasy. “She's been contacting you all this time and you didn't tell me or put a stop to it...”

  
“I just thought she would get bored and leave me alone if I ignored her.” Serena admits.

  
“Why didn't you say anything?” Bernie challenges her again.

  
“Maybe I should have mentioned it. It just didn't seem to be important. She knows I'm where I want to be. With you. I thought answering her would just stoke the fire, so I never reply.” Serena tries to explain. “Please don't read into this, I'm not interested in her.”

  
“Let's just eat.” Bernie flicks her napkin on to her knee and smiles up at the waiter as he brings their plates to the table. Serena can tell by the stiffness of her shoulders and how she doesn't quite meet her eye, as they mumble small talk at each other through periods of awkward silence, that the blonde is stewing.

  
“Shall we order dessert?” Serena hazards when they finish their main courses. She notes that Bernie hadn't eaten most of hers, just shuffled a lot of it around with her fork.

  
“I'd rather not. You should go on home and I'll pay for this.” Bernie fishes her wallet out of her pocket and asks for the bill.

  
“Aren't you coming?” Serena panics that Bernie is sending her home alone.

  
“In a while. I just -” Bernie starts to say.

  
“Bernie, please.” Serena starts to protest.

  
“Just give me some space!” The blonde snaps uncharacteristically and leaves Serena speechless. “Go home, Serena.”

  
Serena can only nod her acceptance and moves to kiss Bernie on her way out. It stings when the blonde turns her head and the kiss lands on her cheek instead. Serena straightens up and slowly walks to her car to go home.

  
Serena paces all over the house that night waiting for Bernie to come back. She can only imagine where she might be or what she's doing. She had asked for space so she can't even phone or text her to check that she's alright. She prepares for bed, expecting to spend the night alone for the first time since Bernie moved in. Where Bernie would stay she has no idea. Maybe with Alex...

  
She is broken out of her train of thought by the sound of someone opening and closing the front door and coming up the hallway to walk upstairs. Serena sits against the headboard where she has been pretending to read her book as she watches Bernie come into the bedroom, lingering in the doorway.

  
“I need to know if she's who you really want.” Bernie can't look at her, waiting for what she expects the answer to be.

  
“Bernie, no.” Serena slides out from under the duvet and rushes over to her fiancée. “She contacted me, I never once responded. I should have blocked her sooner. I didn't mean for it to hurt you. I want you. You must know that. I’ve never given her so much as a second thought since we've been together.”

  
“Are you sure? You were with her for 15 years, and you and I will have only been together little more than a year when we get married.” Bernie asks, her heart breaking thinking of how there might not be a wedding now.

  
“I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Nothing she or anybody else does or says changes that.” Serena pulls her by the hand and moves them both to sit on the bed. “You're the only one I want.” She whispers to the blonde as she rests her forehead against the blonde’s temple.

  
“I've never been this jealous before. It's hard to think clearly. I hate the thought of you and her. I'm sorry.” Bernie struggles to articulate how overwhelming her jealousy is when she considers that Serena might still have feelings for her ex. She'd never experienced anything like it before.

  
“There is no me and her. We were over long before I met you. You don't need to be jealous.” Serena tries to reassure the blonde. “I'm sorry for not telling you, I just didn't want to make it into more than it was.” She sweeps the blonde’s untameable fridge out of the way so that she can look at her, hoping she can see the endless, unconditional love shining in her eyes.

  
“I just...I'm...” Bernie struggles to get the words out and huffs in frustration, shaking her head.

  
“What is it?” Serena cradles the blonde’s face in her hands and holds her gaze. “Talk to me.” She urges.

  
“I am so happy with you. You make me so happy, Serena. I never knew it was even possible to be this happy. I want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me. If I don't make you happy -” Bernie tries to contain the tears threatening to fall.

  
“You do. Unbelievably so.” Serena reassures her with a dazzling smile.

  
“You could have anyone you want.” Bernie acknowledges sadly.

  
“I want you.” Serena is vehement. “Not Helen, not anyone else. I love you Berenice Wolfe and we're getting married. I want to be your wife and she is not going to come between us.”

  
“What if I'm not enough? I want you to have everything you deserve. I want to be the one to give you the world. But I don't...what if I can't...” Bernie chokes on the idea that she is not good enough for the brunette.

  
“Listen to me.” Serena pulls back to lock eyes with her fiancée. “You are everything I could ever want, with you I feel more loved than I ever imagined anyone could love me. You are my best friend, the love of my life. I’m not just passing time with you until a better offer comes along. There is no one better for me than you. Trust me, this is it. You are the only one for me.” Serena leans in to brush her lips against Bernie's in what she hopes is a calming and reassuring way. “I love you.” She says it with such conviction that Bernie has no choice but to believe her.

  
“I am so in love with you, Serena.” The blonde rests their temples together as she holds Serena to her tightly.

  
“I feel the same way. Please don't ever doubt that.” Serena clings just as fiercely to Bernie.

  
“I'm sorry.” Bernie moves back to look into the brunette eyes.

  
“Come to bed.” Serena strokes softly at Bernie's face with a small, adoring smile on her lips. The blonde nods in agreement and heads to the ensuite to get ready.

  
The door is left slightly ajar, just enough for Serena to watch her as she goes about her nightly routine and the sight makes the brunette’s heart swell and she can't help but smile. She had seen her carry out these actions so many times before, but Serena would never tire of the sight. Bernie's gorgeous body revealed as she slips out of her clothes, the expanse of pale, glowing skin slowly disappearing as she pulls on her pyjamas. How her face would look even more beautiful freshly scrubbed of the little makeup she bothered to wear. The cascades of soft curls falling to frame her striking features and partially hide her dark, piercing eyes as she freed them from the miniscule ponytail that Serena wasn't even sure how she tied up. Serena's mind starts to imagine the countless times she had run that messy mane through her hands, how she would grip it firmly as the blonde pressed her mouth against her centre and brought her to heights she hadn't even known existed before. But not just that. She thought of how wild those waves of golden sunshine would look tousled on the pillow after a night's sleep and how Bernie's drowsy smile was the best thing to see first every morning. She couldn't be without her now that she had been given the chance to love her.

  
“What?” Bernie can practically feel the other woman’s eyes on her.

  
“You are so beautiful and I am hopelessly in love with you.” Serena beckons for the blonde to join her in the bed.

  
Bernie grins like a fool and all but runs to her side of the mattress jumping in enthusiastically.

  
“It's almost a shame to have to relieve you of these pyjamas that you so painstakingly _just_ put on.” Serena catches the blonde's eye, a hungry, mischievous glint in her own. “Almost.” She raises an eyebrow and whips the offending articles off in record time.

  
“Time to reinstate the no pyjamas rule anyway.” Bernie helps to return the favour, sucking in a sharp gasp as Serena's fingers close around one breast, as her hot mouth encases the other nipple. “Why did we ever stop?” Her heads spins as the brunette nips and teases at her chest.

  
“Now is not the time for questions, let's put that mouth of yours to better use, shall we?” Serena smirks at Bernie's desperate moan as she slinks back up from her chest to offer her a searing kiss.

  
“Absolutely.” Bernie responds breathlessly. “Serena...” The blonde loses her breath completely when her fiancée’s hand reaches between her legs and dexterous fingers begin stroking her perfectly. “God, that feels good.”

  
“You like that?” Serena asks already knowing full well that the answer is yes.

  
All of Bernie's words turn into a keening whine as she nods vigorously.

  
“Use your words, my love. Tell me how you feel.” Serena's breath is hot and tingling in the blonde's ear, making Bernie groan as she searches frantically in the recesses of her consciousness for the ability to form coherent syllables.

  
“I....” Bernie flounders, does she even know any words? Right at this moment she couldn't be sure. “Serena...” The name is somewhere between a plea for help and a strangled outcry of pleasure. “Please...”

  
“Please what, Bernie?” Serena encourages, fascinated by the tiny, aroused noises forcing their way out of the blonde, the wet heat around her fingers.

  
“I...can't...I...have...to...cum...” Bernie barely manages to choke out the words, she is a spluttering, babbling mess at this point.

  
“Good girl. That's my favourite part. Let me hear you cum. Let me see you lose control for me. Please, Bernie.” Serena increases her pace and pressure and it all becomes too much for the other woman.

  
“Serena, fuck! I'm fuck...I'm...” Bernie goes rigid as she climaxes hard, back arched and riding the brunette’s hand. “Jesus!” She sinks back into the sheet underneath her, her body feels like liquid and yet somehow everything aches in the best way.

  
Serena smiles that wide, happy smile that Bernie totally adores as she comes back into focus, faces almost touching as they stare into each other's eyes. “I love you.”

  
“And I love you.” Bernie replies as she rolls to pin Serena down, settling on top of her. “Now, what's this about putting my mouth to good use?” Bernie's lips curl to show the faintest hint of a playful smirk. She kisses away Serena's answer and moves her mouth teasingly over the brunette’s front, reaching down and down until she's almost there...

  
“Don't stop!” Serena's eyes snap open when she no longer feels warm lips on her skin. “No teasing.” She strokes her fingers through blonde locks, gently coaxing Bernie to continue her path.

  
“I wouldn't dream of it.” Bernie looks up once, eyes full of soft longing and adoration, before picking up where she left off.

  
Serena hums her content, followed by a loud moan as the blonde takes her first taste of the woman beneath her.

  
It was going to be quite a night...


	30. Chapter 30

**3 weeks later**

  
Sophie was starting back at St James’ today, Mr Greyson had been sympathetic to her situation but had insisted they wait for the locum's one month commitment to be fulfilled first. Alex had moved her things in to the house and put her flat up for sale and they were just waiting for interest to pick up.

The past few weeks living with her fiancée had been amazing and Sophie couldn't stop smiling as she looked down at the engagement ring on her hand. Alex had bought her a delicate chain to wear it around her neck when she was working, but Sophie just loved seeing it there on her finger. She grinned even wider when her phone buzzed with a text from the woman in question.

  
A: Thinking of you on your first day. I'm in & out of theatre all day, but let's have drinks later with Bern & Serena at Albies to celebrate. Maybe grab dinner out too, just me & you? I love you xx

  
Sophie fired off a quick reply as she headed to the CEO's office to get briefed and complete all the paperwork.

  
S: Sounds like a plan. I'll see you there at say 6.30pm? I love you too xx

  
A: Sure thing beautiful! X

  
Sophie beams as she slips her phone back into her bag and calls the lift to take her up to Mr Greyson's office.

  
“Hey Al. Sophie's first day back then?” Bernie sees the brunette smiling into her phone screen and knew she could only be texting one person.

  
“Yeah I said we'd go for drinks with you two later. She's meeting us there. How's the wedding plans coming along?” Alex sets her phone inside her locker and turns to her friend.

  
“All good. Date set and most things chosen. I wanted to ask you actually if you'd be my best man type thing.” Bernie asked shyly.

  
“Try and stop me!” Alex exclaims and draws her best friend in for a warm hug.

  
“Good. Great.” Bernie returns the embrace. “It's a small wedding so not too much pressure on you to do much. Just wear a suit and maybe say a few _kind_ words.” The blonde teases.

  
“Hey!” Alex looks mock offended. “I'm charming. Everyone loves me. I'll have them all eating out of my hand with my speech. You just watch.” She winks at her friend.

  
“Thanks Al. You know, apart from Serena, you're my very best friend.” Bernie admits.

  
“And you're mine, Bern. I'm so happy for you guys. 6 months, eh? Not long to wait.” Alex nudges the blonde's shoulder.

  
“I know. It's fantastic. To think 6 months ago I didn't even know Serena... I really love her.” Bernie's whole face lights up when she says the woman’s name. “What about you? Never thought I'd live to see the day Alex Dawson gets married!”

  
“Oh Bern, it's been unbelievable living with Soph. I'm a goner.” Alex grins and blushes a little at her own mushiness. “We haven't settled on a date yet, but definitely some time next year I'll be a married woman. We've even talked about kids.” The thought fills her with unprecedented joy.

  
“You are going to be a brilliant wife and Mum. You're perfect for each other. I’m thrilled for you both.” Bernie means every word.

  
“Any more bother from that ex of Serena's?” Alex cautiously asked.

  
“Not since she blocked her, no. I hope that's the end of it.” The blonde looks a bit unsure.

  
“Serena loves you. It's obvious. You both have matching gooey expressions all the time. It would be sickening if I wasn't the same way with Sophie.” Alex smiles and Bernie chuckles her agreement that her friend was smitten.

  
“Come on. I think I hear the dreaded  
red phone. Let's get some work done.” Bernie rushes out to take the call.

“Ms Hughes, you're with me on this one.” She pulls the younger woman away from ward rounds. “You ok to work with her?” Bernie whispers to the brunette.

  
“Yeah. She's been all quiet since you dragged her up to HR. And I can be professional if she will.” Alex nods politely at the registrar.

  
“You can still make a formal complaint you know? I saw the whole thing... I'd back you up.” Bernie promises.

  
“Nah. It's cool. No need to ruin a career over a few unwanted advances. She's just a kid with a bit of a crush, no biggie.” Alex and Bernie don't realise that Amy has overheard them and narrows her eyes at their backs.

  
“Right, Ms Wolfe. What do we have?” She sidles up to the sinks to scrub in. “Excuse me, Dr. Dawson.” She brushes past Alex much closer than necessary and surreptitiously pinches her bum, making Alex jump. “Apologies. Not much space to move around in here.”

  
“No problem.” Alex moves further away, flushing furiously and pushing through the door to the operating table.

  
“Are we going to start this again, Ms Hughes?” Bernie sees the younger doctor's game and her temper flares.

  
“Absolutely not, Ms Wolfe. Complete accident.” Amy gives her a ‘butter wouldn't melt' smile.

  
Bernie glares at her a moment longer before heading in to theatre.

  
“I'll show you who's a kid with a crush...” Amy snarls undetected and follows them in.

  
Once the procedure is complete and the patient is stable, Bernie sends Alex off to her office to fill in the notes and pulls Amy aside.

  
“You need to stop this.” Bernie warns.

  
“Stop what, Ms Wolfe?” The registrar feigns ignorance.

  
“Leave Dr. Dawson alone. She isn't interested. She's happily engaged and you have a promising career ahead of you.” Bernie folds her arms and studies the other woman.

  
“Fine. Yes. You're right. Of course. I'll go and apologise now.” Amy heads off to the office and Bernie's attention is taken by a nurse needing her.

  
“Ms. Hughes.” Alex barely looks up from the chart to acknowledge the other doctor. “What can I do for you?”

  
“I think you know exactly what I want.” Amy plonks herself down on top of the paperwork. “Why are you pretending you don't want it too? You and I could be good together. Think of how _hot_ the sex would be.” Amy slides her finger up the length of the brunette’s bare arm in her scrub top.

  
“Amy. Stop this! I thought we were past all this nonsense.” Alex pulls away instantly and stands to leave.

  
“I hear congratulations are in order. You got engaged. We should celebrate.” She tries to link her arms around the brunette’s neck but Alex shrugs her off.

  
“No! You're not listening. I love my fiancée. Nothing will ever happened here.” Alex points between them. “Leave me be.” She walks out and leaves Amy smirking after her.

  
In her rush Alex had left her phone on the desk and it just so happened that she never used a lock code. Amy picks it up and quickly sends a text to Ms. Davies before deleting it from the device.

  
A: Hey. Meet me at the locker room on the ground floor when you're free.

  
Sophie sees the message and smiles as she replies.

  
S: Ok. Give me an hour. X

  
Amy grins at the response and heads back out to the ward, knowing that Alex would be still in theatre then and she and Ms. Davies could have a nice, _long_ , uninterrupted chat.

  
Sophie was mostly office bound until the locum left at the end of the week and as an extra pair of hands if needed. She was able to head down to the locker room pretty much on time to see who she thought would be her fiancée.

  
“Alex? You in here?” She can't see anyone inside when she gets there.

  
“Actually, I texted you Ms. Davies.” Amy moves out from the corner of the room, so the other woman can see her.

  
“Oh. I don't understand. How -" Sophie is initially confused and a little on edge.

  
“I didn't think you'd come otherwise. I need to tell you something. It doesn't feel right keeping it from you. Especially now that you're engaged.” Amy thinks she's putting in one hell of a performance.

  
“What are you talking about?” Sophie's voice fails her, coming out as barely more than an emotional croak.

  
“Alex and I...we've been sleeping together. She wasn't going to tell you but I couldn't go along with that anymore. You deserve to know. I'm sorry.” Amy lets her words settle and then leaves satisfied with her work.

  
Sophie grasps desperately at the wall behind her, she can't hold herself up and is struggling to breathe through the agony. She somehow makes her way over to the bench and slumps down, stunned and heartbroken.

  
“Soph? What is it?” Bernie comes back to change after surgery and finds her hunched over and obviously crying.

  
“Did you know?” Sophie looks up at the blonde, eyes full of tears.

  
“Know what?” Bernie comes to sit beside her.

  
“Alex is fucking Amy Hughes! Did you know and keep it from me?!” Sophie stares at her accusingly.

  
“What? No. You've got it wrong. Wherever you heard that, it's not true.” Bernie knows she's been misinformed.

  
“Oh really? Because I’ve had an enlightening chat with Amy and she just came out with it.” Sophie thinks the blonde is lying, protecting her friend.

  
“No. Sophie, listen to me. Alex adores you. She didn't do this.” Bernie tries to get through to her.

  
“Hey, Bern. You need me for that... Sophie. What’s happened?” Alex rushes over to her fiancée and kneels to comfort her.

  
“How long?” Sophie meets the brunette’s concerned gaze and slaps her square in the face.

  
Alex recoils in shock more than pain, rubbing her cheek against the sting. “Jesus, Soph. What the hell was that for? How long...?” Alex has no idea what's going on.

  
“You and Amy Hughes. How long, Alex?” Sophie wants an answer.

  
“How long what? I don't know what this is about.” Alex remains clueless. “Is this because she tried to hit on me?”

  
“You're shagging her! She just told me!” Sophie screams at the other woman.

  
“What?! Oh no, no, no, no. I am not having an affair with Amy Hughes. She's nuts. She's obviously lying.” Alex protests.

  
“Why would she do that?” Sophie challenges.

  
“Oh so she's telling the truth and I'm lying?! I don't know. Maybe she's jealous because I keep saying no.” Alex can't understand why anyone would do that.

  
“It's true, Soph. I've seen Alex turn her down.” Bernie provides.

  
“And so have you. The night of your leaving drinks.” Alex adds.

  
“She's been pulled in by me to HR already, she was at it again this morning.” Bernie explains.

  
“Then she wouldn't risk it again if it wasn't true.” Sophie pushes past the brunette to leave.

  
“No. Soph. Wait. I didn't do this. Tell me you know that.” Alex grabs on to her, pleading to be believed.

  
“You are Alex “fuck ‘em and dump ‘em” Dawson, right?” Sophie looks to Bernie for confirmation, she remembers the blonde telling her all about her friend's exploits once. “Why would I be any different?” The tears are pouring from her eyes now.

  
“I'll admit, I used to be. I've never hidden that from you.” Alex looks slightly ashamed of her past behaviour. “But there's only you, Sophie. Since our first time at the gala, I haven't been with anyone else.”

  
“I...I have to go. I want you out of my house. I'll stay with my parents until you've sorted yourself out but I want you gone as soon as possible.” Sophie voice is cold and doesn't sound anything like Alex her ever heard it.

  
“No. Sophie. Please. It's not true! I love you. We're getting married.” She is crying now too.

  
“Not anymore.” Sophie takes her engagement ring off and gives it back to Alex, who just looks at it there in her palm, completely speechless.

  
She suddenly moves when she realises Sophie is leaving and she tries to hold on to her. “Look at me. Sophie, just please look at me.” Alex frames the other woman’s face with her hands. “I didn't...I couldn't...I would never...” Alex chokes out a sob. “There's no one else.”

  
“Save it for the next Amy Hughes, Alex. I'm not some stupid girl who can't see past all the charm and the bravado and the bullshit!!” Sophie pushes the brunette off of her and stalks away.

  
“Sophie!!” Alex isn't too proud to chase after the woman she loves unconditionally. “Hear me out. I don't know why, but she is lying!!”

  
“Don't come near me again!” Sophie has the final say as the lift door starts to close on the brunette. “Don't!” She stops Alex from stepping on with her.

  
“Not just some kid with a crush now, am I?” Amy surveys her handiwork rather pleased with herself.

  
“You crazy bitch! Why would you do this to me?!” Alex flies at the girl but Bernie holds her at bay. “What the fuck did I ever do to you?” Alex struggles against the blonde's grip. “Just tell me why!!”

  
“Because I could. Because it was fun, I've enjoyed watching how easily she walked away. You needed to learn that _no one_ says no to me, Dr. Dawson. We'll consider this a lesson well learned.” With that she all but skips away, leaving Alex and Bernie to stare open mouthed after her.

  
“She's insane.” Alex observes.

  
“I'll talk to HR and Greyson again. She's gone.” Bernie assures her friend.

  
“The damage is done.” Alex opens her hand to reveal the discarded ring. “I guess this is my karma, huh? For what I did with you and Sian.”

  
“Hey, no. You apologised for that. You helped fix it. Thanks to you, I have Serena back.” Bernie hugs the brunette to her.

  
“I can't see Amy coming clean and patching this up for me, Bern.” Alex admits sadly.

  
“We'll think of something. Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" Bernie offers.

  
“I'd better clear out my things from Sophie's...” Alex crumbles then and Bernie helps guide her to somewhere to sit.

  
“Easy, Al.” Bernie's worry for her friend is etched into her features.

  
“I think I need a drink.” Alex has her head in her hands.

  
“Alex, no. You can get past this.” Bernie squeezes her shoulder.

  
“I'll see you.” Alex stands unsteadily and heads for the locker room to change.

  
True to her word, Sophie is at her parent's house when Alex turns up later. Utterly pissed.

  
“Sophie. Hey, Sophie. I know you're here. You told me, remember?” Alex bangs loudly on the door.

  
“Alex please go away!” Sophie’s Mum hisses as she answers the brunette’s knocking. “Sophie doesn't want to see you.”

  
“I just need a few minutes. She needs to know I didn't cheat on her. I didn't cheat, you hear me Sophie? I DIDN'T CHEAT!!” Alex bellows through the open door. “Just ask her to come talk to me Mrs. Davies. Please.”

  
“No. Sophie's my priority. Please leave.” Lynn stays firm.

  
“Alex?” The brunette spins to see Bernie and Maggie.

  
“Mum.” Alex breaks down into violent sobs.

  
“Alex, honey. Mrs. Davies called when you wouldn't stop banging on the door. Bernie brought me over.” Maggie soothes her daughter, stroking her hair.

  
“She won't talk to me. I just want to see her. She gave it back.” Alex shows her Mum the ring in her pocket. “We were gonna get married. We were gonna give you hoards of grandbabies and now she won't even speak to me.” Alex looks distraught.

  
“I know, baby. I know it hurts.” Maggie coos as both women lead her to Bernie's car. “Please tell your daughter that I hope she's ashamed of how she has _detroyed_ my Alex _again_. She told me what that silly girl at the hospital said. I know Alex didn't betray Sophie. She loves her and look where it's gotten her." Maggie looks angry and disappointed as she turns away.

  
“Are you sure Alex did this, sweetheart? I have to say it sounds like she's telling the truth. If I believe her, then the real question is why you don't.” Lynn gives her thoughts as Sophie appears behind her Mum in the doorway.

  
Sophie had been blinded by her anger earlier and that had convinced her she was in the right. Watching the brunette leave and seeing the state she was in, Sophie has to admit this is the first time that she isn't sure anymore.


End file.
